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Does Divorce Lead To Divorce? ūüíĒ (And more thoughts) ūüíě

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I found this in the forums and it hasn't been commented on in years, and the author who posted it currently has a hidden profile.  Perhaps he's found an amazing relationship. I hope so for him, and that he beats the divorce statistics. 💞

 

Personally, my parents have been married for 54 years, and I was raised to look at marriage as a lifelong commitment. Some divorces are for very valid reasons, while others don't take marriage seriously from the start. 

Personally, I've never been married, but dodged a bullet a few times before taking that big leap of faith. Oh where, oh where has my Mr Right been hiding? 

 

Interestingly, I looked at patterns of some of the guys that I dated, also coming from parents that were also divorced and wondered the same. Sometimes, even other factors seemed to contribute stemming from how they were raised.  That's by no means a reflection of everyone that's been divorced, or that come from parents that were divorced. I've dated both men that have never been married, as well as men that have been divorced, and not here to judge anyone. 

 

What are your thoughts, experiences, and opinions on the below?  How seriously do you take marriage? Do you consider the below factors before committing?  Do you believe divorce seems less likely if we marry at a certain age? What is your experience with marriage and divorce, and has it changed your views on marrying again?  How many others are there out there like me that have never been married, but aren't against the sanctity of marriage?  What are your best qualities that will help be the glue to sustain a lifelong happy marriage. (I'm not talking super glue to seal the deal forever!😜) 

*********************************************************************************************

 

Why Does Divorce Lead To Divorce?  By Orlando_

 





Is there any hope for divorced people? 
 
The divorce rate for second marriages is 60%, and 73% for third marriages. If your parents were divorced, you're at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they weren't. If your parents married others after divorcing, you're 91 percent more likely to get divorced. 

Source: Nicholas Wolfinger, Understanding the Divorce Cycle, Cambridge University Press, 2005

 




 


 
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Quoting isitfate4unme:

Aww, thank you for the kind words and sentiments.  I've been on ZERO dates from MM, but made some friends.  One I still keep in touch with.  I interact and talk to men every day for boxing, networking, film industry, etc., yet interacting on here seems nearly impossible. Very few men leave comments back when I take the time to do so on their profiles. I guess I don't meet their expectations, as I'm real about my age and who I am.  I don't fit the mold of a trophy wife in their eyes, I guess, nor would I want to.  I'm not sure how they expect to know when they aren't giving us a chance. 

 

I try hard to respond back to comments on the blogs, but sometimes time doesn't permit. I have stayed up till the wee hours of the morning trying. I know on one if my blogs, I got behind while matchmaking boxing cards, but I finally took some time out to at least read what I missed and then leave a comment to everyone.  I believe that's when I heard the name "Hope" brought up, and it probably was by Dak, as he comments often. 

 

My daughter thinks it's a bit amusing that I've never dated anyone on here and now am blogging and at least meeting some interesting, intelligent, great people this way!  She's noticed that many times it's girls, and that I write them back on the blogs.  I told her that it's the women always viewing my profile, too!  I guess I'm invisible to the men!  Lol 

 

Back to your beginning comment, you have a great point, and a bit of a double edged sword.  While it seems nearly impossible to find the right one, beating the statistics once you do, and riding off into the sunset FOREVER, may be the bigger challenge! 

 

Glad to hear that it was a beautiful weekend in Louisiana!  I had some neighbors that moved there back when I was just a teenager.  My daughter and I learned that Louisiana was a big place for filming, as they offered better film incentives than many.  Georgia is the new hot spot lately.  We need to be living in those types of states for her acting.  We like the warmer states, too.  Hoping to cease the right opportunities and get out from where we're at soon! 

 

Best wishes, and a pleasure meeting you on the blogs! 🌹

Hello there lady! 

 

Yes, blogs can be time consuming... 

But something keeps us coming back............

...................... eventually.................

 

I have been soaking up the sun around here about 4 years I think...  

Many interesting people....

 

You stick around long enough you get to know people's personalities fairly well.

Their likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.. political stance. 

 

We basically jabber about everything. 

