Living in Los Angeles, the Beauty vs Money bartering system is securely in place. It's a genderless issue...wealthy older women are just as interested in very handsome younger men and it's also a trade.
The draw for me is safety and security. If, however (and this is KEY) I get the slightest whiff of something outside of his financial stability that renders him unsafe (such as feeling like he's just looking for a fly by night relationship or shows no past signs of having a lasting longterm relationship with someone other than a supermodel or playmate), I'm probably not going to be interested because the Money-Safety draw is nothing more than a mirage and it's doubtful I'll accept a second date.
fun4two...I commend you for attempting to understand BFK...his writing style doesn't hold my attention. roberts115...well said...how someone makes you feel about yourself is incredible, & can create such strong feelings of love for that person...you can love them no matter what, overlooking qualities that otherwise in another person you would never accept; therefore, would never even consider dating.
Men want beauty, sex, the thrill of the chase...all that jazz (but no games please) LOL
I can lead them a merry F---g chase, and hand them their heart back on a silver platter....... but no, I choose to use my powers for good, ......... Looks and age catch the eye. But what separates humans from the animals....consious choice. The ability to look beyond the first glance, men want youth, beauty......
The only men I see so far who are more emotionally evolved are Mag--who needs youth, beauty and a uterus, BFD who needs a strong sexually matured, mystically alluring mate with intelligence to equal or surpassing his own.
Oh and that fab. long haired god in the long leather coat........now he is worth day dreaming about. I really don't care if he is emotionally evolved....
But all these guys are up front about their mate requirements... I lost what the heck I was thinking.....Those three finish off what little sane thoughs I have left..... must be lack of sex....
What I what to say really is:
Every once in a while you will meet someone who makes you feel like the most special person alive.
They can be as ugly as a two headed humpback goat, and that takes you by surprise, Its how you feel about yourself when you are with them. The most beautiful intelligent best-kept secret, That only with great restraint are they not throwing you down and making love then and there. I am not just checking out the good looking guys, but maybe the love and security I crave will be with someone without rugged good looks, or smooth GQ polish. Perhaps short, bald, with a heart large enough to worship me for the goddess that I am....
I feel so lucky......so blessed....... Brad....Keep your shin up dude...there is much more to you that you know. Have confidence in yourself, like yourself. That is one of the most attractive qualities I look for. And you are not bad looking......Attitude the look says it all look at my eyes, what do you ...
I knew a girl in highschool who started sleeping around at age 13...had a really bad rep...it caught up to her in her mid-20's, she went for 10 yrs of psychiatric sessions...her past left her with no inclination toward sex...she married a man whose sex libo was very low. This suited her as she couldn't care if she never had sex again. Not all females lose their sex drive...for some it only gets better! :-)
At the risk of seeming a ?slut,? I can't imagine anyone being repulsed by sex. Being repulsed by someone who WANTS sex with YOU is possible, but sex is just bliss in an A-bomb! Even a toothless old beer-guzzler with a comb-over starting from his shoulder blades, man-boobs & a gut that could test the limits of Spandex can be the implementor of great sex; if you glue your eyes shut, stuff wax in your ears & hold your breath for an hour. If you can suspend the horror of reality & use your imagination, a climax can be reached regardless of beauty, or the lack of it.
BFD said women want money to make them feel safe. Well, that's probably true at times, but I don't feel safe just because I have cash. I definitely feel HAPPY when I do, so money DOES buy ME happiness! But safety, for me requires more.
A man I met online, lives on the coast, and said he wanted me, that he longed for the touch of my skin, the scent of my hair, the feel of my lips, the weight of my body on his; all that stuff you know is being said so you'll sleep with him. God, bless him! But, this was all online for a few months. I didn't know how he really felt or how I would feel in return until we met. I told him I was looking for a man who could hold me & make me feel safe, who would pull me to his chest & nothing could hurt me. I guess the safety I craved wasn't so much a wish for protection from physical harm, or bankruptcy as a desire to know, with no doubt, that he cared about me & would always be there for me.
When we met, it was instant lust at first sight, for both. It was everything I ever wanted. Then he confessed ... he was married.
I didn't freak out. I figured SOMETHING must have been up; everything was too perfect. He said he wasn't unhappily married. He said he would never leave his wife & children. He said he never thought it would be a problem to ?hook up? with me & then just go back home. But it was. I didn't judge right away, mostly because I ...
I heard that a lot from my male friends, BFD, what you said about "women beginning to actually BE uninterested to mildly interested in sex or to dislike or even repulse at the idea of acting provocative". It's like once they know they've got their man hooked, they don't make the effort anymore or in fact, they revert to their REAL personality. That is beyond me. I think it boils down to COMPATIBILITY... wanting the same things... and being HONEST... if you don't like to be provocative or sexy for your man or boost his ego, etc., and that's how he likes it, well don't be with the guy! You're bound to end up unhappy anyways so why waste anybody's time! I know that I sure want my man to be sexy and provocative with me... and that's how I am with him also. You know how people come into your life either for a brief moment, for a month, or a season or a lifetime? These people will always bring you something that you can learn from, you just need to be observant. Well this man came into my life only for the duration on ONE email... on a dating site (he was too far away)... he wrote to me: "Anything worthwhile in your life requires constant care and attention. If you bought a 200 000$ race horse, would you give it 24-hour care? It's the same with a relationship." What he said just stick to me like glue. If you're in a relationship, you have to work at it, be creative, find new ways of making it interesting... BUT it has to be a two-way street... it has to come from both partners, and that starts at the very beginning of the relationship with honesty. As for money, marrying for money is a temporary materialistic band-aid... it lasts so long, and then inevitably the want for something deeper and true kicks in, and THAT's a sure thing... nobody can escape that! I never married for money, never will... Compatibility AND chemistry... nothing else.
