Why are men afraid to date someone disabled? Health

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 09, 2005 at 11:35 PM

    many times when you look at someone they may be disabled and you can't even tell or you see someone who is disabled but alot of times you don't know the reasons why or know how severe it is.
    I have chronic pain disorder in my rght leg, caused by a work accident and stopped walk for 3yrs. Now I've leanr't how to walk again 2yrs ago and walk with a cane. Men just can't get by/look past a womens disabilty to see who you really are.
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  • View author's info Posted on Jul 04, 2015 at 12:12 AM

    Greetings my dear, been disable is not a crime, if someone wants you, he will accept for who are so please fear not, always believe that you will meet male of your life that a person in good shape cannot have. This takes me back to 2004, I was dating a girl for over six years when got into a terrible accident, both my legs was paralysed you know what she did, shecame to see me at hospital for five minutes and left, at one AM in middle of the night she called to tell me she don't want my anymore per she find somebody elese, and I answer thank you. She I was going to die but I'm still here, my father pass at 110 and my aunt just pass also seven month ago at 122, so my dear distance friends all of you who are disable fear not, the best is tet to come.

    I love you all.


  • View author's info Posted on May 07, 2013 at 08:27 AM

    I am profoundly deaf, men I dated just couldn't handle it. Whether is dating, getting a job, and etc. one will always come across people who fear the differences and or just plain shallow. I learn just to enjoy life, and have no expectations once I did so many doors opened. I been blessed to travel to places only dreamed of even if it was alone, completed my BA, and I do read lips, communicate as well speak more than one language. Being deaf does not define me as whole is just one the many parts that make me who I am. Even though it would be nice if most people were not so shallow and get to know you, I am realistic so I just end up removing negativity from life and just continue enjoying life to fullest. Life is too short to waste wondering why those individuals we have encountered were not strong enough or man enough to accept it. I rather be single then having bad company/companion ...
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 25, 2012 at 01:28 PM

    Hang in there, all men are not that shallow. I wish you all the best.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 06, 2012 at 05:53 AM

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 27, 2010 at 06:23 PM

    Hi: I feel for you and others in this position. I have dated a man who was in a car accident and stood croocked and walked with a limp. I had no problem and felt proud when other me gave me dirty looks. They are shallow and think women are only after looks and body shape etc. Personally if I fell in love with someone with a disability, I would marry them and be proud to be their wife.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 01:10 PM

    i feel the need to respond here. as was said in an earlier post.....women have been conditioned to seek out/ date only very prosperous/wealthy/virile men over the ages. have men AND women that are on disability (you can "look" at a lot of us and not even know it until we tell you!) but the mere mention of "DISABILITY" does tend to scare people off. ive been told over the years that im "damaged goods", that "they dont have time to take care of me, they want to have a 'normal' life" [whatever that is!], as well as a few choice other things i shall not mention.
    every one of the women in this post that has said that they have had or do have disability [ies] are beautiful. the men that are saying that they want a beautiful woman inside out and are walking past THESE women should be slapped. the same goes for women towards men as well.
    ok, im off of my soapbox now...... ;)
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 30, 2006 at 04:38 PM

    LOL, nice to see some humor brought to this sad reality! I think if we reverse the scenario, many of us women would be hesitant to get involved with a disabled man. We are, by nature, designed to seek a strong healthy mate with good genes that can provide us with children and protect us. These natural drives motivate us to a greate and lesser degree, even today although they are not as necessary for survival as they once were. So a disability in any sex is going to diminish the instinctive drive in the opposite sex to select them as a partner. HOWEVER, I believe your troubles may be primarily in initial reactions, because once someone actually meets you, gets to know you, etc., I think those things can become less important. I know a woman who married a guy in a wheelchair (after divorcing my best friend from HS!lol) so I know it can happen when people are real about circumstances and expectations. Imagine any relationship where the partners are NOT disabled. What do they believe will happen if one of them BECOMES disabled? Strokes happen, maiming accidents happen, and what about the rigors of age? Alzheimers happens, dementia, incontinence, tooth loss, lol all these things can happen, drastically altering one partner in a relationship. The question is to the maturity of the persons involved and how they are going to deal with such changes. I know I would be there for my man, but am I less sure about his commitment? Are we just fun-time travel buddies, good in bed and dancing through life? I want that too, but I want stability in knowing in our golden years, when things are NOT so golden, that we will maintain that commitment. Good luck to you, I'm sorry you have to deal with such an issue so early in life. I hope you have/find compensations.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 27, 2006 at 02:34 PM

    Heck, cutiebootie, based on some of the men we've all met, dated, married, or otherwise associated with (you know what I'm talking about) we ALL have probably suffered from a triple plague of disabilities. Sometimes they strike alone, and sometimes all at once: Deafness, dumbness, blindness! lmao

    Have a smiley day!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 13, 2006 at 05:37 PM

    I totally agree with you...I too are disabled...but no one can tell till I get sick. I had a minor surgery 4 1/2 yrs ago and it led to a chronic bone infection.
    Doesn't even cost anything to get it fixed, comes out of 1 of my trust accounts.

    Sure scares them off though

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  • View author's info Posted on Dec 24, 2005 at 09:20 PM

    Im sure I can help you