Member's Blog > Hiyapdn1's blogs > **In Support of Long Distance-- Here's Why! **
**In Support of Long Distance-- Here's Why! ** Sort by:
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Posted on Tue, Jan 31, 2017 12:33 PM

So many people are set to one location, seeking that forever love within the confines of 100 miles. However, those same people come together and wish to travel the world. Why not seek the freedom of a long distance relationship? With busy work schedules and client dinners, moms who have children and all that goes with it, the traditional dating schedule allows for once a week or every other weekend, anyway..

 

Local dating afforded me the opportunity to have dinner at a restaurant I had already been to with the girls and to meet a man who talked about things I was already familiar with. When the option of more frequent dates came up, our schedules clashed, and we found ourselves in a weekly or bi-weekly pattern, phone, text, and Skype anyway! However, the long distance relationships brought to me a zest, new surroundings, quick weekend trips to see him, new places, different weather, and the excitement of coming together....then parting...which fueled the fire for next time. We were both able to focus on our lives when busy, and flirt each day, planning the next adventure. It was great! 

 

I am all for a distance relationship, until the circumstances are arranged to make it full time and local. However, when you're trying to get to know one another, having some distance breeds a platform upon which the woman and man are forced to learn about the person, his or her interests and lifestyle, before a physical bond is made.  In my mind, two people who really seem intrigued by one another online, share laughs on the phone, and happen to live miles away, really are no different than those who share the same city. The difference is that the man and woman are held to a higher standard, one that speaks to chivalry, respect, the finer things, and a slower paced gratification with distance. 

 

Taking the time to build a friendship, allow him or her to court you, share stories and laughs at a distance, and really learning about the person with whom you have an attraction will bring its own bounty to both parties. The key is to plan ahead. Always have another trip to see each other on the calendar with all travel arrangements set. If expense is an issue, then long distance may not be best unless one of you is able to relocate after the friendship has been established. Knowing your next visit is every two weeks and can last a full weekend, really keeps the flame burning. Nobody is distracted by mundane weekend chores, because he/she knows that this time is special and dedicated to the other. 

 

Thats my input, popular or not. But if you limit yourself to what you already know, there is a chance you're pushing away the very experience you hope to gain! 



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Posted on Sun, Jun 25, 2017 04:42 PM

@funtimes0007 I absolutely love your honesty, candor, and true representation of men out of protection of women! I really do! You are trying to make sure we women are wise and see how critical sex is to ALL men, so we do not enter a distance "love" and get hurt. Thank you, definitely a point to be leary about in all cases. I believe men do need sex as a primal force in their biology. I agree that most women need the sentiment of love more than intercourse.

Also, @funtimes0007 , I want to applaud your statement about a man's willingness to turn the world upside down for the right woman. I LOVE THIS! That will definitely be the man I want ;)


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Posted on Sun, Jun 25, 2017 07:40 AM

Thank you for your input, funtimes0007! Agreed on most accounts. My blog imputes responsibility to the reader and LDR participant that his/her financial, emotional, sexual, personal needs are met by the experience. With so many personalities and desires in an online forum, most agree that the points you have made are subject to consideration by the individual prior to entering a first or second LDR. 

 

In my opinion, financial ability to uphold a LDR is primary. If you or the other party is unable to frequently visit, then LDR is not for you, as stated in my blog. For some people, however, the financial piece is not a problem and many LD relationships last through weekly business travel. The first point to consider in LDR is financial obligation, and this is easy to resolve. 

 

As for your question how far is too far, I would again impute this to the individuals considering LDR. Not one scenario is best case for everyone. For some, a few hour commute instate is enough. For others, a 2 hour flight is reasonable. For most, I would imagine international is too far. Coast to coast is likely a great burden to someone whose life includes children or a career. But again, this is for the individuals to consider, and I am certain nobody looks at LDR before local relationships. 

 

For me, I tried local. The culture simply does not lend itself to a variety of men from which I can choose who also build a life that supports my beliefs, my choices, and my desires in life longterm. Therefore, I am open to a relationship anywhere in the country. At that point, if a person really seems worth the investigation, and he and I have discussed the details above, then I am most likely going to explore the gentleman. 

 

Life takes turns. We all make choices in our day to day life that keeps us in one place or another. Micro choices allow us to maintain a home and neighborhood security. Macro keeps us in one state/location for years to come. These decisions rarely mean that one person is supposed to stay in one place for a lifetime without the freedom to explore. I have lived in two states, the second one longer than the first. For some reason, a person could find him or herself "stuck" in one state or within a radius, and this is all to be considered. 

 

I wish luck and happiness to everyone on MM! I mostly hope that we collectively choose to support OPTIONS. The divorce rate is far too high in this country. Lets try to make better choices for ourselves and work toward a slower process in choosing a mate to better ensure longevity of love. Together, a couple can learn and grow, when patience is the guiding force :)  

 



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Posted on Sat, Jun 24, 2017 07:54 AM

I would love to find some willing to go the extra mile with me.


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Posted on Mon, Jun 19, 2017 08:08 AM

I have to agree with your persepctive here...at this stage in my life my career is winding down as I approcah the springboard into the next phase. Yet for the younger generations your wisdom can be a playbook for a LDR. 


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Posted on Sat, May 27, 2017 02:31 PM

In the past, I found out that long distance relationships did not work. However, I am willing to re-consider. I am able to travel in the summer and enjoy seeing new places.

 

Also, I have found that my relationships work better if I do not live with my man. Keeping our own residence is a good way to keep the fire alive. Not having to negotiate household details makes it possible to get together, perhaps for a few days, and enjoy each other's company.