 

There have been some women bloggers in the past who completely ignore other women bloggers.. It's as if they must feel they will shed the limelight off them to acknowledge other women.. I was glad to see you aren't one of them. Then there are some who blog and ignore everyone.. Those can get extremely irritating, as it takes up space and it's sad to see some crave attention so much they are too self-absorbed to see how desperate and pathetic they are. 

 

But the majority of us are cool.. We gel well together. Sometimes we disagree, but even when it becomes heated.. (and it has and I am certain it will again......esp with election coming up) 

Well, even when people differ and get snippy.... DAKOTA and our beautiful LADY DI always make up! But I'm not one to tattle and mention names..... LoLoL.. 

 

You hang in there.. It's great to have some fresh voices aorund here! 

 

And as for the dating? I personally won't approach a man. It was difficult enough to just wink. I'm just old fashioned and feel men are to take the lead. I'm "hoping" (HA! Now you know where my name comes from!) I'm hoping to have a date this weekend. (Another date site.)

We shall see.. 

 

Don't give up... Just have fun here.. 

 

Let me know if you ever come out this way! I am not from here, but am trying my best to adjust..  ;-) 

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View author's info
1 year ago

 

DEAR FATE , 

 

1st Im sorry and sad about what is happening with your Son ..

Your story had deeply touch my heart ... Yes , I believe in prayers because Im Catholic ... Fate , Im praying with you for him and his wife ..

 

The ever recurring CA ...What kind of CA does she have ??. Yes , there are some cases like that ...it is known ..I could imagine what she is going through ...but I know too that some cases are cured but they change their life totally ...

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Quoting Dakota35:

Most of us that have been here for awhile remember Orlando.  I think he is a professor at some college???  He stopped posting on the blogs after some took issue with something he said, it's been so long I don't even remember.  I was always fine with the guy.

 

As for divorce, I'm pretty sure that a large number of people do not take marriage seriously and get married for the wrong reasons.  Lust is not a good reason, needing someone to take care of you is not a good reason.  Some do not have any idea of the meaning of love, not being selfish, and sacrifice.  Thus when things don't go perfect in the relationship, they are ready to bail.  Many of the morals and religious beliefs that were tied to marriage have been lost.

 

 

So true, Dak!!!  I do believe it's true that many unfortunately don't really know what love is, and there are way too many selfish "Me people" in this world.  Unfortunately, I think man on here are looking for lust instead of love.  How can one really determine by just a few photos and words.  Very few men have even tried to get to know me on here.   I get more women viewing my profile than men.  

 

Very sad that people took issue to something Orlando said. We all are unique and have our own differences of opinion, and any mature adult would realize this and cut the guy some slack. 

 

I was once told, after being cheated on and abused by a man that I had considered marrying, that a man that knew what love was, and was capable of love, would never treat a woman in such way.  I was told that I must first find a man that knows what love is, and to ask him if he knows about Corinthians. 


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Quoting DONTFITMOLD:

My two sence

 

We now live in a society with the mind set of

 

Conspicuous consumption is the spending of money on and the acquiring of luxury goods and services to publicly display economic power—either the buyer's income or the buyer's accumulated wealth

 

and

 

Planned obsolescence  .. the policy of deliberately limiting the life of a product in order to encourage the purchaser to replace it Also called built-in obsolescence

 

Our parents were a generation of joint efforts to overcome the world war times they lived in...A commitment of of a union to overcome all obstacles...ie. our enemies.

 

Times have changed with all the gagets we use that are suppost to make things easier and yet make things more complicated.

 

The womans movement of the 60s gave some freedom of woman to be exposed to more powers to define their lives and I dont believe that men in general changed to keep up with the new woman. Men were left to redefine themselves each to their own with little or no support.

 

referring to the statisics stated...What you have seen is what you get. We live and emmulate what our experiences are... our mentors of a long lasting relationship are few and far between. leaving us all to redefine by our selves...without a guide book

 

 

just saying

 

 

 

Amen! This is so true!!  I watched my parents argue all the time growing up.  But I also watched them raise 5 wonderful children, none that were ever in trouble, and survive all the trials and tribulations, near brushes with death, lay-offs from work, surgeries, vacations, fun times and bad times together and still remain together for over 54 years of marriage. 

