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Member's Blog > My experience with a player

My experience with a player

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1 year ago
This is for Carla and all the others. If you are reading this, you probably think I'm a monster, but let me explain. Obviously, you chose to stay with Randy despite my comments. Can't blame you, he is a dream come true at the beginning of a relationship. I met him in March of 1988. It was love at first sight. We got engaged two weeks later. I moved in with him 3 months later. He was the most wonderful man I ever met. He called our little condo "our nest" (this was before he made his money). Several women warned me about him, but I chose not to listen. My friends would see him with other women and call me at work to tell me. A year later, we broke up. He was not ready to get married, and did not want children at all. I got deeply depressed for 2 years. We both married others, I had two daughters who are now 12 and 9. 4 years ago, I decided to go into Real Estate, and I located Randy, since I figured he must be successful, and I would like to talk to him. He told me he thought of me often, even when he was in bed with his wife. He said he was so glad I found him. He got divorced, and a year later, I did, not because of him exactly, but having him tell me he loves me and wants to be together was a big motivator. We saw each other once a month for a couple years. In January, I went to see him like usual. The first thing I saw in his house was a picture of his ex-wife practically naked, on display. I got upset since he had just moved in and wasn't even finished unpacking yet. He spent the next few days constantly on his cell phone, ignoring me. I got upset and cried, which was a HUGE mistake, he can't stand crying for ANY reason. I left early and as usual, 2 weeks later, he was calling me again since he was horny. He kept putting off seeing me because he was busy working on his house. In reality, he was lining up women on the Internet. We had phone sex for the last time in May. Shortly after that, I called him and a girl answered, saying she was his girlfriend. I talked to him a couple times after that and he told me he had a girl staying with him, but he also had one in Vegas, Texas, Florida and Panama. On August 19, I called and he had just picked up some woman in a bar and was trying to have sex with her, but wanted me to listen. Now he tells me I'm fat and ugly. I haven't changed my looks in 3 years. As a mother of two preteen daughters, I hate this behavior, and want to warn others. Unfortunately, he is so charming at the beginning, we all fall for him. So thats my story. Thank you for hearing me out.

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Susie,

Sometimes, the one person we come to care about misled us. That's reality. We can choose to let it cripple us emotionally or move on; become jaded or learn from the experience and grow as a person. How we deal with it is what defines our character.

All my best.
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My dear Susie, never mind her!!!

None of us are ever going to be Perfect BUT we can strive for Progress ... and stop hurting so bad, everytime a bit of salt is spilled, it burns your wounds - start covering up those wounds now - Allow yourself to heal, it's about time - LET IT GO. You deserve to smile again.

- believe me Susie - You do not want to hear the story that led to my divorce. Consider yourself very fortunate, you got off with only "scratches". Some folks might not understand your pain, but if they don't, who gives a rat's ass? that is their lack of understanding, not yours.
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1 year ago
Ms.Congeniality,

God, I wish I was as perfect as you are. You never answered my question, do you ever cry in front of a man?
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1 year ago
Hey Sepelo...you may get your excitement (cat fight), but it won't be involving myself, and I doubt Paulina. We're two rational people, and above it! lol
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Hi Susie: I hope you are much better today, and I hope you have hardened somewhat by the mixed opinions arising from the blog YOU created.

I'd strongly suggest you consider speaking to one person privately, someone whom you trust. A good "sit down and talk" should help you to deal with this situation in a much better manner.

Your blog gives others weapons to tear you apart. Try to keep the focus on yourself. Your time and energy could be more rewarding, if spent on developing your own strengths.

How he chooses to live his life is entirely his problem. While you are tormenting your mind, he's happily swinging.
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no fair sharp .. .stoppin the fun before it starts ::pouting::
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1 year ago
MissCongeniality,

I have NEVER stolen a husband. More like HE stole a wife (me). Women like me tell it like it is, women who act perfect and never complain ruin it for the rest of us. I bet you never cry in front of a man, do you?
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1 year ago
Sepelo shame on you! No fight here!

Miss Congeniality I don't see anyone apologizing for Suzie, but giving her some good advice instead.

Susie I guess the positive side is you learned a valuable lesson...NEVER LET ANY MAN TAKE INTIMATE PICTURES OF YOU.

Pantera...good advice.

Paulina...Wow! You laid it out so eloquently, and offered excellent advice, which Susie should consider. Kudos gal! :-)
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Yay a new fight!
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Hi Susie: You do not have my sympathy, but you do have my support, lots of sisterhood love and encouragement to look up and see a star. Once you keep looking down you will only see slush etc. I wish to commend your human attributes, accept your pain and know that you were able to love only because you are human. There is a very unfortunate bunch out there who may spend their entire lives not knowing what true love is.

