Whether you find yourself getting ‘back in the saddle’, or if you never got off the horse, dating past your 50’s can be a challenge. There are a whole host of new problems to solve and things to consider that can make the process seem like a complete 180° turn from dating in your 20’s and 30’s.
So, if you find yourself looking for love in your 50’s, it’s going to be important that you have a clear set of rules that you adhere to in order to help the process along. Let’s break down all the things to keep in mind when dating in your 50’s.
Establish the Ground Rules
A Happy relationship is built on mutual respect and trust. It’s also built on boundaries. Now, in your 20’s and 30’s you were likely still trying to find yourself--let along your own boundaries. But, as someone who has matured quite a bit more than that younger person you once were, you should already have your boundaries well established.
What this means is that you should be able to clearly lay out a set of ground rules that you want to adhere to when dating. They can be as strict or as relaxed as you want, but they should be present to help keep you on track. These can be things such as Does the person have young children and am I okay with that? Do they have an established career, and do I need them to? Do they want to get married/remarried someday?
These are just a small sampling of ideas that you may want to add to your list. Having answers to these questions and providing a line which you won’t cross in regards to them will help keep you and your new potential partner on the same page.
Learn to Be Patient
Dating in your 50’s can be whatever you want it to be. Are you just looking for a fun and casual fling? That’s definitely possible! Are you looking for a long-term connection? That's out there too! The key, however, is that you have to remain patient throughout the entire process.
In your younger years, you may have found that partners--and yourself--were quite a bit less picky. There didn’t seem to be a lot of stress on the small things, despite these being the most important for long-term success in love. This carefree mindset made it easier to find partners, or so it may have seemed.
However, as you have matured, so have your potential suitors. You are likely to be looking for love from those who have established lifestyles, some baggage, and their own list of ground rules. This can make it seem like far fewer people are ‘compatible’ with you than there used to be. But, never fear, this is not the case. It simply means that those who are a match are likely to be a better match than those from your younger days.
Be patient, and understand that feeling rejected or like the process is too hard is a normal step for everyone to climb. With time, it will all come more naturally!
It might seem scary, but technology is the way of the world these days. Dating apps and websites have changed the way that people meet, and you are likely going to have to adapt to it--at least a little bit. So, what does this mean?
Well luckily for us there is very nearly a dating platform for everyone. If you just want casual meetups, Tinder is a great way to go. If you want something more serious and Meet quality matches, MillionaireMatch is a well-established community.
Now it’s important to note that setting up these profiles can take quite a bit of time. You’ll want to put some thought and care into the photos, bio, and personal details that you put there. You want the profile to stand out and draw in interest! This is an investment of time that many find is absolutely worth it. In fact, studies show that nearly 30% of all Americans have online dating profiles. So, something is working.
Just remember that dating apps are not the be-all-end-all. You should never miss an opportunity to make connections in person with the singles around you either!
Talk About Sex
Yes, yes, you are in fact going to have to talk about the big naked elephant in the room at some point. This is a subject that will very likely need to be broached far sooner than you may think now that you are dating in your
50’s. Why do you ask?
Well, the harsh reality is that singles in their 50’s and beyond face certain challenges in bed that younger partners may not--but this is okay! You may find yourself facing some physical limitations, aversions to certain acts in the bed, issues with monogamy, etc. These are all-natural things to talk about with a partner.
It may seem awkward, but having this talk as soon as you feel it may be necessary is a huge step in the right direction. You can discuss your preferences, dislikes, safety, and more. This will help keep the topic honest and relaxed between you and your new partner, as well as provide them a chance to be open and honest with you. You cannot overlook the importance of ‘the talk’ even into your 50’s!
The dating game may have changed over the past few years, but that doesn't mean you can’t play. These days it is more common than ever for singles in their 50’s to be out and looking for that new spark in their lives--you aren’t alone!
The most important thing to remember when dating in your 50’s is that your own personal boundaries and needs are crucial to the process. You can no longer shelve your own preferences just to find a partner--we are dealing with mature singles at this point. So, take the time to lay out what you need and want, and you will surely find a partner with the same values. It may take time, but the wait is always worth it.