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Member's Blog > Rmac22's blogs > You have met the one.

You have met the one.

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Quoting rmac22:

 

What ever they asked for I counted.  Some might be superficial, some not.  Depends a bit on the wisher.  Superficial to me might be crucial to her. 

 

 

 

Thanks for the comment. 

 

Hi rmac22: Just curious while counting are both able to relax and enjoy each other's company ?
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Quoting Gentlebreeze2016:

As the 20 are a wish list (superficial) one can ignore the 7 not part of the 20 and look for the deep stuff- the items that really matter-the deal breakers. If the remaining 13  tick the deep stuff list then one is on to a winner.

 

What ever they asked for I counted.  Some might be superficial, some not.  Depends a bit on the wisher.  Superficial to me might be crucial to her. 

 

 

 

Thanks for the comment. 

 

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As the 20 are a wish list (superficial) one can ignore the 7 not part of the 20 and look for the deep stuff- the items that really matter-the deal breakers. If the remaining 13  tick the deep stuff list then one is on to a winner.

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Quoting fairycurls:


For me a red flag is a negative quality (bad habits, health, temper, credit, morals, values etc). Things that tell you that a relationship with him/her will never work or be happy and healthy. Things you should avoid and never seek. 

 Agreed, I guess I added to the list things that would cause seeking a LTR a waste of time for both of us.  She really likes to do xxx and I know that I really hate to do XXX. 

  

Not saying that those kind of red flags would be a moral or character flaw on her part.  Just different tastes and emphasis. 

  

Irreconcilable no, not if compromise is possible.  So it would entail some degree of assessment based on what she wrote in her profile. 

 

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Quoting Maryclaire2000:


 

DIANA , 

 

There were victims I have met but I couldn't believe it that it happened to them ..Most of them are in the 40's - 50's , people who are single for a long time and longing for love and they found it in the make believe Cyber world thru the scammers and opportunist ..It was prevalent in the 80's and 90's ..

 

 

Mary,

Yes, I know....so sad.  But hopefully more people are hearing about these scammers and don't fall prey as easily these days.  This is one reason I value the blogs so much on this website!  There have been several blogs about this topic warning others.  Once I read one, which described regularly used tactics by scammers and mine fit the profile exactly!  If I had been on a site like this one where members communicate with each other, perhaps I might have been alerted that these guys (and gals) exist.

 

 

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Quoting rmac22:

I have used the term red flags too.  I have read the list of must haves and wondered if I don't have that attribute or want to do that activity is that a red flag for her.  In some instances excessive emphasis on something not first on my personal list of favorite things can be a red flag for me.   

 

For me a red flag is a negative quality (bad habits, health, temper, credit, morals, values etc). Things that tell you that a relationship with him/her will never work or be happy and healthy. Things you should avoid and never seek. 
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Quoting funtimes0007:


 

I will agree and for a smart woman like you that might be possible but some men are amazing con artists. Now a day's women are not behind in this game. Equality at its best!

 

Now how should a man test out woman real intentions towards him? What I find very interesting is that when I introduce a new GF to my female friends, they are suspicious of that girl intentions day1 without even knowing anything about her. Why is that? On the other hand, a guy friend just wants to go out with all of us and get drunk :)

Are you talking about "testing" if a man/woman loves you or not, or if he/she wants to con you or not? There's a (huge) difference.  
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1 year ago
Quoting Diana3316:

It's kinda funny now. But seriously, who wires money to a man overseas that you have never met????  Does that really happen?  *sigh*

 

DIANA , 

 

There were victims I have met but I couldn't believe it that it happened to them ..Most of them are in the 40's - 50's , people who are single for a long time and longing for love and they found it in the make believe Cyber world thru the scammers and opportunist ..It was prevalent in the 80's and 90's ..

 

 

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Quoting funtimes0007:

@rmac - I like your style of interrogation..polite and classic :)

Thanks,

 

You need to be polite if you want any hope of getting answers.  If you like the person you need even more to be polite.   

 

 

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Quoting rmac22:


Thank you.  That's kind of what I thought. 

 

Sorry about the scammer, not a happy ending.  However, happy that you were not scammed.  Dead give away when they get angry and abusive.  They really do hate it when their prey gets away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's kinda funny now. But seriously, who wires money to a man overseas that you have never met????  Does that really happen?  *sigh*
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Quoting fairycurls:

Compromising is important but you've got to draw the line somewhere... and for me it's between "flaws and imperfections" and "red flags". I'd definitely date someone with flaws and imperfections, but I would not date someone with red flags. 

I have used the term red flags too.  I have read the list of must haves and wondered if I don't have that attribute or want to do that activity is that a red flag for her.  In some instances excessive emphasis on something not first on my personal list of favorite things can be a red flag for me.   

