Member's Blog > Removed_HerRoyalMajesty_128741096's blogs > Be cool. Chill out.
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Posted on May 13, 2017 at 02:10 AM

Often times when pursuing a relationship with someone that we really adore, we women have a tendency to be clingy. But that runs men away. 

If you want to keep his interest, be busy. Don't be too available. Definitely do not sit around waiting for him to call. And I demand that you don't call him every 10 minutes. Chill.

 Always being available comes across as you being needy and not having a life. Case in point. So this brother who is on assignment in a foreign country met me two years ago on an airplane. He was so buff and masculine that I felt safe even though he was eight entire rows ahead of me! I knew he protected somebody for a living and I imagined it was ME. I mean, with arms so big he could engulf my entire body and with legs so strong, that I daydreamed that they'd soon be wrapped around me, he had to be some sort of trained ASSASSIN. At least, I had hoped so. 

I was imagining him doing all sorts of stunts and hits on bad men and then coming home to make mad, passionate, crazy, intense love to me on top of the kitchen table covered with delicious, sauces and dirty dishes from a nice romantic dinner. I imagined him spinning me around and tossing me up in the air, slamming me on the table and.....well, you get the picture. 

I was on some real Mr. and Mrs Smith type sh*t. 

And as creepy as that seemed, it turned me the hell ON! So anyways, as we stepped out of the airplane and onto the train, I tilted my head to the right...and with my damsel in distress light brown eyes, I stared into his serious gaze. Then, parting my lips slowly as if I was opening my mouth to engulf his thick, juicy, full lips, I spoke. 

"Sir, sir," I called out softly, almost whispering, "would you please help me. I have four bags and I can't seem to carry them all by myself. They are just too heavy for me." I batted my eye lids and released one single tear from the corner of my right eye.

(Yeah, I'm a drama Queen. So, bite me. Or lick me. Whatever floats ya boat).

Then I bit my bottom lip and awaited his response. 

He could barely pay attention and tripped over his shoe laces as he ran to my aid like a five year old kid running toward the ice cream truck. 

I lifted my head up and gazed into his eyes as if to say, "Come hither, my want this...." In one swoop, he grabbed all four of my bags and threw them over his shoulder. 

Safe inside the train and exhausted from my near-death experience of carrying four heavy bags, I rested my head upon my soldiers shoulders as we stood on the train and traveled to our destination.

Well that little encounter two years ago left him wanting more. Over the course of two years he would call me here and there, but I never stayed on the phone long. I always kept the conversation brief and ended the conversation first. 

There were times he would call and I would simply not be available. I was not playing games. I just had a life.

So fast forward two years and he calls when he gets back to the States. We chat, but I keep it brief, except for once when we first got reconnected. 

We caught up and I got off the phone and tended to my life as if we had never reconnected. I did not bother him or text or call or wonder what he was doing. I went about my days as usual. 

He, on the other hand, grew restless. 

In his impatience, he sent a text, "You must be too busy. I'll talk to you some other day." I read the text but never got around to responding. 

Many days later, he called to tell me how he had been wondering what I was doing and why I hadn't called. He had been sure that his text would have inspired me to hurry and hop on the telephone and apologize for being too busy for him. Or at least, he had hoped that I would have responded with an angry text asking him why he had the nerve to say that he'd talk to me some other day. 

Nope. I didn't care.

I honestly hadn't given his text that much thought. I saw it and went on about my life.

Well, during the course of the call, he let me know that he was very interested in pursuing a relationship with me and went on to disclose certain aspects of his life. Since he was open, I inquired about his credit history, credit score, financial plans for the future and plans for his life. As I had imagined, he was no slouch. A true business man with his personal and financial affairs in order. 

My N***a! ;)

He went on to inform me that he was looking for something serious. He could not understand why I had been so evasive, but the mystery led him to believe that I was the type of woman who had options, didn't necessarily need a man, and probably not impressed by too many people. 

My silence and lack of availability communicated to him that I was too busy tending to my business to engage in frivolous conversations. That turned him on!

Suddenly he wants to" take me off the market." But alas, he was correct. I have options. Many.

Had this happened ten years ago, the moment I noticed I was interested, I would have been calling him every day and impatiently awaiting every opportunity for him to call me so that I could hear his voice!

I would have been so excited to get to know him, that I would have made sure to be available....just so he could know how serious I was about becoming his woman. 

Silly me. Men don't work like that. 

If you make yourself too available, you look like a fool. Make yourself never available, you look like you don't care. And he will move on. So balance is the key, my Dears. 

Kindly answer his calls, if you have the time. If not, a quick text lets him know that you are "busy at the gym" or grinding away "working on a project" or doing something so amazing or exhilarating that it drives him crazy to the point that he longs to be apart of your life.

So be cool. Everything will be alright. Sometimes it's not that there are no men available. Sometimes we just happened to have run them off. But it''s all good. Now you know what to do. Keep calm and let him come after YOU. Don't worry. It's not too late. Take two chill pills and pick up where you left off in the morning. #YoureWelcome #HoneyGetYoLife #BeAvailableButNotTooOften #AfterAllYouHaveALife #MakeHimWantYou #DontHateThePlayerHateTheGame

Her Royal Majesty~
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Posted on Jun 21, 2017 at 04:18 AM

Thank you. love it

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Posted on Jun 06, 2017 at 07:57 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

I like your story telling style. Very cool and refreshing.


you gave the advice to all the ladies, what about men?

Her advice works for men too.  Except when it doesn't.  Just like hers for women.  

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Posted on Jun 01, 2017 at 11:48 PM

@Majesty, you should take up writing romance novels, and advice columns, if you don't already.
Have you ever wondered what might have been, had you given him the chance?
You flipped the tables on him, but perhaps that's what keeps all too many of us single. Maybe you should have gone for it and seen if there was potential.

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Posted on May 18, 2017 at 06:55 AM

That works both ways, but yip that is wow wow story indeed.

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Posted on May 16, 2017 at 01:59 PM

Wow indeed.  

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Posted on May 14, 2017 at 02:19 PM


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