Member's Blog > Am I entirely wrong for what I believe in?

Am I entirely wrong for what I believe in?

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1 year ago

I actually cannot believe that I'm writing a blog. My daughter actually is the one who pushed me to do this. She says that I have too many thoughts on things and that I should express them more. To be honest, most of the time I keep my mouth shut because I have been told before that even though it's a positive characteristic, being too honest can be a bad thing as well. I have never been subtle, always direct, to the point, and very straight-forward. I just think that you cannot want people to be honest, and then get mad about the way it comes out. I'll put it this way, as long as I'm not cursing at you, or belittling you in the process, there should not be any reason to get mad at what I have to say. Anyways, that is a different topic for a different day.


Onto the reason why I'm posting this blog. I was chatting with my daughter and her friend on Skype (they are both going into their Junior year in college) yesterday. And my daughter just asked me why I have been single for going on 5 years now. And I just flat out stated that I refuse to settle now. And she flat out asked me what type of woman grabs my attention. I answered the question very directly. I informed her that the following things is what I am looking for in a future partner:


1. She has to be older than me (I have always been attracted to older women because of the grace and maturity they carry. But unfortunately I have never had a chance to date or be in a serious relationship with a older woman. Mainly because I settled for what I thought was less).


2. She has to have older children as in teenagers or young adults as I am past the raising young children stage in my life. Also I would like to meet a woman whom like me, has a bit more freedom in doing the things that she wants to do. I am in the position where I pretty much control every aspect of my day. I'm a freelance IT tech, I work from home, and I make my own schedule. So I would like to meet a woman who does not have too many commitments to other people besides children. That way we can see each other regularly, not once every 4 weeks for just 2 hours.


These first 2 things she understood. It's the next 1 she did not.


3. I'm attracted to a woman who to be quite frank is smarter and more financially successful than I am. My daughter did not understand this because she stated "Dad, you're an engineer by degree, and a IT tech by profession. Plus you study things, alot. You pursue knowledge just for the sake of knowledge. You challenge yourself to learn something even when you are food shopping or doing laundry. That's going to be difficult to find someone who can deal with that, much less try to teach you something that you do not know or not get mad because you happen to be right 8 out of 10 times. Some women are intimidated by that". I told her that "There's plenty of things I do not know. I don't claim to be Stephen Hawking". (RIP Professor)


As far as the money aspect, she originally thought I was looking for a "sugar momma" (I honestly hate that phrase), until I had to explain to her that's it not about the money. I have been on my own since I was 14. I am a very independent and self-sufficient (there is a difference between the 2) man. I value a woman who makes more than I do, (and I have a career) because it tells me about her character, integrity, and commitment to bettering herself FOR herself. Also, I believe that it ties in with intellect as well. And I'm an echypnophile. I'm romantically attracted to a woman who is smarter. Sapiophile means that you are just sexually attracted to a person with intellect and is actually the slang word of echypnophile.


I do get alot of negativity about my preferences when it comes to dating. "Women should not be making more than men are" "You're not a real man" "Don't you want to provide for your woman?" "You have no pride"  and the usual Sugar Momma scenario. Which I will admit that living in Tijuana, Mexico, it is a bit of a conservative city and alot of financially successful women here are being treated like dirt because they are not confining to supposed "gender roles". I just do not believe in them. I just believe that every couple is different and screw what society says what gender roles should be. 


As far as for the providing part, who says that I will not provide for her?  And I'm not talking about just sexually either. Just because I will not make more than her does not mean that I will not provide in my own way. I have WAAY too much pride to sit around and do nothing.


So I just trying to get some thoughts on whether or not I am wrong for for what I believe in.