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The Age Issue!! Sort by:
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Posted on Jan 31, 2018 at 06:07 PM

Today's issue is the thorny issue of the age gap between potential partners.  Where we need to start on this issue is to understand that cultural context for male and female sexes (plumbing not identified gender) are completely different and each must be addressed separately to understand the unique problems or challenges.  But first before we get to the issue lets scope this so we can have a common understanding of some generalities. 

 

No one generality fits all, banal and obvious perhaps, but assuredly a point worth stating.  When we stereotype a group by age we make a general assumption about the whole within the range.  We know we should not assume everyone in that range fits the stereotype, we often do this for organizational grouping and efficiency.  This however is a disservice if you actually believe all in that group fit the stereotype.  Most white people like Mayonnaise.  Bob is white.  Bob must like Mayonnaise.  Wrong and flawed logic, but no real harm done.  Almost all stereotypes are rooted in some fact, yet when applied to individuals we do not know, it can be wrong and sometimes very harmful (think incorrect racial stereotypes).  Should we use stereotypes? Yes, but don't use or think of them as absolutes.  This is currently done quite often when it comes to age grouping by male and female seekers of a companion.

 

I will be using generalities that the reader can easily point to and say "Hey you are using stereotypes and making broad conclusions." yes as stated above for efficiency, there will always be outliers, and one of them may be you so please do not be offended.  This issue is deep and complex and would take volumes to address in any comprehensive manner so I will make a few points and attempt to draw your attention to a few things that you may want to think about that may help you find a compatible mate.

 

Lets start with men.  In societies around the world men have been attracted to young nubile women.  Please note I use woman as any female who has passed through puberty is biologically a woman capable of gestation of young.  However that in the modern context does not justify the old adage of "if there is grass on the field play." In fact the most recent studies have shown that both male and female frontal lobes in the brain, responsible for decision making and risk analysis are not completely done developing until about 24 years of age.  This makes sense evolutionarily...breed quick, and the elders lead. 

 

Often it has been noted that many men's attraction to women falls off in their 30's.  This is obviously not everyone and a shame for those who don't appreciate older women as their sexual peak takes place in their early to mid thirties.  This leaves many women in their 30's 40's and 50's wondering where the good men went.  For men who have their act together there are many possible companions in this age range, sadly there are not as many men measuring up for a very interesting postulated reason.

 

Recently a general practioner and I hypothesized that our culture was undergoing a profound cultural shift never before seen.  Starting roughly with the full swing of the Renaissance in the 1400s (full swing) an idea came into being that persisted really to ~1910 of the Renaissance Man.  This man was a well rounded and accomplished person.  Any man that had the means and ability was expected to try his best, out of duty to himself and honor to be such a man.  He was educated, able to play a musical instrument, could read the classics, speak Latin, be athletic, appreciate art, poetry and theatre.  The more the better, and the more well rounded a gentleman the better the man.  Annnnnnd we lost that.

 

With the end of World War II the American ideal and the democratization of our society with all equal meant men aspired to be the blue collar man.  Company man and hard worker.  Screw you Nerd I am a real man who works the mine and builds the skyscraper or is the banker and the capitalist.  Real men go to the bar not the theater.  By the 1980's we looked up to Gordon Geko and wanted to be him.  Can Gordon Geko hold a candle to Thomas Jefferson?  So the aspirations, breadth, depth and therefore quality of the ideal male dropped. But something very different was happening with the female sex.

 

Women's stature, education, drive, knowledge, sense of self worth and the ideal woman was becoming far more than what it had been in history due the feminist movement of the 1960's onward.  Women were aspiring to be more while men were aspiring to be less.  Women have for quite awhile outnumbered men in universities in the U.S. Our culture is changing men and the women are not impressed.  But what does it mean for our Age gaps.  Well lets get practical.

 

Many men are finding women in their 30-50 as intimidating because their act is more together and they have a stronger sense of emotional and intellectual development, so men often look for the younger not so confident crowd.  Men up your game and check out the 30-50 band.  Women, tough road.  If you are in the 30-50 probably some slim pickings until men either up the game or culturally up the aspirations.  Solution...demand better, it is probably the only way it will happen.  Everyone, if you have your act together maybe broaden that age range a bit to try to find that higher caliber.  Maybe explore a larger gap in age. But most important be aware and think.  How well are you educated?  How well are you coming across?  How respectful are you?  These things matter guys.  And women, its not a fairy tale and I am not saying settle, but so what if he is 10 years younger if he has it together?  Maybe it time to switch sides to the all girls team?  Maybe  keeping your standards high is the way to force the issue in the long run even though it sucks now.

 

One thing that is clear, society will adjust.  I have heard sociologist opine that women will do away with men, or men will be used by multiple women, or men will respond due to the biological need to breed.  Whatever it will be it is not here yet.


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Posted on Apr 12, 2018 at 03:55 PM

I'M NEW HERE! SAY HELLO! CHECK OUT MY BLOG!

 

I prefer a more experienced man!  A 15 year age gap seems like a sweet spot! 

