If you're not an "upgraded" member, you will not be able to "message"--you can, however "wink" at someone to express your interest. IF they contact you & they are upgraded, then you'll be able to converse.
Don't quote me on this, but I believe unless things have changed, Woman have access to the message facility here without being a Paid up member,other than that it pretty much is the Blog and forum activity only.
If you are not sure, you can try accessing the message facility by clicking on messages on the main page.
Though if somebody whom is a premium member writes you, then you have the option to respond, but you cannot initially initiate an email as listed below.
As an example below this is only available to Premium membership.