Dear Lena, I believe that good starting point for long relationships... knowing your own values. If your life values match (at least top of those) with values of your potential Mister Right, then you are on the right path.
Look for someone with the same values as you. If you can have a nice phone conversation you can weed out those who are not a fit. Do not give your phone number but you can take his and call him on a blocked call.
I think you can exchange a few emails and let things go naturally - I do not believe in pushing people on the phone . A connection is something any of us can feel and a gentleman will take time to ask a few questions , make you laugh here and there and move things as things go ..Having a method is the best way to never create results . We are humans not some robot programmed to do things one way and not another .. In my experience meeting face to face too quickly can be awful and get you no way . If there is no connection via email and chat , dont expect one when you meet in person . As you I was a gold member and still met no one i really liked . This site is not made the smartest way . Lot of gold members send chat messages to women who are not gold members and assume we ignore them ..which is not the case , we cant read chat messages . simple
A lady wants to be safe, and not give her number out to any Tom, Dick, and Harry. So many ladies realize that man is not right, but since they've already given out their number, they get toyed with, picked on, insulted. Then you want to be careful who you give your number to. Not to mention if the phone block works, they find you on your social media to continue. Of course that doesn't always happen, but even after once, you hesitate giving your number out so easily. I'm sure there are other scenarios as well, that make ladies hesitate first.
In this type of sites it is difficult, because they have turned this into a business in which you have to pay for everything and with this make it impossible for people to communicate outside the site, but on the site it is not allowed to provide contacts and only these two conditions make impossible any possibility of two members of the site meet, and many profiles are false and probably many belong to the administration itself.
first of all, you need to find a genuine dating site...it is very difficult now days to find genuine businesses and people...I was better back in the day when the internet was more simple and more personal. I used to meet lots of people then, including developers and lots of interesting people. Because it was in its first steps I never imagine it was going to me taken buy businesses, and corporations, and so now it became less personal. Go to nice places, volunteer, meet people outside the internet. Ask friends to introduce you to friends, that's how sometimes you can find men, and no worry about being scammers. Trust me, lots of us woman are in the same boat.
I think from a guys perspective when women move too slow and are hesitant to move to a phone conversation then guys will simply move on. If you like someone then you need to exchange numbers relatively quickly. And it doesn't require 5 phone conversation to set up a date. If by the 2nd conversation she is not ready to meet face to face then either she doesn't know what she wants, is hiding something or is not emotionally ready to be on this site. All red flags. If you don't want to do a 2+ hour dinner the 1st meeting then do drinks. Until you meet face to face you have nothing. I've had wonderful 3 week long text and phone conversations only to be completely let down when I met them face to face. You have to get out there and actually date. This is not an online texting/conversation site. Get out there and do what you sign up to do. I promise after about three or four bad dates you'll get really good at pre-screening out the bad ones. Just my two cents.
Be very specific in your profile. Post many pictures in different settings that portray you in all your truest light. This is work and you will need to respond and move to phone and meeting quite quickly if you feel it might be a potential match. Interest is lost if too many emails are exchanged on this site or not enough pictures are given with good lighting or full body exposure. Nudes give poor expression.... do not do that!