A newly married young wife, wanting to promote variety in their lives, brought home a number of items from the store. Several hours later, the young husband returned home from work to find a very distraught spouse sitting in the corner with her arms crossed and a heavy frown on her face. He checked his watch. "I'm not late am I?" he asked cautiously. She shook her head. With a puzzled look, he asked what the trouble was. "I wanted to suprise you with new activities for te two of us," she said, "...and I tried all afternoon to put this together but I couldn't fit any of the pieces together." She showed him the box with the tiger picture as they went into the dining room. she had everything spread across the table. "See honey, it's supposed to be a tiger." He looked first at the box she was holding then at the table and then at his wife as he quickly began to make sense of it all. "I think that this puzzle must be defective honey. I'll....uh... put it away. Then we can try a different game." And without another word, he took the box from her and ushered her into the other room. Then he quickly returned, gathered up all the Frosted Flakes from the top of the table and put them back into the box.
A blonde is sitting in a plane and decides that she didn't like her allocated seat. She gets up and finds herself a place in 1st class and settles down comfortably.
The stewardess tries to explain to her that this is not possible but she refuses to return to her seat. One by one every stewardess tries - unsuccessfully - until one reports the woman to the captain of the plane.
The captain listens to the stewardess' complaint, nods assuringly and tells her, "Don't worry dear, it's not a problem, just leave it to me" He walks up to the blonde, has a short conversation with her and she willingly gets up and returns to her seat.
The stewardesses can't believe how easily the captain persuades the blonde to return to her seat without a struggle and asks him what he told her. "Easy" he said, "I'm married to a blonde so I just told her first class wasn't flying to L.A."¿
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
A Blond lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blond, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blond. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blond walking down the street holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blond," but we had a little money left over---so now we're headed to Sea World.