 

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Quoting Diana3316:

RMac,

 

Re:  The hooks

 

He amuses me:  This is something I notice immediately. It's not that he is a jokester all the time, providing a steady stream of one liners. Generally it's a cleverness and a subtle but quick wit, which often charms me. This is not something a man can 'try' to do. Have you ever had someone say something to you in such a way that it is totally hilarious and unoffensive....but someone else may say close to the same thing and you want to sock him?  Some men just have that innate charm and a quick wit which often signals intellect to a women and captures her attention. 

 

I like/respect him:  This is something which develops over time. That's were you start loading the scale. Are there too many red flags or just 3 or 4 flaws?  Are there acts of kindness, generosity, understanding which tip the scales to counter the flaws?  You can start to assess/determine his character based on his behavior. Things just start to add up. It happens over time, but the more you've been around...the better and quicker you get at judging. Additionally, men often define themselves by and with their jobs. Similarly, I think women sometimes define men by their work.  There can be a difference between a man's job and his work. If a man builds stuff, teaches/heals or helps others....for me, his status is elevated...especially if he is really good/successful at his work. Couple that with a kind heart.... Then respect and admiration are starting to set in. I can't fall in love without it. 

 

 

Re: The scammer

It was very early in my internet dating experience. I'd never met him but over a period of about 4 months (these guys are very patient) I was pretty sure I had met The One. He sent maybe 20 pictures...young through older. We made plans to meet just as soon as he returned from an overseas business trip. I was on a business trip too when the call came that he had been mugged and all his money stolen. He only needed $10,000 to get home. It got very nasty, including threats when I refused to wire the money!  Duh! I was devastated and cried uncontrollably the whole night. My eyes were almost swollen shut the next day and I was miserable. I felt like such a fool and a sucker!!  I just wish I knew who's picture that was he used. THAT guy was really, really HOT!!!  Haha  Not the first time I was made a fool of and likely not the last....but never like that again!

Thank you.  That's kind of what I thought. 

 

Sorry about the scammer, not a happy ending.  However, happy that you were not scammed.  Dead give away when they get angry and abusive.  They really do hate it when their prey gets away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Quoting funtimes0007:


How about pretending to be in love like some man do just to test the waters? True colors should reveal pretty fast. No? I am curious what kind of tests most women apply when trying to figureout a man really loves her or not.

Testing is not necessary. You just listen to what the guy says (if it's BS or real or not), and then watch if his actions match his words. If a guy likes (or loves) you, his words will be real and his actions will match them. 
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1 year ago
Quoting 3345roc:

Geez MC, I guess I have to pay more attention to the news.  I drove from Nurnberg to three of the Nordic countries... Denmark, Sweden and Norway.  When did they move Austria up there and where did they plop it down, in the middle of the Baltic Sea?

 

@Dak

If you want to meet some Nordic women in Austria I'd suggest Vienna in the summer or Innsbruck in the winter, as some might be there on holiday.  An outdoor cafe in Vienna with a pitcher of beer and a schinken butter brot or at  the lodge in Innsbruck with a mug of Gluhwein.

 

One thing I've noticed about women, regardless of where they're from or what languages they speak, they're like snowflakes, no two are alike.  I'd suggest you discard the labels and enjoy the differences, that's when the fun begins.

 

@MC.. Do they still have a Mozart Festival in Salzburg?

 

ROC ,

 

Definitely not ..Austria is not plopped down in Baltic Sea .. 

Now we have to go back to the History ..Heard about Arlberg Pass ? Its the most dangerous Pass in Europe .. when they built it they hired workers from the Nordic countries which begunn the race pollination thus their influence from building houses to the furnitures " which they call Nordic flair " ..At present one can reach the Nordic Ski mountains from Innsbruck with a Train or hired Car ..

 

About the Mozart Festival , Yes they still do it yearly on Mozarts Bday ..

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1 year ago
Quoting funtimes0007:


How about pretending to be in love like some man do just to test the waters? True colors should reveal pretty fast. No? I am curious what kind of tests most women apply when trying to figureout a man really loves her or not.

 

I never went that far yet to test a man but I can share some

according to my experiences such as , words and actions must work together , the distance play a great role - that is if a man comes to see me without  being asked for it , if a man does everything in his power to make me happy , last but not the least if a man takes me as I am withall my flaws and imperfections ..

 

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RMac,

 

Re:  The hooks

 

He amuses me:  This is something I notice immediately. It's not that he is a jokester all the time, providing a steady stream of one liners. Generally it's a cleverness and a subtle but quick wit, which often charms me. This is not something a man can 'try' to do. Have you ever had someone say something to you in such a way that it is totally hilarious and unoffensive....but someone else may say close to the same thing and you want to sock him?  Some men just have that innate charm and a quick wit which often signals intellect to a women and captures her attention. 