 

Times have certainly changed, and so have the ways that we meet one another.  Here we all are resorting to MM, and other avenues that were unheard of back in the day.  A blind date for them, was your friends fixing you up!  

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Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

FATE ,

 

I don't have any idea about actual divorce and Im not sure that it can lead to another divorce ...Is it maybe the chain reactions ?? one example is the late LIZ TAYLOR with her successive divorces ..Is it maybe that people involve lost their capabilities to hold and keep marriages and relationships ??!! 

 

I agree to DAKOTA and DON about the pictures and the messages " we were born in a time wherein broken things have been kept and try to fix it than throw it " ...Throwing things are the centuries we are in now ..but I know that some are still holding to that good old traditions ....we are not yet totally lost ...

Hello Mary, Liz Taylor is a great example. Speaking of, I'm sure much of Hollywood helped to raise the statistics!  

Sadly, my cousin married a famous actor 41 years ago, and it wasn't Hollywood or divorce that was the demise, but cancer.  Now my son has been facing the same. Tomorrow marks one month that he's been married, but today marked the 5th time that his wife has undergone chemo for her cancer that keeps coming back.  Not to mention surgery the first time in addition, and radiation. It's tearing my heart out, as I know that you can't cut out, burn, or poison and expect the cancer to go away, and even if it does, they wind up eventually dying from the toll it takes on the rest of the body. 

 

If you're one that believes in prayer like I do, your prayers would greatly be appreciated. 

 

Thanks, and God Bless! 👼🏻

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Quoting Hoping4Love2000:


Awww.. Thank you much ma'am... 

 

It is such a difficult quest... I am uncertain what is more difficult..

 

 

FINDING

 

 

"the one"

 

OR.....

 

making it last

 

"forever." 

 

Wishing you the best in your future...

 

and BTW.. 

 

KUDOS to you for acknowledging everyone who responds. 

 

Onlookers, TAKE A LESSON... 

 

THIS is how you "bond" with others through blogging. 

 

You ACKNOWLEDGE other people who respond to your blog or comments. 

(Some people have lacked some serious social skills through the years.)

 

KUDOS MY LADY! 

You will do well here... (In blog land.. I've no clue about dating here...) 

In all my years I have been on 2 dates from MM, and met 3 of my buds from blogging.. (One a man... HEY DAKOTA!!) 

 

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!! Weather was beautiful this weekend in Louisiana!!! 

Aww, thank you for the kind words and sentiments.  I've been on ZERO dates from MM, but made some friends.  One I still keep in touch with.  I interact and talk to men every day for boxing, networking, film industry, etc., yet interacting on here seems nearly impossible. Very few men leave comments back when I take the time to do so on their profiles. I guess I don't meet their expectations, as I'm real about my age and who I am.  I don't fit the mold of a trophy wife in their eyes, I guess, nor would I want to.  I'm not sure how they expect to know when they aren't giving us a chance. 

 

I try hard to respond back to comments on the blogs, but sometimes time doesn't permit. I have stayed up till the wee hours of the morning trying. I know on one if my blogs, I got behind while matchmaking boxing cards, but I finally took some time out to at least read what I missed and then leave a comment to everyone.  I believe that's when I heard the name "Hope" brought up, and it probably was by Dak, as he comments often. 

 

My daughter thinks it's a bit amusing that I've never dated anyone on here and now am blogging and at least meeting some interesting, intelligent, great people this way!  She's noticed that many times it's girls, and that I write them back on the blogs.  I told her that it's the women always viewing my profile, too!  I guess I'm invisible to the men!  Lol 

 

Back to your beginning comment, you have a great point, and a bit of a double edged sword.  While it seems nearly impossible to find the right one, beating the statistics once you do, and riding off into the sunset FOREVER, may be the bigger challenge! 

 

Glad to hear that it was a beautiful weekend in Louisiana!  I had some neighbors that moved there back when I was just a teenager.  My daughter and I learned that Louisiana was a big place for filming, as they offered better film incentives than many.  Georgia is the new hot spot lately.  We need to be living in those types of states for her acting.  We like the warmer states, too.  Hoping to cease the right opportunities and get out from where we're at soon! 