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Posted on Wed, May 17, 2017 07:00 PM

Whole heartedly agreed!!!!

Long distance relationships rock.

More freedom, less drama.

 

xx



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Posted on Tue, May 09, 2017 09:58 PM

On a purely platonic footing, not a problemo Hiyapdn1 as the only connection is friendship based, where the situation changes is on an intimate plain, peoples expectations of the un-expected become greater, the more intimate people are in the virtual presence, they eventually want the reality to manifest outside the walls.  That to is not an issue because after-all if you make such a connection, your intentions are to take the next step meeting face to face to evaluate what you had online is actually what you expected from one another offline eventually,  you can only truly gauge that by living in that moment.

 

So you have to be honest from the out-set and state your intentions, rather than lead somebody into a false sense of security, therefore allowing it to truly work if you finally make that connection looking across the table from one another and not glaring down a camera lens.

 

It is a mute point for some as they have the means to do so without hesitation and take a drive or catch a plane, others know they are not in such a position to just drop everything and therefore don't even go down that road as it well only end in sadness, but if you're ready to embark upon a journey in the first instance knowing you well eventually meet up, then i see no harm in such a long distance relationship, it can be fun, rewarding and add a new lease of life, just both be on the same page whatever you decide.



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Posted on Sat, May 06, 2017 01:25 PM

Such an interesting read .



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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2017 09:04 PM

Hello! I am so happy you replied. I agree with all you said, and it is interesting that you wish to date outside of your area to remain private and to keep what you have out of the picture. love it! Thank you!


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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2017 09:01 PM

I wish I could read the comment that was lost! thanks for writing.....I appreciate your input


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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2017 08:52 PM

What a perfect perspective.  Thanks so much for sharing. I do not date locally for a few reasons, one being I just do not have an interest or find men locally up for any adventure and I want to date someone that is interested in me and not what I have. Living in a small town, everyone know everything. 

 

I too believe a long distance relationship would keep it adventurous and spontaneous; the fun of missing each other and suspense of the next long weekend together, would keep it fun. Although, I would not be interested in more than 2-1/2 hours away from each other, so that we could still be within driving distance to spend weekends together at each others home location. In my case, owning my own business allows me flexibility to drive to the guy I am dating, and would not be a problem. If we both are able to afford "running away" together every once in awhile, that's what life is all about. Enjoying it as much as possible. I feel that if I would be in a long distance relationship and it becomes obvious that we are meant for each other, I would definately be willing to relocate if I met the love of my life.  It's not a game, it's reseaching to find that "best friend" that you than realize you want to be with always. 

 

Again, thank you for your post. I have been reviewing this particular subject in my mind for the past month. I believe if you find the love of your life, it is worth the time you put into the relationship.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 23, 2017 12:34 AM

Well said, and I echo your sentiments. I lost the rest of my comment and too tiired to re-write.


Isitfate4unme

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Posted on Mon, Mar 27, 2017 05:08 PM

Hello!! ☆☆ Thank you for the comment! ♡


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Posted on Mon, Mar 27, 2017 12:50 AM

I am all for long distance as I want a travel partner to share things with. Meeting up and going on tour or other is a thrill in itself.



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Posted on Sat, Mar 25, 2017 08:20 AM

This is all great input! I have a different experience, at least for myself. I am in a position to travel to wherever a man is, providing expenses are discussed ahead of time and the location is domestic. I love to see new places and travel in my free time. So, I rarely ask the man to come to me....but that would change the more serious our relationship grew. Thank you for your input! Now that I am no longer a gold member, emails are required for communication. This makes it harder to meet people!


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Posted on Sat, Mar 25, 2017 08:17 AM

love your comment. thank you!


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Posted on Sat, Mar 25, 2017 08:13 AM

I traveled to Texas every other month, or to Vegas, for 3 yrs for an Xgfriend. We met in other areas too for short trips to be together which was fun and added to adventures. Distance doesn't become an issue until insecurity or lack of direction sets in. 

Traveling is also a 2-way street and has to be. A woman who beleives that her man has to come to her always needs a reality check and to reserve her place in the single-forever condomimium!!! Perhaps not at first, I get that and have traveled to many places to have dinner and go out, then flew back the following day. But after that then its time to talk parity, and perhaps meeting in a great place like Vegas does have its advantages! 

The woman in Hawaii, I see her point for a couple reasons. Unlike traveling around the USA going there is never inexpensive! So someone that goes there definitely has to have the desire to be on both sides to do so. Which is why a great neutral meeting place (like Vegas) is a great thing because most areas of the USA have airlines that travel there chepaer than it is to go to some other cities due to the sheer volume. 

Something to think about !!



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Posted on Thu, Mar 23, 2017 02:01 PM

Quoting hiyapdn1:

Great input, and we all have a unique perspective. If both parties agree to a long distance relationship, finances must also be available or it will not be successful. Travel to see your companion is critical. In addition, as you mentioned, a great deal of trust and work goes into this, but I have been happy to exert all I can to the right friendship as it develops over time :) Thank you for your input!


I guess all the comments support the saying "where there is a will there is a way".  



Carpe diem

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Posted on Mon, Mar 20, 2017 08:07 AM

Great input, and we all have a unique perspective. If both parties agree to a long distance relationship, finances must also be available or it will not be successful. Travel to see your companion is critical. In addition, as you mentioned, a great deal of trust and work goes into this, but I have been happy to exert all I can to the right friendship as it develops over time :) Thank you for your input!


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