Love or Lunch? The New Dating Trend That’s Draining Wallets

Modern dating has never been simple, but in recent years, it's taken some unexpected turns. With ghosting, breadcrumbing, and situationships becoming normalized, another trend has quietly emerged—one that’s leaving daters confused, frustrated, and sometimes broke. Enter the “foodie call.” This is when someone agrees to go on a date not out of genuine interest in the other person, but purely to enjoy a free meal.

It might sound like a joke or an internet meme, but foodie calls are very real—and increasingly common. In cities around the world, singles are admitting to scheduling dates simply to experience fine dining, cocktails, and ambiance on someone else’s dime. But this trend raises important questions: Is it harmless? Is it manipulative? And what does it say about the state of dating today?

Let’s dive into the surprising rise of foodie calls, explore who’s doing it and why, and examine how this trend is reshaping our expectations around love, money, and respect in relationships.

The Rise of the Foodie Call: What Is It, Exactly?

A “foodie call” is a modern term coined to describe the act of going on a date with the primary or sole intention of enjoying a free meal. Unlike a “booty call,” where mutual physical interest is typically present, a foodie call involves a one-sided motive—specifically, using a date for personal gain without romantic intentions.

In some cases, it might be a one-time decision made out of boredom or financial stress. In others, it becomes a pattern—lining up dinners throughout the week with different people from dating apps, each date serving more as a dining opportunity than a romantic one. What used to be whispered about in dating horror stories is now being talked about openly on social media, especially on platforms like TikTok and Twitter, where users flaunt “dating for dinner” diaries like badges of honor.

While not illegal, foodie calls toe an ethical line. They involve a degree of misrepresentation, even if subtle, and can leave one party feeling used or deceived. The practice may seem harmless to some, but to others, it’s a frustrating exploitation of time, effort, and emotional energy.

Who’s Doing It — and Why?

The people engaging in foodie calls come from various backgrounds and do so for different reasons. Research suggests that a significant portion of singles have, at some point, gone on a date solely for the free food. A study from Azusa Pacific University and UC Merced revealed that between 23% and 33% of women surveyed admitted to participating in foodie calls. Though the trend is more commonly associated with women, it’s not exclusive to them—men, too, have accepted dates for free perks or entertainment without serious interest.

For some individuals, economic pressures are at play. Living in expensive cities or dealing with tight budgets might make the idea of a free gourmet meal particularly tempting. For others, it’s about access to a lifestyle they might not otherwise afford—trendy restaurants, signature cocktails, or Instagram-worthy ambiance.

Then there are those who view dating as a form of entertainment rather than a path to emotional connection. Going on dates is less about potential relationships and more about the experience, the story, or the indulgence.

Social conditioning also plays a role. Many still hold the belief that men should pay for the date, particularly the first one. When this belief is deeply ingrained, it becomes easier to rationalize the act of accepting a date purely for the food, especially if the paying party seems willing.

The Psychology Behind It: Desire, Deception, and Disconnection

At its core, the foodie call is more than a quirky dating habit—it reflects deeper issues within modern relationship culture. A foodie call involves a kind of emotional performance, where someone feigns interest to access a benefit, all while knowing they have no plans to continue the relationship.

This behavior often stems from a mix of cynicism, emotional burnout, and a transactional mindset. Many people, especially those who’ve experienced repeated disappointment in dating, start to see relationships through a lens of cost-benefit analysis. If love feels unreliable, why not get something out of the process—even if that something is just dinner?

There’s also a psychological aspect rooted in entitlement. Some believe that since others want attention or intimacy, it’s fair to accept what’s offered—food, drinks, gifts—without offering emotional honesty in return. This thinking reduces dating to a negotiation of value rather than a mutual exploration of compatibility.

Ultimately, foodie calls reveal a broader issue of disconnection. When people no longer approach dates with sincerity and openness, trust begins to erode. Relationships—whether casual or serious—depend on authenticity. Foodie calls disrupt that balance.

Real-Life Experiences: Stories from the Frontlines of Dating

Online communities are filled with firsthand accounts of foodie calls, from both those who have been on the receiving end and those who have initiated them.

One man shared that he matched with a woman on a dating app who seemed interested. She suggested an upscale sushi restaurant for their first date. During dinner, she barely asked him anything about himself and was glued to her phone. When the bill came, she made no attempt to contribute. Later, he found her TikTok account, where she bragged about her weekly foodie calls with different men.

