I agree with curious2078. She hit it right on the spot. I also agree with the response of Rihanna and her agreement with english0002. Men should be thinking with the head on top of their shoulders and not between their legs. Who wants to be with such a shallow person? Any woman can be dating any man at any given time under certain degrading circumstances, but it takes a REAL man to win a woman's heart and it takes real commitment. Who wants a man whose eyes wander to another female, looks at porn, and acts like a fool? Maybe women have retaliated against men in the cheating department, because women are sick and tired of men cheating on them?
OH, but KRCF, you're right! You know what? I find that women who remain alone, and are not so okay about that, are the usually extremely picky. I have dated a few times a guy that I would never "pick", but who has turned out to be one of the nicest, most sincere and open men I have yet to meet as a single-again woman. I still think there is a lack of chemistry, but am so glad to have met him, and we've been able to talk openly about our needs, wants, goals, etc. For that ONE man I still believe exists, in my optimistic mind, I have to say that if I can't smile, be open, love and allow myself to be loved, I may NEVER recognize him when he shows up. I'm going to boil that down to fear. Fear of making bad choices. Fear of yellow grass. Fear of intimacy with someone I may unmercifully and prematurely consider sub-standard. All in the French-Maid costume of "too good for you" :/
Ok Im open to all opinions. I want to know why ladies who are mainly 25 to 45 and are above average in the looks dept., are still single and can't seem to find a guy to settle down with. Many are looking here and other personals sites. From my dating experience they seem to have higher than average expectations for men. Men on the other hand, such as myself tend to avoid these women once they are figured out. I want to know from both sexes what you think these expectations are and why women dont want to accept the character of guys that are attracted to them?
I dont consider myself beautiful by any means. But, I get passed over all the time by men who assume that I will reject them. How do¿I know this? Because they tell me.... hinting & implying that "a woman like me must be too busy to go out with them" or "can I fit them into my tight schedule"?...etc. I find that very frustrating!¿Sheesh!! ask me out first¿before you envision my weekend! LOL
Sometimes I end up with no dates at all¿because they all assume Im busy! Whats a girl gotta do to get a date around here? I guess I will just have to start asking them out!!? LOL
I wanted to touch on the point you made about accepting the attention of the men that are attracted to them.
Thats an interesting point. Sometimes we dont attract who we want. Whether that be age, status, looks or location. Being Idealistic is not good. It sets people up for failure before they even have a chance. Accepting & working within our "limitations" is just another lesson to learn in life. To get what we want without settling, but being realistic...takes wisdom & patience.
Some of us choose to stay single. I'm incredibly picky and hard to match. I keep it that way on purpose. Yeah yeah I'm young, I've heard it all before. Love how the people who tell me that don't know a thing about me.
Sometimes there are many reasons, things happen in life,¿ Spouses die, Divorce, ¿Children are Important, and it hard to find an un- selfish caring, deeply commited, and devoted to Love¿ kinda Guy.¿
¿And alot of people are looking for love in all the wrong places.
¿And mostly it could¿be fear,¿ but Perfect Love cast out all fear. Better to have a lonely heart, than a broken heart. It takes time. And it is not good to settle. Because that leads to dis-contentment.
Also it is not by sight that we walk, Good looks does not a happy life¿ make, ¿there are alot of drop dead gorgeous people, who are messed up, who can ruin your life, ¿Not every beautiful woman or handsome man ¿is like that, I'm saying there are alot of them out there, cause of their enviornment, or mis understanding¿ or confusion¿about Love.
Sometimes when we endure hardship and lonliness it leads us to the understanding of who we are and what we want, and having ¿endured¿ ¿well¿ it¿¿¿leads to lack of nothing!
Hello, Dannyspl.¿ I'm definitely not one of those above average in looks women you're talking about...I'm pretty average.¿ But I've had close friends who are in that above-average category you're talking about.¿ All of them have said the same thing to me:¿ They have to put up with so many hits from men that if they didn't discriminate--on any basis they can find to eliminate the riff-raff--they'd do nothing with their lives but respond--or not respond--to men hitting on them.