Ok, I'd have to agree with the last comment. When you're almost 80 and crawling up under your 600 thread count sheets beside the man who you've spent your entier life loving (as he sets his teeth out on to the nightstand next to you) you won't care about what car's in the drive way, or what size the house is, you'll look at him with no teeth and think how you are the luckiest women in the world because you've spent the best years of your life with someone who has made you laugh and giggle and touch your heart in ways no one else could. Besides money makes the world go round but its all the things money can't buy that make life worth the ride! The warm touch of a good man or soft kiss of his lips, can't buy that. Besides you could lose every penny tomorrow and then what will you be left with?
Seems like everywhere I went there was BFDeal and his lengthy tomes.I decided to see for myself what exactly he was about and prepared to dislike him.I was wrong.Once I got past the way he presents his opinion I had to confess that,bottom line,he was right about alot of things.We women can turn our noses up at money,say we don't need it etc.I say if thats true then why are we all on THIS site rather than Poor Nice Guys.com?Deal is right.whether or not we care to admitt it we women,deep down,do want things like security and safety.Financial,emotional and physical.Let's face it money can provide at least two of those.Of course we all know a rich jerk who would't make us feel secure emotionally.We should take responsibility for that anyway.I have 47 yrs.behind me so don't need BFDeal to tell me men lust.Men are obsessed with sex,so what.Yes it takes physical attraction to produce lust but,BFDeal thank goodness for different tastes.What may turn you on may not be what turns on another.I don't always care for the way you say it but it doesn't make many of your points less valid.Then again some of your points are not fact,just your opinion and you should have a bit more patience with anothers point of viewI pre judged you to be a jerk.You aren't and there is an extraordinary mind in there.
Of course I don't want someone who wants me for my bank account. I want someone to love me for me. I'll spot a gold digger a mile away. If I attract her with my bank account, that's fine. But ther is no way someone will fool me into taking them for anything more than a sexual relationship if they are there just for the money. My money lets me attract beautiful women...no question about that. From that group, I have to find the one that's intelligent and who will love me for me. Just like the women in here are seeking a man with money, they need to find the man that is intelligent (not a lotto winner idiot, nor just an inheritance wino) and attractive. Attraction is in the eye of the beholder. Every face is beautiful in it's own way. But I'm also seeking youth - someone who is strong that can keep up with my physical activities.
Ultimately, all that matters in your life are relationships, whether to God, your spouse, children, family or friends. Money, security, possessions, and appearances all disappear over time: you lose them as you age or you lose them when you die. Knowing your relationships are all that matter, you'd be a fool to base them on something as meaningless and transient as appearance or money. Any marriage based primarily on those attributes is certain to fail. But--money and beauty is what this world is all about. It is not going to change. It never has and it never will. And no...young and beautiful women in their 20's are not attracted to men over 40 unless those men are wealthy (with the occasional exception of the women who share a severe psychological problem centered around their relationships with their fathers).
You know, I'm in my mid 40's and my last girlfriend was 26 and a gorgeous doll...smart too! If I didn't have my money and power, I would never have met her and I doubt she would have even looked my way. There is no way that she was attracted to anything but me as a person. So money gets you the beautiful women...absolutely. It gives me the confidence to feel like I've earned gorgeous women to be at my side. But I won't stand beside any bimbo or dummy. 20 years ago, my knees would knock and I'd trip all over myself to try and be with a beautiful woman. Now, I can stare them in the eye without being nervous...because I have them all around me. But I'm still looking fo that special someone - my soul mate. So it didn't buy me that! Not yet anyway.
I believe both sexes place too much value on both looks and money....although from a woman's perspective, having financial security means saying goodbye to some very major life stressors and allows her to concentrate more fully on her partner and also enables her to keep herself beautiful for her partner. And feeling beautiful and knowing her partner thinks she is beautiful adds to a woman's inner beauty by building self confidence. It would be nice to say that this could be (and sometimes is) accomplished without available finances, but often is not. It's just a reality of life. And men are very visual beings. They want buns, and beauty, and glamour (which most of us start out with but tends to fade with age) but fail to understand that what they "see" isn't necessarily what their true heart desires. Men are afraid to admit they "need" a good-hearted woman, and so often opt for looks instead of inner beauty. Neither beauty nor money can bring lasting happiness if that is the only motive for love. If a man can say he would truly still love his woman if she were disfigured or scarred, and a woman can say she would truly still love her man if he were broke and living on the street, that's real love from the heart. Really, when it comes down to it, what else is there to live for ? It's certainly not money or beauty.
I agree with a lot of things presented here, but let's remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My idea of beauty is probably a bit different from everyone else's. As an example, I find what I see in a woman's smile to be the most important part of her beauty. Is her smile a warm one? And does she have kind eyes? When we first meet, these things tell me more about you than almost everything else.
I don't care how much money the man has. If I'm not attracted to him I'm not sleeping with him. That would make me no better than a hooker. To me the inner beauty is more important than the other. I have gone out with some very attractive men and once I've gotten to know them didn't see them that way anymore. Money is an added bonus as most relationships fail from argueing over the lack of it. And looks with time will fade but what lies within the heart is there forever.
Let's do a little test. I'm willing to bet that if everyone thought about their very first love they would find themselves smiling. See.... forever.