Here's a list of new phrases to use at work during normal conversation with cowrkers so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner, without risk of offending the more sensitive employees who run and complain to management.
1)TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: When the f*ck do you expect me to do this?
2)TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f*cking way!
3)TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh!tting me.
4)TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with . . . INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh!t.
5)TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned. INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a sh!t.
6)TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*cking problem.
7)TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?
8)TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this. INSTEAD OF: f*ck it, it won't work.
9)TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
10)TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem? INSTEAD OF: Who the f*ck cares?
11)TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his 'ss.
12)TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my 'ss.
13)TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment. INSTEAD OF: f*ck it, I'm on salary.
14)TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your 'ss.
15)TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
16)TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
17)TRY SAYING: I see. INSTEAD OF: Bite me.
18)TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it. INSTEAD OF: Another f*cking meeting?
19)TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem. INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a sh!t.