It’s Summer and love is in the air. We wanted to give you the best tips on how to find that special someone to make this a Summer you won’t forget. MillionaireMatch was able to speak Canadian born dating and sex expert, Shannon Boodram.
Shannon is the author of the bestselling book, LAID: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture. She has been seen on Fox News, KTLA, ABC Advice for Life, CBC News and more. If you can’t catch her on television, you can always see her on YouTube along with 140,000 other subscribers on her channel, Shan Boody.
MillionaireMatch: What’s your thoughts about online dating?
Shannon: I think online dating is fantastic. I think, we evolved beyond what our parents were basically confined to, which was to find your soulmate in high school or your small town. Now, you have the entire world to find, pick the best partner for you, and to get to know yourself through other people. What I also like about online dating, it’s really an opportunity to cut through the B.S. You can find out really quickly if someone just got out of a relationship, and if they are just looking for a good time. All the questions that would traditionally take three or four dates to figure out what the person wants, you can now do in the first three to four exchanges.
I think it’s a really great, efficient way to weigh your options, meet new people. Be clear with others about what those intentions are, and be clear with yourself about those intentions.
MM: Do you think there is a strategy to online dating?
Shannon: My strategies would be: 1) Be clear about what you want so that they know what your intentions are for being online. If you’re looking for a husband, girlfriend, boyfriend or a fun time, just be comfortable sharing that so that you don’t waste anyone’s time.
2) Know what you prioritize. If humor is very important to you, make your first question something like, what do you think would win in a fight? Bear or shark? I always ask that question, because I want to see what funny, creative answers they give me. Also, if someone was to write me, ‘hey sexy,’ off the top, I know we won’t gel. It’s just a matter of prioritizing what you want.
3) I would suggest a phone call where you block your number before you first meet. It can get exhausting going on all these first dates. What you want to do is minimize the number of people that you spend in-person time. I don’t give out my phone number until after the first date. I don’t want to have a bunch of dudes who have my personal number. I don’t feel obligated to give out my personal information before we know if we have chemistry.
If you are going to go on dates, I suggest making it local to where you live. I think you can burn yourself out really fast if you’re going on 20 first dates and they’re all forty minute drives away. It’s a matter of being efficient and clear in what you want, and making sure you are protecting yourself in terms of privacy.
MM: I love the idea of blocking your number. I’ve never thought about that.
Shannon: Yes, I learned from experience. There are people that you have a cool time with, but you don’t find them attractive in the way you thought. Now, you have to go through this awkward thing of breaking up with someone that you went with on one date.
MM: Do you think women should wait a certain amount of time before having sex with a new guy?
Shannon: I think there’s two ways of approaching anything. There’s study based and then there’s intuition or gut. The study based way will tell you that prolonging sex from men will deepen their interest. If you’re worried, then you should wait. I do think you could give a man the benefit of the doubt to be smarter than their basic instinct and use reasoning based on each situation. If you’re worried that it’ll change someone’s opinion of you or not, then I don’t think it hurts to wait. It’s safer to wait until you can trust someone before you’re in an environment where you are completely vulnerable. Some people have gotten married after sex on the first date. There’s no hard, fast rule. If you’re concerned, probably err on the side of waiting for three dates.
MM: You talk about the difference between sensuality vs. sexy in some of your vlogs. Can you tell me the difference?
Shannon: Sensuality is enjoyment in yourself. Sexy is really about how others perceive you. Sensual is an experience where you just find pleasure in everything that you do. Eating can be a sensual experience. Going for a walk can be a sensual experience.
MM: What’s next for you and the Shan Boody brand?
Shannon: I want to be the Martha Stewart of sex. When you think about living your best sexual life you think about Shan Boody. I want to continue to partner with people who can bring the conversation to a larger audience. I’m finding more topics that are approachable for everyone and not exclusive or isolating. Finding unique outlets, whether it’s web or tv, in which I can share my message. My message is finding your individual sex positive blueprint, and living in that space unashamed.
For more information on Shannon, check her out on Facebook and Twitter at Shanboody or www.shannonteresa.com.