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  • What's Your Love Language and How to Find Yours Posted by Admin

    A love language can be a big factor in a romantic relationship. This article will help to explain love languages and how to go about sharing that special and significant indication with a passionate partner to help boost the connection. 

    Everyone expresses love in their own way. The uniqueness a person gives with their love can be shown in many ways. That expression is based on several groupings also known as love languages.  A love language will allow you to discover who you are as a person and also help create a stronger bond with your partner. This eye-opening realization helps to open new doors in the relationship and even gives you realizations about yourself you may not have known about.

    Love Language
    Photo credit: Jakob Owens

    What is a Love Language?

    A love language describes how someone receives love and affection from another, or how someone expresses their love towards a person. The person on the receiving end is the one who appreciates the gestures. The way they express themselves is a big part of their characteristics in a relationship and can create a powerful impact. There are five love languages, or categories in which people are divided into; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

    Words of Affirmation

    Words of affirmation help spread positive and endearing words towards your partner. These words of encouragement make your partner feel appreciated and confident. The compliments can be short and sweet or long. Some examples include, “you have such a beautiful smile,” “I love your outfit,” or “you are so funny!” Also, if you’re in that stage of your relationship, always be sure to say “I love you” and never let your partner forget it.

    Acts of Service

    If your partner’s love language is acts of service, it means they prefer actions over words. Basically, prove your love instead of saying it. They don’t have to be grand gestures, but enough to show that you care. For example, stopping on the way home to pick up flowers or washing the dishes are great ways to show your affection towards someone. Doing them with a positive attitude and mindset shows you truly are happy doing little things for your partner. A negative attitude will show you’re performing for show and not for meaning. Acts of service require thought, time and effort, and will typically show your partner that you’re serious about the relationship.

    Quality Time

    Your partner may want full, undivided attention, meaning no phones, no television, just each other. A perfect way to do this is go out to dinner. It can also be as simple as cuddling on the couch. Someone whose love language is quality time wants you to focus on them with no distractions because it makes them feel comfortable, secure, and as if your eyes are only on them. When you cancel a date, postpone plans, or forget to include them in something, this may feel like a stab in the back to your partner.

    Receiving Gifts

    Receiving gifts doesn’t have to mean materialistic, expensive things such as a diamond necklace. It can be as simple as picking up a bottle of wine after a long week, or buying a coffee mug and saying, “I bought this because it reminds me of you.” The gifts show you put thought and effort into the relationship and listen to them when they speak. You’re able to remember the little things about them and the things they like.

    Physical Touch

    Physical touch doesn’t always have to be sexual. It can be small, such as holding their hand or a kiss on the forehead. This love language is more about intimacy. The physical act of touch is impactful because they feel connected and safe. Physically you have to be there for them more than emotionally. Gifts won’t change their love, but a hug or gentle back rub will show you care.

    How to Find Your Love Language

    Figure Out What Makes You Most Happy

    Think about the five love languages and try to envision your partner using each one on you.

    If you enjoy their positive comments and compliments, your love language might be words of affirmation.

    Asking yourself how your partner can help reduce your stress and feeling great after your partner does something for you can be an indication that acts of service is your love language. kind of affirmation.

    Meanwhile, if you enjoy receiving any gift showing your partner was thinking about you, then you can assume receiving gifts is your love language.

    If material things don’t seem to stimulate you, try thinking about what happens when you spend quality time with your partner. More importantly, think about how you feel when you’re not with them, or they haven’t answered your text message in a while.

    Lastly, think about how you feel receiving physical touch from your partner, and how long you can go without it.

    Take a Quiz

    After all that thinking and you still can’t decide what your love language is, try taking one of the many quizzes you can find online. These quizzes are here to help you discover what can work for yourself and in your relationship. By answering a bunch of questions about your personality and your relationship, you will be able to learn a lot about yourself and what makes you happy.

    Use The Love Languages on Yourself

    Before having your partner test out all the love languages for you, try doing them on yourself and see how you feel doing them.

    For words of affirmation, talk to yourself. Say it’s going to be a great day and compliment yourself.

    Next, run some errands that you’ve been putting off. See if you’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment getting them done.

    While you’re out, treat yourself to a “just because” gift, by taking yourself to the mall or purchasing a bouquet of flowers or your favorite coffee to pep up your day.

    If you’d rather just spend some quality time with yourself, try putting on your favorite pair of sweatpants and a movie, order takeout, and just hang out.

    For physical touch, wrap yourself up in a blanket or snuggle a pillow. It’s a great test to see if you can handle not having physical touch with another person all the time.

    You are your best judgment, and focusing on making yourself happy before anyone else does will help you create strength and a clear mind.

    How to Acknowledge Your Love Language with Your Partner

    First off, you need to understand that you and your partner may not have the same love language, and that’s okay. Communication is one of the most important things you can have in a relationship. Without talking, you’re left guessing on your partner and it can lead to awkward situations and discomfort.

    You have to discuss your love language with your partner in order to understand one another. This will help to avoid creating tension if you do have different love languages, and it will help to understand one another better. This will be sure to create a stronger bond and relationship with one another, hoping to lead you both to continuous happiness.

    Overall, a love language is a great indicator to help you discover both yourself and your partner. The five love languages of Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch are ways to make your relationship stronger, and can be discovered by trial and error, quizzes, and figuring out what truly makes you happy.

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