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Member's Blog > Rmac22's blogs > The trouble with online dating.

The trouble with online dating.

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Quoting author:

Hi RMac,

I'm not sure what it is, but it seems it is getting increasingly difficult for men to hold my attention. If a date is not asked for pretty quickly....I get bored and well on my way to hitting the delete button. So I agree. Don't chat or send lame emails...just meet. 

My sentiments exactly.  Thanks for your input. 
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Online you can preliminary screen and have an idea who you are talking to before you meet in person. But it shouldn't take long time. It's different that you meet somebody in a grocery store. In a grocery store you buy a cat in the bag.

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Hi RMac,

I'm not sure what it is, but it seems it is getting increasingly difficult for men to hold my attention. If a date is not asked for pretty quickly....I get bored and well on my way to hitting the delete button. So I agree. Don't chat or send lame emails...just meet. 

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Quoting author:

 

The Trouble With Online Dating

 

 

 

One of the “so called” experts on “picking up” women said, “Get her number and walk away.  Don’t chat her up, anything you say at that point won’t help you later get a date and may well be used against you.” 

 

 

 

“When you later ask her for a date, just ask her for the date, if she agrees save all the chit chat for when you actually meet.  Anything additional you say at that point won’t help you and may well work against you.  She does not know you yet; wait until you are face to face over coffee, drinks, or dinner for further conversation.” 

 

 

 

How does this apply to online dating – well -- what is the purpose of all the emails, chatting online, and the phone conversations?  It is to rule you out.  Find a reason not to actually meet.  Trouble is, you will be ruled out on limited and possibly misconstrued evidence.  

 

 

 

That may not actually be the perceived purpose, but that is how it works. 

 

 

 

Opinions?

 

Hm...the first thing that comes to mind is: is this a defensive or an offensive tactic? and ultimately, what's the outcome?
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Quoting author:

It is always better to meet a person. E-mails, IM, pictures don't reflect  a

real individual. You want to see emotions, look at eyes , hear voice. Indirect signs give you more information about your partner in personal contact.

Exactly.  Meeting in person is just like you had met in a grocery store line and on the spur of the moment asked her if she would like to go for coffee sometime and to you great delight she said, "yes how about now."  I know I wrote that example from a man's point of view, but you get the idea. 

 

By skipping all the emails, and so forth you meet as you would, had you found each other pre online stuff.   

 

Thanks for the comment

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It is always better to meet a person. E-mails, IM, pictures don't reflect  a

real individual. You want to see emotions, look at eyes , hear voice. Indirect signs give you more information about your partner in personal contact.

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Quoting author:

I'll just have to agree.  

Thanks, it seems the lynching party is warming up.  : - )
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Quoting author:

using your logic, why meet them in a coffee shop after all! Since the purpose of most people is to find a wife or a husband, then why talk to them at all before reaching the altar, pick one and get married first and talk later on!

Actually, I understand perfectly why we all go through this process.  I am just pointing out the down side.  Thanks for your comments. 
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Quoting author:

it's also you rule others out! How do you know the ones you pick won't be just time wasted in a coffee shop?

Meeting a lovely lady is never time wasted.  I tend to like people and to like talking with them.  So we don't always wind up a dating pair.  No biggie.  I really don't like the idea of missing a gem based on flimsy evidence.