 


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Posted on Mar 25, 2018 at 01:54 PM

I get allot of men under 30 contracting me on another site I am glad I can choose my age preference here I like older men above 55

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Posted on Mar 25, 2018 at 01:56 AM

Quoting author:

I am beyond frustrated of young men out there who are only after one thing. I also came out of a relationship where the age gap was only 2 years which left me yearning for a more mature partner. Due to my previous relationship I am scarred from being used in every possible way even though it was meant to be the love of my life and now I am terrified to attempt to love again and at the same time frustrated of the single life. I have tried experiencing with other sites where the age ranged from 0 to 10 and came to the conclusion that I prefer an age gap of in between 10 to 20 years so I can enjoy someone's company and who knows how to treat a girl that has been damaged to the extent of almost no repair.



 

@ Ruxandra_Lita , 

 

Im sorry what happened to you but maybe you have to come

out of that bad Karma...I know its difficult to be biased but we 

always learned from mistakes ..Don't give up ..give love a chance ..is my Motto now ..I had been lied , swindled and I was 

almost at the brink of giving up but then I changed my attitude ..I discarded my negative attitude about men and started to see

things as a part of grown up life and live without or with doesn't

matter . I have my own life and Im happy now ..


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Posted on Mar 25, 2018 at 12:25 AM

I am beyond frustrated of young men out there who are only after one thing. I also came out of a relationship where the age gap was only 2 years which left me yearning for a more mature partner. Due to my previous relationship I am scarred from being used in every possible way even though it was meant to be the love of my life and now I am terrified to attempt to love again and at the same time frustrated of the single life. I have tried experiencing with other sites where the age ranged from 0 to 10 and came to the conclusion that I prefer an age gap of in between 10 to 20 years so I can enjoy someone's company and who knows how to treat a girl that has been damaged to the extent of almost no repair.


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Posted on Mar 25, 2018 at 12:23 AM

Quoting author:

Age is just a number, depends on how a woman takes care of herself. Most young men fancy older women because they see them as more stable, honest, mature, caring and well experienced to sexual matters.

 

@MightLuv ,

 

Thank you for your comments  about older women but don't forget that " age " goes with Physical constitution ...there are a 

lot of changes going on in the body of a woman and we can't

deny it and you guys can't ignore it . 


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Posted on Mar 24, 2018 at 01:37 PM

*in sexual matters*

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Posted on Mar 24, 2018 at 01:35 PM

Age is just a number, depends on how a woman takes care of herself. Most young men fancy older women because they see them as more stable, honest, mature, caring and well experienced to sexual matters.

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Posted on Mar 15, 2018 at 09:53 AM

hi there I would love to know u

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Posted on Mar 15, 2018 at 09:52 AM

hi thete

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Posted on Mar 08, 2018 at 06:02 AM

Quoting author:

Today's issue is the thorny issue of the age gap between potential partners.  Where we need to start on this issue is to understand that cultural context for male and female sexes (plumbing not identified gender) are completely different and each must be addressed separately to understand the unique problems or challenges.  But first before we get to the issue lets scope this so we can have a common understanding of some generalities. 

 

No one generality fits all, banal and obvious perhaps, but assuredly a point worth stating.  When we stereotype a group by age we make a general assumption about the whole within the range.  We know we should not assume everyone in that range fits the stereotype, we often do this for organizational grouping and efficiency.  This however is a disservice if you actually believe all in that group fit the stereotype.  Most white people like Mayonnaise.  Bob is white.  Bob must like Mayonnaise.  Wrong and flawed logic, but no real harm done.  Almost all stereotypes are rooted in some fact, yet when applied to individuals we do not know, it can be wrong and sometimes very harmful (think incorrect racial stereotypes).  Should we use stereotypes? Yes, but don't use or think of them as absolutes.  This is currently done quite often when it comes to age grouping by male and female seekers of a companion.

 

I will be using generalities that the reader can easily point to and say "Hey you are using stereotypes and making broad conclusions." yes as stated above for efficiency, there will always be outliers, and one of them may be you so please do not be offended.  This issue is deep and complex and would take volumes to address in any comprehensive manner so I will make a few points and attempt to draw your attention to a few things that you may want to think about that may help you find a compatible mate.

 

Lets start with men.  In societies around the world men have been attracted to young nubile women.  Please note I use woman as any female who has passed through puberty is biologically a woman capable of gestation of young.  However that in the modern context does not justify the old adage of "if there is grass on the field play." In fact the most recent studies have shown that both male and female frontal lobes in the brain, responsible for decision making and risk analysis are not completely done developing until about 24 years of age.  This makes sense evolutionarily...breed quick, and the elders lead. 

 

Often it has been noted that many men's attraction to women falls off in their 30's.  This is obviously not everyone and a shame for those who don't appreciate older women as their sexual peak takes place in their early to mid thirties.  This leaves many women in their 30's 40's and 50's wondering where the good men went.  For men who have their act together there are many possible companions in this age range, sadly there are not as many men measuring up for a very interesting postulated reason.

