So I'm wondering how the "I'm looking for someone to make me happy" works. I see the following (or a variation) a lot on women's profiles:
"Someone who will make me feel loved, special, and valued."
"Someone who will make me feel like my best self when I'm with him."
"Someone who wants to make me happy, self sacrificing, and focuses on me."
It's then followed by...
"Relationships are give and take...let's compromise."
When I read these lines, I feel like I WANT TO SCREAM: THAT AIN'T MY JOB! Any other guys feel this way? As though we should be, and must be, responsible for another person's happiness? If I'm responsible to make a person feel a certain way, how is that a "relationship compromise?" That sounds like a "do or die" command.
I am responsible for my own happiness. Living in this country, the pursuit of happiness is a right we hold in common with others. That doesn't suggest another is responsible to make me happy.
As an example, if finding a guy who looks like a happy Santa Claus would make me happy, then I will search for Santa look-alikes. If I want my partner to have blue eyes, I'll search for those.
Beauty is hard to define; we know it when we see it. That doesn't mean we all agree on what is beautiful. Only after years of being together, can one say with some assurance that the other will be happy when getting or doing a particular something. Even then, they could be wrong.
This also makes me crazy. What's worse is people who don't explicitly state this, though, and are waiting for you to guess you're supposed to make them happy! (*LOUD SIGH*)
So I'm wondering how the "I'm looking for someone to make me happy" works. I see the following (or a variation) a lot on women's profiles:
"Someone who will make me feel loved, special, and valued."
"Someone who will make me feel like my best self when I'm with him."
"Someone who wants to make me happy, self sacrificing, and focuses on me."
It's then followed by...
"Relationships are give and take...let's compromise."
When I read these lines, I feel like I WANT TO SCREAM: THAT AIN'T MY JOB! Any other guys feel this way? As though we should be, and must be, responsible for another person's happiness? If I'm responsible to make a person feel a certain way, how is that a "relationship compromise?" That sounds like a "do or die" command.