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In the Real World

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1 year ago

....this morning I was looking through the selection of people in my area.....Oh here is someone in my age group and relatively close....hmmm he has a gut and doesn't know how to dress and has posted pictures of which some are at least 20 years old but being the forgiving person that I am, I'm looking further into his wants and needs.  He is looking for someone between 30-50 years old, slim, trim and athletic.  Did I mention he also had a very obvious comb over?   AND not even a paying member.  Can you make a reservation at McDonalds No, but uber now delivers.
   

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On the issue of estimating the dating prospects of average (or below) men here on MM:

 

I am nothing special here on MM. My pictures are plain selfies, I don't have a diamond by my name, and my profile doesn't brag about wealth or say I'm "generous" to the right woman. My profile doesn't even try hard to be appealing. Yet in the month of August I had six women under 40 wink at me, including some under 30, many in the US. More have favorited me or emailed me. I suspect the men who are more desirable have many more contacts from younger women than this. This is very different from my experiences talking with younger women in the real world. Some of these women may just be scammers but some are not.

 

 haven't responded to any of the younger women other than to catch scammers because I prefer women around my age or older. (not that there's anything wrong with that, to paraphrase Seinfeld).

 

On the other hand, there have been a few attractive older women here whose dating age ranges showed I was under their minimum age. Yet they contacted me looking to have a conversation and possibly meet. I guess they just preferred to contact younger men instead of having younger men contact them. 

 

Some of you may be underestimating how many younger women are on MM looking for older men. If your knowledge of the dating scene comes from your own experiences 20 or more years ago, things may have changed.  I wonder if many of these younger women contacting older men keep this a secret from their young friends.

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Hello
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replying to Author
1 year ago Total posts: 74

I agree that the scales of attraction are totally subjective. That is why I think it is reasonable to expect +/- 2 point margins from self to person of interest regardless of gender. Those points could be compensated in other axes of attraction besides the physical (education, income, etc.). The total sum of whichever variables you consider in mate choosing should overall be equal. Personally, when it comes to variables, I do not judge people on things they can not control. I do prefer tall men, but I would not dismiss a shorter one based on just that. But if someone is not fit, has no class, can't carry a conversation.. that's grounds for automatic dismissal. Those variables are choices.

 

Don't get me wrong, I do not suffer from double standards. If a 55 year old cougar was making sexual advances at her friend's 18 year old son I would find it equally disgusting. But in reality, have you ever been sexually harassed by older women? Do you think that question would have equal responses in reverse?

 

Here is the root of the problem - entitlement. That is what makes a person evil. 

The delusion of overinflated worth and ego and the expectation that one deserves their ideal without having anything to show for it - THAT is the problem here. 

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View author's info
1 year ago
Quoting mactavish:

....this morning I was looking through the selection of people in my area.....Oh here is someone in my age group and relatively close....hmmm he has a gut and doesn't know how to dress and has posted pictures of which some are at least 20 years old but being the forgiving person that I am, I'm looking further into his wants and needs.  He is looking for someone between 30-50 years old, slim, trim and athletic.  Did I mention he also had a very obvious comb over?   AND not even a paying member.  Can you make a reservation at McDonalds No, but uber now delivers.
   

 

 

@mactavish , 

 

Hmmm what a nerve to demand  ??!! I think he is in love 

with himself ..

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Heart and soul is important, nothing else
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So are you saying there's something wrong with considering looks when picking a mate? I'm not sure what factors a "good" man, however you define that term, is allowed to consider when choosing someone to date or marry. If it's okay to consider looks, then is it wrong for a man who's, say, a 5 on looks, to contact a woman who's an 8 or 9? Should he only contact other 5s or below? With age difference, what is the age range beyond which a man turns evil? Does a woman ever become evil by contacting men outside a certain age range? 

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replying to Author
1 year ago Total posts: 74

Of course. Don't you think allowing him to suffer from his delusions is more cruel?

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1 year ago

Gosh....if not for woman being so forgiving a limited number of guys would ever get that first date....That does not apply to men though...It's all about your figure, your face and lastly if you have passed those roadblocks it gets to your character and personality.  A divorce lawyer once told me that no matter how beautiful a gal is there is always someone out there that has grown tired of the purchase and no longer wants to pay the mortgage on her.   THAT is why it is so important for girls to make their own way in life both financially and otherwise for there own protection.    

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Yep. I get the same thing. Ugh
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Ha.....very good..lol
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View author's info
1 year ago
Wow, you guys are harsh! I had to change my 1st date info, because I was yelled at by a woman who wanted to be wisked away on a first date. (airplane ride and all) All I am saying is that there are over inflated egos and expectations on both sides. Enjoy life and find someone that makes you feel good inside for being you!
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View author's info
1 year ago
Yep. 🙄
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🤣yes, The_Universe!! lol
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lol 😝
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Your tagline says, "kind and caring to the people around you." Do you think this post is kind and caring to your subject?  

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Bad news: Men with overinflated egos have very unrealistic expectations.

Good news: We all know that their worst fear is women laughing at them... so lets use that.

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So true