This is the first time I'm taking time out of my schedule to read and reply to a blog and might I say, "you are definitely worth my time and thougth" - I thank you for sharing your experience with me and others who can extract the lesson from it. You are beautiful first of all because you experience positive emotions. I admire your patience and tolerance level ...

... but cut your losses Sue. If you find you do not have enough strength to do so on your own, there is always a loving God to turn to. Each of us are different, we possess strengths and weaknesses in various areas - where we have strength we need not ask for help - but we need to, and are free to, ask for help in our weaknesses.

I have never met you Susie, and I probably may not in all of my life but today I offer you words of love, and hope you can find strength in them. You may want to consider totally banning this little man from running around in your head - I honestly believe you are worthy of a wonderful gentleman, and he's out there, somewhere - simply lift your vision!!! ok, girlfriend?
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1 year ago
Sharp1,

No one chased me off, I got busy, then came back when this man (the same one) started harassing me again. He posted intimate photos on craigslist under Erotic Services (the second time)on Christmas Day!! Plus, he left about 10 messages for me that morning about how fat and ugly I am. Nice holiday, huh?

Sharp, take off your rose colored glasses. There are many scary things to deal with in this world.
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1 year ago
Katie, it's true 'love' is powerful. But people have to know when to reign in their conduct. This blog is out of line. It doesn't belong here. It makes Susie look like a jealous woman out for revenge! Sorry Susie, just saying it how I see it.

It's rare that I make such a strong statement toward someone. But I remember you months ago, maybe a year ago, posting similar threads on the forums against maybe this same man, or another guy...I don't know. I didn't post there, but other members were not to keen with your negative posts, and eventually I think you were chased off? Now you are repeating your behaviour in blogland. It's not flattering of yourself. And with all the blogs I have been reading regarding 'blogging positively'...this doesn't seem to be a desired blog by the majority.
Should you decide to post negatively about myself, because I've made this negative post on your blog...I don't care. It will not be responded too.
I felt it was fair that others know this is not the first time you have posted this kind of information. I'm just not certain if it is the regarding the same man or not.

Starfinder...ditto
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Hi Lori ann.....

She did post a blog about that.....something about Craigslist.....under Erotic...or something like that....with her number as well....
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You aren't going to go back to this bottomfeeder, are you? "Cuz you don't deserve scum like him and he'll never change. It's like he's been spoiled, like a rotten apple. You can't save that.

You deserve someone wonderful, Susie. We all do.
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Susie....This was the blog he started yesterday....:

1CALIFORNIADREAMIN
Posted on 08-JAN-07

I have a business associate on this site who is being stalked and harassed by a female living in Summerlin, Las Vegas. She is also committing slander, and defamation of character against him. I need help in getting him a top Attorney to help bring a civil case against her. Any referral advice to a aggressive top rated Lawyer is greatly appreciated. He has a current restraining order against her and feels very threatened by her. He lives in California. Any help is welcomed...Sincerely Randy

Hope this helps....:)
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1 year ago
Preciouz,

What do you mean, get a lawyer, why should I? How do you know he is looking for one? He has all the time and money, and is getting laid every night as well. I am making ends meet, raising my daughters, and am lonely every night. I don't want to contact him. I feel pain and suffering (like the weirdos who sue for whiplash or something and win millions) but physical pain is a LOT better than emotional, plus no one takes emotional pain seriously). What ever happened to consequences? Can you go around treating everyone terribly and still come out looking like a wonderful person? That seems to be true, for some people.
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1 year ago
Although, I'm young and people will say what do I know about life. However, with my experience with bf's you have to set boundaries. Like you have an understanding if he or I crosses the line- ie cheats, mistreats each other etc its over. The method works for me. No boyfriend has ever done me wrong or I to him. Its not in me to be that way. If you don't set boundaries, people will just walk over you- if you let them. I love you is so easy to say but meaning it is different.

I do realise the guy in question does not sound great at all. Cute looks only go so far, personality makes the person. So its best to cut your losses. You seem like a really nice lady and deserve so much better.

Oh yeah and him putting pics of you on a site is soo low- stay away from him. Clearly he is a nasty piece of work.

sarah
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How many snake charmers are on here? Too many to count.
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Susie.......you might want to contact a lawyer.....seeing as Randy.....is looking for one....

A discount lawyer.....two for the price of one.....seems best....think about it?.....:)

On a serious note.......what she said....XHeartNSoulO......Ditto!