Why do men say they want a good woman and then when he gets her he takes her for granted and then when she's gone he acts as if he is hurt and do not understand when the truth his he ignored all the signs and communication she tried to address to save the relationship.
Relationships are so complex especially in today's world. Wish there was some sort of sure fire proof manual from say age 5 to guide us through the uncharted waters of relationships. Having said that I agree with the views raised by tgram12 on being friends and communication.
Unfortunately that is the way it is for both Men and Woman in some cases, while in the relationship, the security factor is in place, so therefore no need to really work upon it, but once lost, then all of sudden the reality steps in and if still some feelings there, either one realises the mistake and tries to rekindle what they both had, by this time normally to much water has flowed under the bridge and the mutual bonding has dissipated, emotional feelings are now only one sided and therefore the party most affected starts to claw their way back and hoping everything well be forgotten and you can move on as if nothing happened, but not everyone is able to pick up where you left off and hence you part your ways irrespective whether one is hurting more than the other. Relationships when they fail can be ohhh so cruel no doubt.
I think you all have some truth in all you said. But remember the meaning of good is relative. First seek clarity in any case because often we all speak the same word but mean it very differently.
Another thing, it always sound puzzling to me when people have the notion that most women are not always clear. I do not take it personally really because you won't take it personally if someone said your hair is green when you are so 100% certain it is not. I'm just puzzled because it is so easy to be open & clear & it is the best way to go :-)
You are exactly right. I think both men and women tend not to realize that aside from being sexually opposite, both are still human....not super human with the ability to read minds. There is no possible way a relationship will survive if the two people in it cannot openly communicate their thoughts and feelings. And most importantly....as adults we need to recognize and accept that not everything we communicate is going to be wonderful. It's just like raising kids, if you only want to hear the good stuff and freak out when you hear the bad stuff the door to communication will slam shut and most likely will never be opened again. That's called trust. Once the trust is lost the relationship is over. Actually, we need to hear some bad stuff sometimes or we cease to grow, and.....the good stuff loses its wonderfulness. And that is why I firmly believe that in order to have a solid well rounded relationship, they need to be best friends first. Why is it that we can talk to our best bud about everything without fear or fight but we can't talk to our romantic partner? Seems silly doesn't it?
Some men lie about wanting a good woman. Many want a naughty woman.
Similarly, a lot of women lie about BEING a good woman.
Finally and most importantly, women often fail to communicate clearly.
Look, expecting your guy to read your mind, or pay attention to 'signs' is a major error. If you are in France, SPEAKING ENGLISH LOUDER is not helpful.
You obviously admit that multiple men have issues communicating, and that women are using signs instead of words.
Attempting to get what you want without saying exactly what you want - usually because 1) in your fantasy life, the guy knows without saying or 2) you are embarrased to admit what you want - are the hallmarks of poor communication.
Forget the idea of "I want him to want to do the dishes", and "I want him to know me well enough to predict what I want". The first will NEVER happen, the second takes a decade of living together to achieve (for a man, even if you think you can do the same for him after five hours).