Member's Blog > Looking for Love is like looking for a new home...

Looking for Love is like looking for a new home...

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1 year ago

My last home took almost two years of serious looking to find.  The work online and with actual viewings was a big part of my day. I finally walked into my new home and knew there was that something that resonated with me.  I quietly looked around and ask the Realtor to stop talking and let me concentrate.  


With  the above being said I should be putting the same amount of effort into finding a nice guy.  One that gets me and I get him.  I already support family and friends financially so with that being said I don't need to be someone else's ATM.

Cruel maybe but I think that if you have made your own way in this world the last thing is to have someone who comes to the table without his own play money. 

Continue to window shop but don't waste the salesperson's time if you are looking for something free.

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1 year ago
I agree 100% with you!
The problem is that this site charges higher than others for you to be in it because they state they verify people’s ID and they actually don’t.
90% of the profiles I checked, neither pictures or email addressed were verified.

If they don’t make the effort of doing that forget finding proof that, as you say, they currently are succeeding at supporting themselves and have planned ahead for their retirement years.
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It feels not "nice" to think about finances in dating, but I share your concerns about some of this.


There are two issues to me. First, can the (potential) spouse pay for their current living expenses? Second, do they have enough savings/pension/children able to help/etc. to live comfortably into retirement and old age?  There are a lot of nice, hardworking people who are succeeding at #1 but are behind for their age on getting to #2. Some people haven't even given much thought to what they might need to have saved for retirement. A big problem is that if you only date people with a comfortable retirement nest egg, you're eliminating most of the dating pool, possibly including your "soul mate," whatever that means to you. Of course, some people have enough wealth that they can easily pay for themselves and a spouse with no problem, so they can do whatever they want.


So how much "play money" is enough? A good independent or assisted living place costs roughly $6,000 per month where I live, probably more in some cities. That's $72K per year. Let's say $80K including some expenses, and let Social Security and Medicare pay for anything more than that. A common rule of thumb is that if you should spend no more than 5% of your net worth each year on living expenses to avoid running out. So to be sure of paying $80K per year no matter how long you live, you would have to have $1.6 million. If you can't reach a number like that by, say, age 70, then you run some long-term financial risks.


At the other end of the spectrum, I am a volunteer for elderly people who have various disabilities and no money. I admire their attitudes but it's a rough life.