Very beautiful women have their own set of troubles to navigate through to get to a good love match that most of the rest of us women can't even begin to imagine having to deal with.¿ Let me give you an example from my own life:¿ Many years ago, back in Manhattan, I had a very dear, close friend who happened to be stunningly gorgeous.¿ She turned heads wherever she went.¿ We used to like to get together every few weeks or so for dinner to catch up with each other on what was going on in our lives.¿ We tried our best to find out of the way quiet bistros where we wouldn't be bothered--meaning where SHE wouldn't be bothered.¿ But no matter where we went to just talk between ourselves, no matter how quiet or unpopulated the place was, we had to put up with some jerk or another -- several jerks, actually, throughout every meal, coming over to our table to interrupt our conversation in an effort to get my friend to go out with him/sleep with him that night/fly off to the Bahamas with him the next day...¿
My friend had to put up with this crap not just when she was having a quiet dinner with me, but wherever she went, and with whomever she went out with, whether it was a girlfriend she was¿spending time with¿or a man she was dating.¿
This woman was a "real" woman, not a golddigger or a user, or any other kind of scammer.¿ She was quite accomplished in her chosen field.¿ After years of putting up with with such crap, by 35 she'd developed a very thick skin about it--and a rather nasty attitude toward the creeps who reacted so strongly to her looks--and she became quite cynical about ever finding a man who would treat her as just a normal woman with a head and a heart and a soul and real feelings and needs.¿
Thank God, she eventually ran into the man who saw her as a "real woman."¿ The one man for her who saw her for who she was in total.¿ He was not particularly "taken" with her looks--Meaning her¿looks did not send him into "shock and awe."¿ He noticed her looks for sure, but after he noticed her looks, he noticed evrything her "looks" said about who she was.¿ He approached her as one human being to another, and began an intelligent conversation that betrayed nothing of how much¿her looks had initially attracted him.¿ This was easy for him because while he found her beautiful, he also saw in her face a powerful¿and unique intelligence--and he was right.¿ He took the tack of responding to that!!!!¿ He did his best to appeal to her unique intelligence and it worked.
This pair dated for 4 months before becoming physically intimate.¿ FOUR MONTHS!!!!¿ The man who won my friend's heart had enormous patience.¿ He also knew instinctively that he had to touch her soul long before he'd touch¿her body.¿
They've been married for 31--or maybe it's 32--years now, and¿they're still going strong.
I hope this¿answers your question to some valuable to you degree.¿ Beautiful women, who also happen to be highly intelligent and on their own course of accomplishment, very often, especially is they're over 30 or so, appear to be aloof or cold or unapproachable.¿ But they're not.¿ If you have an approach --meaning if you have the good sense, insight and intelligence to look beyond their looks into what they actually LOOK like they¿"might be," -- you can get one of these women.¿ But, if all you can do when you see a beautiful woman is¿say to yourself "WOW" and get a boner and let that boner's head¿decide what you'll say to the woman--you ain't gonna get anywhere with that "broad."
In summary:¿ If a woman is so damn gorgeous that when you look at her across a room all you can think of is how gorgeous she is--and you can't come up with any other ideas about who or what she might be and think and feel except gorgeous--give her a break.¿ Leave her alone.¿ She ain't for you.¿ She is so far beyond you, you might as well be road kill her automobile tires have just run over after 3,786 other automobile tires ran over it.¿
Hope the above gives you some insight into why beautiful women up to the age of 45 or so may still be single.¿¿No offense intented here, Dannyspl.¿ I'm just telling it to you as I know it.¿ If you see a beautiful woman¿who makes you think "Boy, I'd like to boink her," and you can't think of any other reason to approach her and start a conversation, then you're better off NOT approaching her, because if you do approach her with the¿singular attitude that¿"You're beautiful and I'd really like to get to know you," you're going to get your nuts crushed faster than a lone pine tree in an acre wide empty field is going get hit by lightning in a state-wide thunderstorm.
Unless, or course, the gorgeous broad is a hooker,¿in which cas she's¿going take your money....
So, pal, go forth with this motto¿in mind:¿ Beautiful women are people too.¿ Keep that¿right up there in the forefront of your thinking and you'll find¿and connect with the exceptionally beautiful woman you're looking for.
Women that are above average do not easily find someone to like. When they do they are so much into it. It is like when you are hungry for a long time and suddenly they put a plate full of food in front of you! So, when the other guy sees that he losts interest. A man wants to fight for her love but now he takes this for granted. And he says that he does not feel the way it was at the begining and breaks up with her. The problem is that this girl will be heartbroken and need a long time to feel for another guy... Is this good enough?
