Member's Blog > Funtimes0007's blogs > *** Family Troubles..Anyone? ***
*** Family Troubles..Anyone? *** Sort by:
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Posted on Sat, Oct 22, 2016 01:58 AM

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a former MM member, "How did you get here?  What was the nature of your illness?"

He got this reply..

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it.

I got hitched to a rich widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.  My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her.  And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother.

Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.

So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother!

Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle.

As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother.  Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter.

Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.

But hold on just a few minutes more.  You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only my wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather.

Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All the jokes I have posted are oldies but goldies. None are my creations..enjoy!"


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Posted on Wed, Jul 26, 2017 02:11 AM

What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together? In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."



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Posted on Sat, Mar 18, 2017 05:51 PM

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."



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Posted on Sat, Mar 18, 2017 05:50 PM

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"



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Posted on Tue, Dec 20, 2016 11:22 PM

Quoting NiceEyes:

I think that one is quite easy to answer,  closer to creation from time of Adan an Eve meant the blood line was more pure, perfection was the order of the day, hence less likely that children born were going to be left with genetics producing infirmities in their offspring, but after the flood, the years of humankind dramatically dropped off, hence imperfection became the norm, which logically means the blood line is now prone to producing offspring born into insestual relationships with resulting genetic problems in our generation more so than ever, we are so far from the years of our first living parents. Let us not overlook that the longest living recorded person in biblical times only lived 969 years, no body ever reached a thousand years, yet science now knows that the human body was and is designed to live for all eternity, yet something put a spanner in the works and we all know what that was.

 

So yes if you believe in creation as opposed to evolution the writing is clearly on the wall to understand. I m a creationist, I don't hold with Darwin's theories, I give credit to the Universal Creator, everything is in order, just like our vast Universe is in order when you gaze upon the night sky, if a rib was removed from Adam to bring about Eve then whom am I a mere grasshopper having the right to question the Universal Sovereign of the Universe and that loving intellectual entity of energy whom brought about the creation of the Universe in the first place, no offence to others, that is just my personal belief system, to each their own.

 

Happy holidays everyone


You missed the point. What do you mean by blood lines were more pure?

 

Eve was created from Adam (as per religions) so its the same blood line for Eve as per todays science (there was no female, just a male). And as we know that all humans do not have the same blood line today, therefore it is impossible that Eve was created from Adams rib.

 

Thus all religions are either men made or someone screwed up the explanation in hollybooks.



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Posted on Tue, Dec 20, 2016 11:18 PM

Quoting Curious2078:

ROFLMAO


At least the joke made you smile :)



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Posted on Tue, Dec 13, 2016 04:25 PM

ROFLMAO



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Posted on Mon, Dec 12, 2016 12:07 AM

Quoting MissBrazil10:

welcome to America


Actually we all have to say to you, Welcome to American citizenship as your profile says.

 

And you living in CA means you have to be extra careful :) Enjoy your time on this site, I wish that you find your dream man.



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Posted on Sun, Dec 11, 2016 04:58 PM

welcome to America


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Posted on Mon, Dec 05, 2016 10:32 PM

Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

Undivided tribe and wealth for the rich people as well as the convenient search are the reasons for next of kin marriages ..yes its true ..Ive heard that once from a rich Spanish Family

but they didn't do it because they are living in my country  which totally prohibits such kinds of marriages because of the

Religion and the known Genetic anomalies ..but there are of 

course unrevealed cases following their animal drives ..

 

The situation here in Europe is the same as in my Country .. the Law , the Religion , the Genetic anomalies and the Society

Prohibits and don't accept such kind of marriages but as I said

there is always an exception ..I know of 1 case and was published several yrs ago ...



What religion prohibits marrying cousins? I know Islam, Christianity and Judaism allows it, even some sects of Hinduism allows it and many other faiths and religions allows it.

 

I think separation of church from state, and multi culturalism promotes individual thought process which is extremely important to bring harmony among humans.

 

I love this quote by my fav. philanthropist, "People have become educated, but have not become human yet" :)



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Posted on Mon, Dec 05, 2016 05:58 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

I think the true reason behind marrying relatives in the old times was keeping the wealth of the tribal family within the tribe, and also finding a mate outside of the region would require a significant effort on all parties involved.

 

That was the true reason behind it.

 

In USA it is still allowed in several states and in Asia, middle east a very common practice. I am not sure about Europe. Probably they just use each other for sex only till they find a partner to procreate...lol


 

Undivided tribe and wealth for the rich people as well as the convenient search are the reasons for next of kin marriages ..yes its true ..Ive heard that once from a rich Spanish Family

but they didn't do it because they are living in my country  which totally prohibits such kinds of marriages because of the

Religion and the known Genetic anomalies ..but there are of 

course unrevealed cases following their animal drives ..

