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Once a cheater always a cheater? Is that true?

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1 year ago
If someone cheats, will they cheat again? If given a second chance will the lesson be learned from being caught and never do it again?

What are the odds they'll cheat again?

Or will they be grateful for the second a chance and be smart enough not to do it again?


What do you think?
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1 year ago
I have to agree with everyone. The cheating act will eventually be committed again.

A friend is on his second marriage because he cheated on his first wife. Now he was caught emailing another woman while being married to the woman he cheated with. He almost lost his second wife. I asked him, is it really worth it? He had no answer. I bet he won't learn his lesson.

Go figure. Don't people ever learn?
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I dont stick around to find out...once a cheater on me never to enter my life again!!
I think if someone cheats then gets away with it or forgiven maybe there is a chance for them to do it again...I cant really comment as once and once only is my moto!!
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Dear Last Romantics

I gave light thought to the fact that this was written in the third person. Very often when this occurs, it's because the person wants to step outside of him/herself because, "one cannot see all the trees in the forest while he is still in the forest". This happens to be the first positive sign of self improvement.

I'd say, we are all humans, subject to a learning process, have the right to make mistakes and an equal right to learn from those mistakes and recover from them.

After the mistake is made, the person we believe to have been most affected, will eventually come around to a forgiving state of mind, whether or not that person chooses to stay in close proximety of their "offender".

So now, we are left with the person who made the mistake. This is the person who is truly most affected. But once that person is willing to pause to review the mistake along with it's consequences and becomes willing to ADMIT his wrong action(s) - then there is much room for improvement.

But there is a tall hurdle to jump - - SELF FORGIVENESS - - it is the hardest thing to do.

How that person might be able to forgive him/herself?? - -
a) Admit to another person (which seems to already have been done),
b) admit to God (???) and
c) admit to him/herself.

When that's done, the person takes the hard learnt lesson(s) and continues with life while working toward not repeating that mistake.

Once: an accident (or mistake). Twice: a coincident.
Thrice: a deliberate act.

I believe, mistakes, blunders etc. is strictly between the wrong doer and his/her God (if there is one) but others, happen to get caught up in the web - so ... Do Offer An Apology ... and whether or not it is accepted, you would've done your part, so don't beat up on yourself. Let it go and strive to do much better.
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Your correct Crazy if the 2 cheaters stay together and know that they both were cheating. Then they deserve each other and should expect the same treatment.
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I think most cheaters will cheat again.

My old boss was a professional cheater, he has been married 5 times. He surfed porn all day at work. He would disappear at lunch for hours. The things I could have told his wife....but then I thought, well, he cheated on his previous wife with her, and she cheated on her husband...so the two of them deserve each other.

My ex husband cheated on me so I kicked him to the curb. He is one unhappy man now. But you make your bed, you lie in it.

A leopard can't change his spots.
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1 year ago
To TheLastRomantic.

If someone cheats, will they cheat again? There is no assured answer for that question. Face it, it is your decision to forgive and take your chances, or forget and move along with your life. There are different reasons for cheating and different motivation for both sexes. Please, don?t accuse me in caring double standards, I am just pointing to the widely known facts. If to talk about ?normal? average woman, more likely her cheating was caused by extreme dissatisfaction in her permanent relationship. Regular woman is prone to keep her family, and not likely to put in jeopardy what she has for transitory sexual gratification. But? There is always exclusion. And I?ve known a woman who was almost frigid in her marriage and was hypersexual with all her husband?s friends, because she was not married to them?
A little bit different wiring of guy?s brain? (I am about to make a statement and don?t want rocks to be thrown at me) It is normal male sexuality to see a sensory stimulating woman as a possible sexual partner. I am not saying he is going to have sex with her, this is the way he percepts the woman: f..able or not.. Thus, guys more likely to fall in the circumstantial cheating... ?Just happen? type of things...It can be too spontaneous to think, if you please, about the consequences of the act. Once again, I am talking about abstract guy, not any particular one. Every particular man is capable of keeping his desires under the control, or not capable of passing any skirt without peeking under..

In the conclusion, if you, TLR, think your relation are salvageable, go through the counseling, find out what was wrong in your relationship.. If you feel in your heart that there?s no place for trust anymore- it?s worthless. Move on? And I wish you the best?
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1 year ago
It goes down to the saying- a leopard doesn't change its spots! There are plenty nice people in the world to choose from.

However, it is really up to the individual. Many of us believe in second chances but I think to give a person that second chance you would have to make it clear to the person that what they did really hurt you. This would be their last chance.

Hope that helps.

sarah :-)
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Simple answer is YES.....
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I dont know I dont mess with those types. Never had anyone cheat on me and never really understood the type of person that could do that. I wouldnt keep them around long enough to figure out if they would cheat again anyhow.
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I think once a cheater they will eventally go back to old habits. Just like men who you train to put the socks IN the laundry basket... it gets done for a couple of months and then... back to the floor!!!
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1 year ago
Once a cheater always a cheater.
If they do it, andyou let them get away with it, they will do it again, because they think you are a pushover.
I have three deal breakers, and that is one of them.
A person who cheats is very low on morals and values, and that isnt a person we want to be involved with. We all deserve much better.
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I'll have to agree with Dr Phil or I mean Newman on this. Cheaters don't feel guilty until they're caught and if they don't see the hurt they cause then they continue. A lot of the time they are able to justify their actions in their minds and turn the blame around so that it's not their fault. It really is a character flaw.
Mind you, there are people that "fall of the wagon" and don't cheat again.
Just my opinion...
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I hate to disappoint but I think Newman is right.
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1 year ago
Thanks Newman,

I never really looked at it that way. I only looked for the chance to win her back. I don't want to be second choice. I deserve better than that.

Thanks for the reality check.

Amazing how someone can put things in perspective for you.

Thanks!