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Let’s Tell Each Other What’s Working on Here and What Isn’t

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I’ve been on a number of dating sites for some time now. I thought it would be helpful if men and women shared honestly what the other sex tends to do that works or doesn’t work. Here’s mine:

No Picture

That doesn’t work for me. Back in the day, people were apprehensive about putting their picture on the internet. Those days should be long gone by now. In my experience, it usually means the women is overweight but doesn’t own it—in other words, she’s trying to hide it. Be who you are… be yourself.

Irrelevant Pictures

Posting pictures of sunrises and rainbows is a head scratcher. Why are you doing that? Also, group photo’s. Which one is even you?

Bad Pictures

At the very least, post a good close-up face shot and a full body pic. Like I said above, in my experience, women who do not post full body shots are overweight but don’t own it, which I find odd. Lots of men like big women and to me, purposely hiding it is a form of lying. Throw out there who you really are. I’m no male model, but I feel a woman wants to know, and has the right to know, what I really look like upfront. Truth in advertising, lol! Pictures from a distance, in bulky ski clothes etc. are fine if you also have the above. The point of pictures is so the viewer can see if they are attracted to you. Nothing is gained from hiding who you are. It just makes for some serious awkwardness later.

Profile Text

No one wants to write or read a book. But finding someone that is a “fit” is hard. At least write enough about yourself that gives the viewer an idea on who you are, what you’re looking for in someone and what you seek i.e. long-term relationship. I know ladies, most men do read the profiles, but some of us do. It’s important. Taking the time to write a meaningful profile also tells others you are serious.

Be honest.

I did the absolute best I could in my profile to write truth (not sure how well I did it, lol). I want someone to be interested in the real me, not a fake one.

List any absolute deal breakers in the profile.

I got down the road in the process with someone only to find out she didn’t date people of my political persuasion. If it’s an absolute must or must not, put it prominently in the profile. Otherwise it’s a big time waster.

Be Responsive

If you are looking to date casually, that’s different. But for those of us on here looking for “the one,” we look for signs that you are also serious. Waiting several days to respond doesn’t send that message. If I’m interested in someone, I do the best I can to respond back to them by the next day. Otherwise, there’s no continuity—you keep forgetting what the other person is about.

Contribute to the Conversation

Nothing is worse than some one messaging you back and simply answering your question or giving you a one-liner like “yes.” Well, I guess just getting a smiley face tops that. Those types of responses say that you are either not very interested or have no personality.

Move the Process Along

Most people on the site aren’t looking for a pen pal. I look to message a few times on the app, text for a day or two, then talk on the phone a couple times and then meet. In my experience, extending things out much more than that doesn’t do anything but establish basic compatibility (friendship.) Meeting in person is what tells you if there is a spark to the friendship that allows you to move to the dating level. T

his is just my two cents. What are your experiences?


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couldn't agree more👌
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Right on!
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In my experience, I try to avoid the "Hey how are you?" type conversations at all costs. They're almost guaranteed to fizzle out quickly. Instead, I try asking a question that shows I read their profile and tells me something about them.
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Tip - just go out and you'll meet as many women as you have balls enough to talk to. Online dating doesn't work.