Another person, a graduate student, confessed to accepting dates solely for meals during a tough financial period. They said they felt bad but justified their actions by noting that they were upfront about not looking for anything serious. Still, they admitted it was a gray area that made them uncomfortable in hindsight.

These stories vary in tone, but they all reflect a shifting landscape in which dating is increasingly viewed as a tool for personal gain rather than connection.

The Financial Toll: A Hidden Cost of Modern Dating

For many people—especially men, who are still more likely to foot the bill—the financial toll of modern dating is rising. Frequent first dates at restaurants, bars, or lounges can add up quickly, sometimes costing hundreds or even thousands of dollars over the course of a few months.

When dates turn out to be disingenuous, it adds a layer of resentment. The feeling of being used for financial benefit, even if unspoken, can breed mistrust and discourage people from dating altogether.

Women who genuinely want to build connections also suffer from the fallout. When foodie calls become more common, some men start to view all dates with suspicion. This creates a hostile environment where authentic interest is questioned, and people feel pressure to prove their sincerity just for accepting a dinner invitation.

Are Foodie Calls Justified?

This is a deeply polarizing question. Some argue that if someone voluntarily offers to pay for dinner, the recipient isn’t obligated to reciprocate interest. The logic goes: if there’s no guarantee of a romantic connection, why get upset about a date that doesn’t lead anywhere?

Others strongly disagree. They contend that going on a date without any interest in the person—and never intending to follow up—is inherently deceptive. While rejection is a normal part of dating, pretending to be interested to access a benefit crosses a moral line.

Intent matters. If the person accepting the date is transparent, and the other party still insists on paying, there may be no ethical breach. But when one person conceals their true intentions and takes advantage of another’s generosity, the action becomes exploitative.

How Dating Culture Fuels This Trend

The foodie call is not an isolated phenomenon. It’s part of a larger trend toward transactional dating. App fatigue, short attention spans, and a growing casualness around relationships all contribute to the rise of behaviors that prioritize personal gain over mutual connection.

With dating apps offering an endless stream of options, people are less inclined to invest deeply in any one person. Dates become experiments, sometimes even competitions or status markers. At the same time, the lack of face-to-face accountability allows for more manipulative behavior, since the emotional consequences are often less immediate.

As dating becomes more commodified, trust and authenticity suffer. When everyone is looking out for themselves, fewer people are truly looking for love.

Recognizing the Signs That You’re Being Used for a Meal

For those wary of being on the receiving end of a foodie call, certain behaviors may serve as warning signs. If someone insists on a pricey restaurant right away, seems overly focused on the meal itself, or appears disengaged throughout the date, it may indicate that their motives aren’t romantic.

Similarly, if they make no effort to reciprocate in conversation, show no interest in follow-up, or disappear shortly after the date, it's worth reevaluating their intentions. While not all disengaged dates are foodie calls, a consistent pattern of this behavior is a red flag that you're being treated as a means to an end rather than a potential partner.

How to Protect Yourself Without Losing Faith in Dating

Protecting yourself from foodie calls doesn’t mean becoming cold or cynical. It’s about being strategic and self-respecting. Consider suggesting low-pressure, low-cost first dates like coffee, a walk in the park, or casual drinks. These types of meetups allow you to gauge compatibility without investing too much upfront.

Pay attention to whether the other person is engaged, curious about you, and responsive to your efforts. Be clear about your dating intentions and boundaries, and don’t ignore your instincts if something feels off.

Most importantly, remember that your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth are valuable. Choose to spend them on people who treat you—and the experience of getting to know you—with respect.

Conclusion: Redefining the Date

The foodie call trend is more than a quirky side effect of online dating, it’s a symptom of a dating culture increasingly shaped by mistrust, disconnection, and individual gain. While dating has always involved some level of risk and investment, the growing prevalence of transactional behavior threatens to erode the foundation of sincerity and mutual interest.

As we navigate this complicated landscape, it’s important to return to the core values of dating: curiosity, respect, and emotional honesty. Whether you're paying for dinner or accepting the invitation, showing up with genuine intentions is what makes dating meaningful.

The next time you agree to go out, ask yourself: are you in it for love—or just lunch?