I absolutely agree with kimrich....its not so much women have high expectations but after previous relationships fail, people tend to become more cautious about initiating a relationship or if they seek one they prefer not to settle....which is absolutely fair if u think about it ....because building a relationship is making an emotional investment....n everyone is waiting for otha other person to make a move....its tha whole mating ritual game...noone wants to get screwed over so everyone jus plays it safe....tha truth is tho People have to put themselves out there if they wanna see sparks occur.
Have you ever asked yourselves why there are many "uglier" men dating very attractive women? I have a couple of girlfriends who are in serious relationships with "such guys".These men have the guts to go up to any woman and ask for a date,thus appearing self-confident,whereas men who consider themselves attractive AND successful wait for women to make the first move........ just to notice them sitting in a crowd of 1 million LOL.Well this will not occur. Men who just go ahead and ask a lady out are saying,"I like you and will protect you in all situations".That is what we are looking for.And these men do everything to keep the lady,bringing roses once in while and many other simple things which make a relationship last.They REALLY apppreciate her beauty.Unfortunately many good looking successful men want to gather "souvenirs"(I dated MISS....).Women generally do not want to be seen as status symbols.
I am a 53 yr old big beautiful women who can still turn heads when I walk into a room, but men won't come up to me because they sense my independence and this scares them. My close male friends have told me this also. What is wrong with being independent, nothing in my mind, so why are men scared of that? Why do men need needy women, does it make them feel more adequate or what? So because of this I have chose to stay single and enjoy life. I don't want to be judged by anyone, life is too short. Not all women are gold diggers, men just think they are or that is the picture that they paint and it is the men that judge women not the other way around!!!!
Single and still enjoying life.... as the Bible says, one should be equally yoked! Why settle when you can hire someone to do the manly things around your home....it's about meeting a quality man ... not a quick fix .... anybody can have that.
On the other hand Danny I believe some women such as myself tend to scare or intimidate men because of the woman's independence. I am still single, i know that i am not a bad looking person and in my early 40s, i know that i have a good heart, am a kind person, however I believe the men I have dated prefer a woman who is more dependent and needy, yet because of my personality and character, it is unwise for me to be in that category which is probably a turn off for some men. Just my thought!
For myself, I have been divorced almost 4 years, and while I have met some great guys... several of them at my age, want to have their cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean. I definetly love to have fun in life and embrace it entirely, but I can't support dishonest ways. I know there are men who have figured it out..how to have a great relationship..but there are still some who are wandering around lost a bit seeing this and that woman.
Now, for me, I went back and got a doctorate.¿I started it while¿I was getting a divorce. It took 3 years and then I had a daughter who was kind of going¿down a dangerous road, so this was all overwhelming a bit....and I was cranky....yep, for sure....I am sure these things were not appealing to any man.
I just had my first boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Only lasted 6 months, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would still be with him if he could communicate openly and honestly. He admitted this was tough for him. I won't go into further details, but I felt like I would be banging my head against the wall in the near future due to frustration.
Guys, I love you, but I draw the line on the above things....
I still recall the first rejection dealt me at my first Jr. High School dance. After waiting til 9:30 (the dance ended at 10) I mustered the courage to finally walk across the gym and ask a "plain jane" to dance with me. The hurt from being told "no thanks", albeit polite, was magnified by the long walk back to the opposite wall. Whether it was a first dance, a first date, or perhaps simply reaching for her hand first, there was always the expectation that it was up to the man to make the first move. Putting my arm around her at the movies, leaning in for a kiss at the front door, or even slipping my hand inside her sweater for the first time at the drive-in theatre, the onus was always on me to make the first move. She always had the power of rejection by simply saying "no". As if it wasn't difficult enough being told no by the "non-hotties", why would I even venture to be ridiculed by a "beautiful" girl?? After all, didn't beautiful women in school garner ALL the attention anyway from the handsome jocks? The fact that the "popular" or attractive girls hung out with each other didn't make it any easier to break into that clique. As far as I was concerned, I learned early in life that the beautiful girls were out of bounds It was a painful lesson that remained with me for a long, long time. It wasn't until a decade later that I realized that in actuality, often the most beautiful women get the least amount of attention in public settings. Which does little to instill confidence in them either. Today I find that I am intellectually attracted to the woman who is willing to help others, either with a kind word or offering a hand, that gets my attention. If she is quick to smile and say a kind word, all the better. Putting down another woman for any reason, being mean or cruel to another person for any reason are extreme and usually permanent turn offs. As far as sexual attraction goes, when the lights are out and the room is dark, if she purrs while she reazches for me, she'll never get any more beautiful/attractive/sexy than that.