 

I like/respect him:  This is something which develops over time. That's were you start loading the scale. Are there too many red flags or just 3 or 4 flaws?  Are there acts of kindness, generosity, understanding which tip the scales to counter the flaws?  You can start to assess/determine his character based on his behavior. Things just start to add up. It happens over time, but the more you've been around...the better and quicker you get at judging. Additionally, men often define themselves by and with their jobs. Similarly, I think women sometimes define men by their work.  There can be a difference between a man's job and his work. If a man builds stuff, teaches/heals or helps others....for me, his status is elevated...especially if he is really good/successful at his work. Couple that with a kind heart.... Then respect and admiration are starting to set in. I can't fall in love without it. 

 

 

Re: The scammer

It was very early in my internet dating experience. I'd never met him but over a period of about 4 months (these guys are very patient) I was pretty sure I had met The One. He sent maybe 20 pictures...young through older. We made plans to meet just as soon as he returned from an overseas business trip. I was on a business trip too when the call came that he had been mugged and all his money stolen. He only needed $10,000 to get home. It got very nasty, including threats when I refused to wire the money!  Duh! I was devastated and cried uncontrollably the whole night. My eyes were almost swollen shut the next day and I was miserable. I felt like such a fool and a sucker!!  I just wish I knew who's picture that was he used. THAT guy was really, really HOT!!!  Haha  Not the first time I was made a fool of and likely not the last....but never like that again!

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1 year ago
Quoting funtimes0007:


Nordic women :) Yes they are indeed very beautiful.

 

You should visit Austria. You will have a great time there.

 

FUNTIMES , 

 

You bet ..I know my people ..Austria is smaller than Germany but I love their mentality ..open , friendly and funny ..and the 

Vienna dialect is quite weird but that gives them a kick to be different from the Germans ..the women ..besides Russia , and Yugoslavia , they are beautiful .. 

 

Have you been to Salzburg ? Remember the film Sound of Music ..the Castle and the Garden is still there ..

 

Dakota will not be sorry  to visit Austria ...

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1 year ago
Quoting rmac22:


Hi Diana,

  

I agree, I think compromise is necessary. 

  

Now these hooks as you call them. 

 

First that he amuses you / makes you laugh.  Is this that he sets out to amuse you or that he just does?  Is this a deliberate action on his part or just that he makes you happy just by his presence, manner of speaking, outlook on the world?  Do you notice this right off?  Or does it build up as you get to know each other?    

  

Second  respect:  Most men require that from “the one” or they won’t think she loves them.  Is this right away or Is that something that develops as part of the dating process? 

  

How can someone be dating you, be crazy about you, and scam you all at the same time.  Was he just a good actor?

 

RMAC , 

 

That is the pitfall of falling in love with scammers ..they only strike back when you fall in love with them because you are weak and vulnerable to be submissive ..

 

 

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Quoting Diana3316:

Hmmm....to answer your question RMac....I will tell you what I do....because I've done it with every significant relationship. I compromise. No man is perfect and neither am I. Obviously that probably hasn't worked out that well, but I have no regrets. I've remained friends with each one to this day.  I do mean friends. Even though we've moved on, we still call and check on each other from time to time. 

 

So for me, I guess there are two hooks: first that he amuses me/makes me laugh and second I like/respect him. From there it's a matter of physical chemistry if the relationship progresses to more than friends.   

 

Ooops forgot....I did meet one guy once who I thought was absolutely perfect!  He was the most beautiful human I had ever seen.  He was crazy about me and I him.  No compromise required!!!  Unfortunately he turned out to be a scammer!!  :(  Lololo *wink*

Hi Diana,

  

I agree, I think compromise is necessary. 

  

Now these hooks as you call them. 

 

First that he amuses you / makes you laugh.  Is this that he sets out to amuse you or that he just does?  Is this a deliberate action on his part or just that he makes you happy just by his presence, manner of speaking, outlook on the world?  Do you notice this right off?  Or does it build up as you get to know each other?    

  

Second  respect:  Most men require that from “the one” or they won’t think she loves them.  Is this right away or Is that something that develops as part of the dating process? 

  

How can someone be dating you, be crazy about you, and scam you all at the same time.  Was he just a good actor?

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Hmmm....to answer your question RMac....I will tell you what I do....because I've done it with every significant relationship. I compromise. No man is perfect and neither am I. Obviously that probably hasn't worked out that well, but I have no regrets. I've remained friends with each one to this day.  I do mean friends. Even though we've moved on, we still call and check on each other from time to time. 

 

So for me, I guess there are two hooks: first that he amuses me/makes me laugh and second I like/respect him. From there it's a matter of physical chemistry if the relationship progresses to more than friends.   

 

Ooops forgot....I did meet one guy once who I thought was absolutely perfect!  He was the most beautiful human I had ever seen.  He was crazy about me and I him.  No compromise required!!!  Unfortunately he turned out to be a scammer!!  :(  Lololo *wink*