 

Best wishes, and a pleasure meeting you on the blogs! 🌹

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Quoting isitfate4unme:

@Hoping4Love2000, very interesting points, and I can see that you "get it."  I'm "hoping4u" that you'll meet someone this time around that "gets it, too."  I can see that you'll hold your end.  May you find someone as worthy and that puts forth the effort and commitment. God Bless and best of luck!  💞👼🏻

Awww.. Thank you much ma'am... 

 

It is such a difficult quest... I am uncertain what is more difficult..

 

 

FINDING

 

 

"the one"

 

OR.....

 

making it last

 

"forever." 

 

Wishing you the best in your future...

 

and BTW.. 

 

KUDOS to you for acknowledging everyone who responds. 

 

Onlookers, TAKE A LESSON... 

 

THIS is how you "bond" with others through blogging. 

 

You ACKNOWLEDGE other people who respond to your blog or comments. 

(Some people have lacked some serious social skills through the years.)

 

KUDOS MY LADY! 

You will do well here... (In blog land.. I've no clue about dating here...) 

In all my years I have been on 2 dates from MM, and met 3 of my buds from blogging.. (One a man... HEY DAKOTA!!) 

 

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!! Weather was beautiful this weekend in Louisiana!!! 

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Quoting Dolcedileche:

Good afternoon all.

 

I enjoyed reading all the comments and could find some truth in each one.  From where I stand I can only opine on what I am and what I perceive.  Family and friends are very precious to me.  I treat them with respect as that's the type of upbringing I had.  

 

Couples worked together to bond (even when they felt like giving up) and their children grew up knowing how a true team worked.  They learned (first) within their  own household and later  in society (school, work, teams).

 

Divorce (or as my social circle calls " D-tangling") is now the norm.  If you are not happy (or searching for perfection), we are now told you deserve to be happy, let go of what is making you unhappy. There's always something bigger and better.  Don't get me wrong I don't proport that anyone stay in a relationship that is physcially or mentally damaging.  However, when you get stuck in a rutt...explore together.  Even at my age, I can always find something new and exciting to explore and research.  Relationships just like life are ever evolving.  Put the relate back into relationship.  It's a ship that sails best when the hull and sails are pointing in the same direction. lol

 

I once heard that a marriage is sorta like your teeth and tongue.  Who amongst us has not bitten our tongue? Does that mean you get rid of your teeth??? Or do you stop and reflect.  Just my random thoughts.  

 

Remain Blessed.

 

Very well said!! I love your analogies!!! Great way to educate others that sadly haven't figured it out, been taught yet, or need a reminder or even a wake up call!! I think we were cut from the same cloth.  Refreshing to see.  You'd make a great relationship counselor! Best wishes! 
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Quoting Hoping4Love2000:

Hmmmm...... 

 

It depends... There are sooooo many variables regarding divorce. 

 

They say if you have ever been in a car accident, you are more likely to be in one than someone who has never been in one. Do I believe that? NO.. But stats have a way of skewing things on their own.

 

I think for me, I am not so much concerned over being "divorce again." I know myself well and know what I need to do if my future marriage ever starts to fail. 

 

I hold more concern over how many more marriages exist where people are not happy. For me, that is much worse than divorcing. At least when we divorce, we grow from the experience. Do some need to work on their marriages more? Absolutely.. But others have just run the gamut til there is nowhere left to run. Face it.. people outgrow each other, or grow apart. In an ideal world divorce would never occur, but there is nothing ideal about this world. It is unrealistic to consider every marriage will make it. People are imperfect, so perfect marriages and happiness cannot be achieved. 

 

I do not know if divorce should legally exist to be more difficult, when half the people who are married today STAY married primarily due to finances. Would it be more effective to make getting married harder? If marriage is to be an institution of God, perhaps marriages should only be limited to those who beleive in the Bible? 

 

Oh, that's right... marriage is not about God so much, but a legal hoop....

Perhaps this is why divorce is so prevelant... 

 

If an act is committed based on law and not God, perhaps it is meant to end in divorce? 

@Hoping4Love2000, very interesting points, and I can see that you "get it." ¬†I'm "hoping4u" that you'll meet someone this time around that "gets it, too." ¬†I can see that you'll hold your end. ¬†May you find someone as worthy and that puts forth the effort and commitment. God Bless and best of luck! ¬†ūüíěūüĎľūüŹĽ
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Hmmmm...... 

