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A Big Change....

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1 year ago
 

So I have decided after 20 years that I am going to return back to my hometown of New York City for good. These last 20 years of living and traveling around the U.S. and the world for that matter, have allowed me to see things in a different light. To be able to experience other cultures, and meet people from practically everywhere has been fun for me. But at this point in my life it's time for me to come back home. I think this is why honestly alot of people cannot relate to me. Because I have seen and done so much in my earlier years that things are starting to become a little boring to me now. The whole "been there, done that. And that, and that" scenario. Because I had to grow up when I was not supposed to. Got married at 19, had a daughter at 20, lived on my own and being self-sufficient since I was 16. Was able to live my dream of joining the military and fixing electrical systems in jets. And also graduate from college. Even the 10 years I spent living as a nomad going to different countries in Europe. So I'm forced to challenge myself to try and do and experience things that I have not done before. I have been in control of mostly everything I have done in my life. That is why I need to be in a relationship where for once, a woman who will take charge and be the provider. Not because I want to be emasculated, but because I really have to see what to not be in control looks like. I'm still not going to forsake my chivalry, ethics, morality, and integrity as a man, I'll still be the protector and I'll have my career because I'll never give that up. I love my job too much. I have just never believed in old-fashioned gender roles. Maybe it's because of watching my mother and sisters not be dainty, and too girly-girl, and not wishing that someone would come into in their life, rescue them, protect them, provide for them, etc.  Even my mom told me once that she saw in me that I would not date a woman who was not as financially successful as I was. Only because I hold high standards for myself and the people around me. And it really does bother me when I see people who do not live up to their potential. And my mother is a lesbian. I'm not scared to say it. What better woman to get advice from a woman who dates other women? And thinking that as adults, women should be well along by now to be worth their own salt on this earth. Asking to have someone in my life who makes equal or more money than I do, and actually wants to settle down at this point in their life is not much to ask for. I think that's why it annoys me just a little when some women scream about how they need no partner in their life, but yet are also the first ones complaining that they have no significant other in their lives. Sorry for being too direct. That is just how I am. Apparently, "I'm too intense", according to someone. Why? because I have exact expectations for what I know the type of woman I want to have around me, and I'm just blunt, direct, and uncompromisingly honest about it? If that is the case, then maybe I should lie, and concede what I know is the right person for me...... Nah.
 

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1 year ago
Way too long but i deade



Way too long but i did read it all till the end😊