 

The situation here in Europe is the same as in my Country .. the Law , the Religion , the Genetic anomalies and the Society

Prohibits and don't accept such kind of marriages but as I said

there is always an exception ..I know of 1 case and was published several yrs ago ...



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Posted on Sun, Dec 04, 2016 02:45 AM

Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

@FUNTIMES ,

 

Its true ..well we came to the Age of Interpretation and still we 

are ..Those men who wrote the Books are not there or have 

not seen and witnessed what really happened ..Thru researches and Archaeological studies they were able to trace the Beginning of the Earth and mankind ..I  believe more on the 

logical Evolution of the Apes .. We are the best creation ever made by both ...Yes withall the knowledge we can put the topic

to rest ..

 

I agree with you ..marrying cousins is stupid ..Those group of 

people who did it we're asked why and their answer is " its better to marry a relative  than people you really don't know "

Well its convenient ..which is also stupid ..


I think the true reason behind marrying relatives in the old times was keeping the wealth of the tribal family within the tribe, and also finding a mate outside of the region would require a significant effort on all parties involved.

 

That was the true reason behind it.

 

In USA it is still allowed in several states and in Asia, middle east a very common practice. I am not sure about Europe. Probably they just use each other for sex only till they find a partner to procreate...lol


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Posted on Sun, Dec 04, 2016 12:51 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

So the conslusion is all religions known to mankind are men made, therefore the explanation of Eve was created from Adams ribs makes no sense as God is fairly smart in my books.

 

Now you know why I call myself Agnostic. There might be God, but not the way most major religions explains it to us else we are all off springs of incest to begin with :) As per all major religions there was Adam then came Eve and there was nothing before them as far as humans goes.

 

Can I rest my case on all religions are men made now?

 

p.s. I totally agree on marrying cousins etc. its plain stupid. Someone I also know who were first cousins married and there two sons were born as dwarf's..man I feel so bad for those kids. They have no normal life.


 

@FUNTIMES ,

 

Its true ..well we came to the Age of Interpretation and still we 

are ..Those men who wrote the Books are not there or have 

not seen and witnessed what really happened ..Thru researches and Archaeological studies they were able to trace the Beginning of the Earth and mankind ..I  believe more on the 

logical Evolution of the Apes .. We are the best creation ever made by both ...Yes withall the knowledge we can put the topic

to rest ..

 

I agree with you ..marrying cousins is stupid ..Those group of 

people who did it we're asked why and their answer is " its better to marry a relative  than people you really don't know "

Well its convenient ..which is also stupid ..



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Posted on Sat, Dec 03, 2016 09:14 PM

Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

Hi FUNTIMES ,

 

Sorry for the delay .. That fact is indeed confusing ..Some group of people are doing it because they are not aware of the 

complications ..cousin to cousins marriages but also happen

to people who are not related as an exception ..

 

Well Scientists have found out that Mental Retardations and Physical Disabilities are prevalent on the 1st kind of marriages

which are also known to most of us ..The cause is Genetic ..chromosomes and traits inherited from Parents ..due to the

Rhesus Factor ( Type D  besides A , AB , O ) mismatch leading

also to Blood Dyscrasias besides retardation and disability ..

 

There is 1 Family I know ..mother and father are 1st degree Cousins ..all their 3 Kids are Physically disabled ..so being surprised by the results they Consulted a Genetic Specialist 

and found out the anomalies and told them the truth ..

 

But don't forget in every rule there is always an exception like 

Nero ..


So the conslusion is all religions known to mankind are men made, therefore the explanation of Eve was created from Adams ribs makes no sense as God is fairly smart in my books.

 

Now you know why I call myself Agnostic. There might be God, but not the way most major religions explains it to us else we are all off springs of incest to begin with :) As per all major religions there was Adam then came Eve and there was nothing before them as far as humans goes.

 

Can I rest my case on all religions are men made now?

 

p.s. I totally agree on marrying cousins etc. its plain stupid. Someone I also know who were first cousins married and there two sons were born as dwarf's..man I feel so bad for those kids. They have no normal life.



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Posted on Sat, Dec 03, 2016 02:14 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

Ok this is where I get confused.

 

As per Bible, Quarran and even I think Jewish believe Eve was created from Adams rib. Sort of incest to begin with by God as same genes were used.