 

It depends... There are sooooo many variables regarding divorce. 

 

They say if you have ever been in a car accident, you are more likely to be in one than someone who has never been in one. Do I believe that? NO.. But stats have a way of skewing things on their own.

 

I think for me, I am not so much concerned over being "divorce again." I know myself well and know what I need to do if my future marriage ever starts to fail. 

 

I hold more concern over how many more marriages exist where people are not happy. For me, that is much worse than divorcing. At least when we divorce, we grow from the experience. Do some need to work on their marriages more? Absolutely.. But others have just run the gamut til there is nowhere left to run. Face it.. people outgrow each other, or grow apart. In an ideal world divorce would never occur, but there is nothing ideal about this world. It is unrealistic to consider every marriage will make it. People are imperfect, so perfect marriages and happiness cannot be achieved. 

 

I do not know if divorce should legally exist to be more difficult, when half the people who are married today STAY married primarily due to finances. Would it be more effective to make getting married harder? If marriage is to be an institution of God, perhaps marriages should only be limited to those who beleive in the Bible? 

 

Oh, that's right... marriage is not about God so much, but a legal hoop....

Perhaps this is why divorce is so prevelant... 

 

If an act is committed based on law and not God, perhaps it is meant to end in divorce? 

Members Only

Good afternoon all.

 

I enjoyed reading all the comments and could find some truth in each one.  From where I stand I can only opine on what I am and what I perceive.  Family and friends are very precious to me.  I treat them with respect as that's the type of upbringing I had.  

 

Couples worked together to bond (even when they felt like giving up) and their children grew up knowing how a true team worked.  They learned (first) within their  own household and later  in society (school, work, teams).

 

Divorce (or as my social circle calls " D-tangling") is now the norm.  If you are not happy (or searching for perfection), we are now told you deserve to be happy, let go of what is making you unhappy. There's always something bigger and better.  Don't get me wrong I don't proport that anyone stay in a relationship that is physcially or mentally damaging.  However, when you get stuck in a rutt...explore together.  Even at my age, I can always find something new and exciting to explore and research.  Relationships just like life are ever evolving.  Put the relate back into relationship.  It's a ship that sails best when the hull and sails are pointing in the same direction. lol

 

I once heard that a marriage is sorta like your teeth and tongue.  Who amongst us has not bitten our tongue? Does that mean you get rid of your teeth??? Or do you stop and reflect.  Just my random thoughts.  

 

Remain Blessed.

 

Members Only
View author's info
1 year ago

 

FATE ,

 

I don't have any idea about actual divorce and Im not sure that it can lead to another divorce ...Is it maybe the chain reactions ?? one example is the late LIZ TAYLOR with her successive divorces ..Is it maybe that people involve lost their capabilities to hold and keep marriages and relationships ??!! 

 

I agree to DAKOTA and DON about the pictures and the messages " we were born in a time wherein broken things have been kept and try to fix it than throw it " ...Throwing things are the centuries we are in now ..but I know that some are still holding to that good old traditions ....we are not yet totally lost ...

Members Only
View author's info
1 year ago

My two sence

 

We now live in a society with the mind set of

 

Conspicuous consumption is the spending of money on and the acquiring of luxury goods and services to publicly display economic power—either the buyer's income or the buyer's accumulated wealth

 

and

 

Planned obsolescence  .. the policy of deliberately limiting the life of a product in order to encourage the purchaser to replace it Also called built-in obsolescence

 

Our parents were a generation of joint efforts to overcome the world war times they lived in...A commitment of of a union to overcome all obstacles...ie. our enemies.

 

Times have changed with all the gagets we use that are suppost to make things easier and yet make things more complicated.

 

The womans movement of the 60s gave some freedom of woman to be exposed to more powers to define their lives and I dont believe that men in general changed to keep up with the new woman. Men were left to redefine themselves each to their own with little or no support.

 

referring to the statisics stated...What you have seen is what you get. We live and emmulate what our experiences are... our mentors of a long lasting relationship are few and far between. leaving us all to redefine by our selves...without a guide book

 

 

just saying

 

 

 


Members Only