 

Recently a general practioner and I hypothesized that our culture was undergoing a profound cultural shift never before seen.  Starting roughly with the full swing of the Renaissance in the 1400s (full swing) an idea came into being that persisted really to ~1910 of the Renaissance Man.  This man was a well rounded and accomplished person.  Any man that had the means and ability was expected to try his best, out of duty to himself and honor to be such a man.  He was educated, able to play a musical instrument, could read the classics, speak Latin, be athletic, appreciate art, poetry and theatre.  The more the better, and the more well rounded a gentleman the better the man.  Annnnnnd we lost that.

 

With the end of World War II the American ideal and the democratization of our society with all equal meant men aspired to be the blue collar man.  Company man and hard worker.  Screw you Nerd I am a real man who works the mine and builds the skyscraper or is the banker and the capitalist.  Real men go to the bar not the theater.  By the 1980's we looked up to Gordon Geko and wanted to be him.  Can Gordon Geko hold a candle to Thomas Jefferson?  So the aspirations, breadth, depth and therefore quality of the ideal male dropped. But something very different was happening with the female sex.

 

Women's stature, education, drive, knowledge, sense of self worth and the ideal woman was becoming far more than what it had been in history due the feminist movement of the 1960's onward.  Women were aspiring to be more while men were aspiring to be less.  Women have for quite awhile outnumbered men in universities in the U.S. Our culture is changing men and the women are not impressed.  But what does it mean for our Age gaps.  Well lets get practical.

 

Many men are finding women in their 30-50 as intimidating because their act is more together and they have a stronger sense of emotional and intellectual development, so men often look for the younger not so confident crowd.  Men up your game and check out the 30-50 band.  Women, tough road.  If you are in the 30-50 probably some slim pickings until men either up the game or culturally up the aspirations.  Solution...demand better, it is probably the only way it will happen.  Everyone, if you have your act together maybe broaden that age range a bit to try to find that higher caliber.  Maybe explore a larger gap in age. But most important be aware and think.  How well are you educated?  How well are you coming across?  How respectful are you?  These things matter guys.  And women, its not a fairy tale and I am not saying settle, but so what if he is 10 years younger if he has it together?  Maybe it time to switch sides to the all girls team?  Maybe  keeping your standards high is the way to force the issue in the long run even though it sucks now.

 

One thing that is clear, society will adjust.  I have heard sociologist opine that women will do away with men, or men will be used by multiple women, or men will respond due to the biological need to breed.  Whatever it will be it is not here yet.



~~  DrRubright  ~~

 

Thanks for your effort, in an interesting and debatable topic.

 

I would love to take you up on certain issues.   However, it appears that you and several others, who are new to the MM boards, make one post and disappear ?.

 

As a friendly reminder to you and all who wish to participate, please keep in mind that,  The Blogs here are in the " Community " category.

 

As such, it would be delightful to have all the " one time " posters, continue the camaraderie.

 

~~  S L  ~~

 

 

 

 


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Posted on Feb 10, 2018 at 08:37 AM

Hi! Thank you for your post!

 

I enjoyed your perspective and it really does make sense. There is a sense of confusion among genders, their roles and what's expected of them. Masculine is tying to define what in the world a man should do, and feminine, says, screw it, who needs a man. The pendulum hasn't found it's balance yet, it's swinging wildly to the left or right, and I may not be still around to see the day that magic happens, but my kids might...

The seed has been planted.  

June


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Posted on Feb 09, 2018 at 05:48 PM

Women after 55 almost always prefer younger men than there ages......sometime have exception.....rarely...lol


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Posted on Feb 07, 2018 at 09:27 PM

I have only been on this site since the end of October 2017.  Rarely do I find men wanting to date older women my age no matter how old they are.  The age range usually never reach my age of 64, even though I do not look it.  In my personal life, guys always flirt and approach and talk to me.  The main reason why I joined a dating site is due to safety and screening of the users, can find out more information about them, seeking a serious relationship, and

subsequently, leading to marriage.  I am getting a lot of views, about 400 and double with users viewing my profile more than once, which is very overwhelming


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Posted on Feb 06, 2018 at 10:56 AM

Thank you for the great topic. The Age Issue.  Younger or older?  As a healthy woman in my early 50s I have thought about maybe a younger man. He might be able to keep up with me and inspire me to even act younger. I would definitely appreciate the youth of a 40 something man more than a younger woman would. That being said I have also though that an older man or one my age would appreciate me more. Fertile or not us older woman do think about all the wonders of an intimate relationship. I think people think about it way more than they let on but maybe that is just me. Dreams/fantasies are my main character flaw.  Younger or older? Does it matter? On here REAL and honest are the hardest thing to figure out.



Venus in Pisces
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Posted on Feb 05, 2018 at 03:10 PM

I only date women close to my age range and have to contend with young women that beat me up about not being interested. Please ladies- Age is not a number. 

 

And.. women over 55 can be so very sexual. 

 


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