So why incest was prohibitted by all faiths all cultures throughout the world? (all religions and even non religions prohibit that). Todays science proves incest is bad for humanity but then why religions provides an opposite explanation of human origins? Thoughts..



 

Hi FUNTIMES ,

 

Sorry for the delay .. That fact is indeed confusing ..Some group of people are doing it because they are not aware of the 

complications ..cousin to cousins marriages but also happen

to people who are not related as an exception ..

 

Well Scientists have found out that Mental Retardations and Physical Disabilities are prevalent on the 1st kind of marriages

which are also known to most of us ..The cause is Genetic ..chromosomes and traits inherited from Parents ..due to the

Rhesus Factor ( Type D  besides A , AB , O ) mismatch leading

also to Blood Dyscrasias besides retardation and disability ..

 

There is 1 Family I know ..mother and father are 1st degree Cousins ..all their 3 Kids are Physically disabled ..so being surprised by the results they Consulted a Genetic Specialist 

and found out the anomalies and told them the truth ..

 

But don't forget in every rule there is always an exception like 

Nero ..



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Posted on Wed, Nov 30, 2016 12:35 AM

Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

@FUNTIMES 

 

Going back to your topic , remember Rome and Nero ..tracing

back to his ancestors ...He came from an incest Family ..They .are all related to each other but a wonder nobody  is mentally 

and physically retarded but treacherous , jealous and poison

killers .. 


Ok this is where I get confused.

 

As per Bible, Quarran and even I think Jewish believe Eve was created from Adams rib. Sort of incest to begin with by God as same genes were used.


So why incest was prohibitted by all faiths all cultures throughout the world? (all religions and even non religions prohibit that). Todays science proves incest is bad for humanity but then why religions provides an opposite explanation of human origins? Thoughts..



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Posted on Tue, Nov 29, 2016 08:02 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a former MM member, "How did you get here?  What was the nature of your illness?"

He got this reply...

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. 

 

I got hitched to a rich widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.  My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her.  And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. 

 

Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. 

 

So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! 

 

Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. 

 

As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother.  Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. 

 

Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. 

 

But hold on just a few minutes more.  You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only my wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. 

 

Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

​--------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

 

"All the jokes I have posted are oldies but goldies. None are my creations..enjoy!"



 

@FUNTIMES 

 

Going back to your topic , remember Rome and Nero ..tracing

back to his ancestors ...He came from an incest Family ..They .are all related to each other but a wonder nobody  is mentally 

and physically retarded but treacherous , jealous and poison

killers .. 



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Posted on Tue, Nov 29, 2016 12:27 AM

Quoting funtimes0007:

ok what happened to MaryClaire???



 

HEY FUNTIMES !

 

Im just taking a good  break but I hope I don't get accustom to

it ...Im doing fine alright ..



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Posted on Tue, Nov 29, 2016 12:21 AM

Quoting rmac22:

I took a course in abnormal psychology.  The professor warned us,   

 

"Don’t go around diagnosing your friends.  Especially don’t go around diagnosing yourself.  Please don’t diagnose me, most of us in this profession got into it because we wanted to find out what was wrong with us.  Yes I am weird.  Some of us are better at hiding it than others."  .

 

 

It was a great course.   



 

@RMAC !

 

Yes you are right ..our mind is not easy to reach ...its complicated specially those sick people ..Not easy to Diagnosed too because of the cris - crossing behaviors ..

I have witnessed and saw a lot , who behaved normal but they

are the really sick ones ..the Schizophrenics .. beware maybe

you will meet one and manipulate you ...Lol



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Posted on Mon, Nov 28, 2016 09:34 AM

Quoting Maryclaire2000:

 

Hey Buddy ,

 

I didn't expect your answer will be fast as the light ..Thanks ..

 

That was one of the series story of SVU ..the character was

Cynthia Nixon from one of the Sex and the City series and she 

was really good .. Well , Psychiatric Nursing is one of my best 

Specialty ...Its a challenge for me to deal with them ..

 

No never , 5 Personalities ..In my whole experience I have not 

meet any ..2 is enough otherwise the Psychiatrist will also go 

crazy ...My Professor before told us that people who works for

a long time in that Institution have the tendency to have some 

behavior but not crazy ..Hmmm


I took a course in abnormal psychology.  The professor warned us,   

 

"Don’t go around diagnosing your friends.  Especially don’t go around diagnosing yourself.  Please don’t diagnose me, most of us in this profession got into it because we wanted to find out what was wrong with us.  Yes I am weird.  Some of us are better at hiding it than others."  .

 

 

It was a great course.   



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