• Ways to Deal with the Anxiety of Falling in Love Posted by Admin

    Falling in love can be frightening for many reasons, including having never been in love before and not knowing what to expect, or having been in love before and getting hurt because of it. However, as terrifying as falling in love can be, it can also be exhilarating. But how do you get past the worries and the anxiety of falling in love? How do you get to the good parts of falling in love without the fear of getting heartbroken? Learn how to become more confident and love to love again.

    Falling in Love
    Photo credit: Nathan Dumlao

    What is Philophobia?

    Philophobia is the fear of falling in love. It can also mean the fear of getting into a new relationship or the fear that you will not be able to maintain a relationship. In extreme and severe cases, this fear can also make people feel isolated and unloved. Philophobia is more common in people with past trauma or hurt.

    Causes of Philophobia

    Past Experience

    The trauma you’ve had from past relationships can really affect how you feel about any future relationship. Some examples of relationship trauma, also called relationship PTSD, include betrayal, heartbreak, abuse, and even infidelity. The fear of getting close to anyone in general can be due to negative involvements with past friendships and parental relationships.

    Fear of Rejection

    Similar to past experience, fear of rejection can be caused by being rejected in the past. However, it can also be just insecurity and you are afraid to make a move. Whether you’ve done it before or are too shy to try, putting yourself out there can be scary, and it actually affects your health. Rejection can have similar results in the body to physical pain.

    Pressure

    Parents, friends, and even different cultures can make you feel pressured to get married at a younger age. Because of this, it feels as if you need to rush to find a good relationship so you can start your married life to impress others. If you’re feeling this pressure, it means you are pushing yourself further away from the thought of dating. Therefore, you could have philophobia.

    Know the Difference between Love and Falling in Love

    A slight change in words makes a huge difference. Here’s why you have to watch how you use the word, “love.”

    What is Love?

    As a noun, defining love means an intense feeling of deep affection. As a verb, it means to feel deep affection for someone.

    Loving someone can be romantic and/or platonic. You care immensely about the person, and that person can be a family member, friend, or significant other. Sometimes it can even feel like a paternal type of love, as it’s more a sense of protection and comfort, and it’s more that you care about the person over anything else.

    You can also choose to love someone because you are deciding to see their best qualities and appreciate them for who they are. However, just as you can choose to love someone, you can also choose to stop loving someone and walk away, continuing your life without them.

    What is Falling in Love?

    To fall in love is the sudden, powerful attraction to someone. This is a romantic act, where you begin to experience deep dreamy feelings of love towards a person.

    Being in love is not a choice, and it happens more organically. It happens unexpectedly, without consent or intention. When you’re in love, you’ll put the needs of that person before yours and they tend to trump the platonic or paternal love you give to others.

    Unlike regular love, you do not get to decide when you want to stop being in love with someone. As this is not a choice, you may always have that feeling.

    Ways to Deal with the Anxiety of Falling in Love

    Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable

    One of the biggest struggles is allowing yourself to be open and honest with another person. You’re afraid of talking about your feelings in fear of how they will react. The person who is meant for you is going to listen to you, respect you, and allow you to confide in them without feeling judged. Once this happens, you will feel more trusting and find a sense of comfort in them. Emotional intimacy is important and essential to being close to someone in a relationship.

    Trust the Process

    You are not going to snap your fingers and have your anxiety disappear. These things take time, especially when doing something so big. Essentially, you are running a marathon, not a sprint.

    It’s also important to understand that you do not need to go in full force when dating someone new. You may feel sparks, but it does not mean you need to dive in head first. For someone who’s afraid to fall in love, it may be best to take things slow. This way, you’ll be able to process your feelings, really think about the relationship, and build a foundation of trust.

    Admit to Yourself Why You’re Afraid

    If you have philophobia, there’s some sort of root as to why you have it. The first step to recovery is admitting and acknowledging your problem. This way, you can answer the question as to why and find a solution somehow. Working on your problem will help lead you to a happier relationship. You can even start working on your vulnerability with yourself first before having to be vulnerable within your relationship.

    Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings

    Now that you’ve acknowledged your fears, give yourself the opportunity to get lost in them. Pretending you’re okay isn’t going to solve anything, so listen to your emotions. This will help you better understand your emotions and yourself going forward, giving you less fear and more confidence. Just remember, you are allowed to get nervous and be worried about falling in love. Your feelings are valid.

    Change Your Pattern

    Take a moment to reflect on your dating history. How did the people in your past treat you in order for you to become so fearful? What were the red flags or negatives you didn’t see while you were dating or that you chose to ignore? With your ending relationships, what went wrong and what issues kept popping up? Once you come up with these answers, this allows you to start recognizing themes and recurrent behaviors. This can help you stay away from what you tend to be drawn to the most.

    The fear of falling in love, or philophobia, is a common and normal anxiety, as many past or present experiences could cause it. However, you cannot live in fear forever. There are certain ways to get over your fear, and these will help you live a more confident lifestyle and feel more secure and happy in your future relationships. Learning how to conquer your fear of falling in love will take time, but in the end it’s not a race, and you set your own goals.

  • Should You Start Dating with A Jewish? Posted by Admin

    jewish dating

    Part of the beauty of getting married is being able to marry someone who shares your values, faith, and life goals. But what are your options if you are not religious? The truth is that there are some considerations that can make it difficult to find a good match.

    But fear not! This guide will explore the benefits and downfalls of dating Jewish - as well as some alternatives for interfaith couples looking for new ways to find their soulmate. Some things first, though - dating someone Jewish can be great because they share many values with you, but it might also make meeting people more difficult since you will be limited to other Jews. Traditional Jewish families usually practice endogamy (marrying someone from the same faith community), and it can be tough to find a good match.

    This is not true of all Jews or religious people, but it's something that you should consider before dating someone Jewish. If you are open, however, the benefits might outweigh the risks. To help you decide, here are some things to think about when deciding whether to date someone Jewish!

    Jewish Culture Is Wide-Ranging And Deeply Rooted In History

    It's hard to paint every Jew with the same brush - which is exactly why dating a Jewish can be so great. When you find someone with similar values and beliefs, it is easy to build a foundation for what makes you unique. This way, you will always have someone to talk to about politics or religion, and it is also much easier than trying to understand the nuances of other cultures.

    Their History Is Often A Shared Burden - But Also A Great Source Of Strength

    Many Jews live through Holocaust experiences, have experienced discrimination or persecution, or are self-conscious of being different from their friends or family. This can make dating someone Jewish more appealing since they are often looking for the same things as you - stability, intimacy, and love.

    However, this also makes dating a Jew more complicated. You may need to spend more time exploring each other's histories and the similarities and differences between your experiences.

    But everything is up for discussion, and you can never know exactly how similar or different your past experiences of love and pain were until you ask. This is the perfect recipe for building a deep, loving relationship! They Are Often Talented And Creative People Who Are Passionate About Their Beliefs And Passions

    Jews are often passionate about what they do in their careers, just as they are in their romantic lives. Dating within your own culture is tough enough. Dating someone from a different culture can be really intimidating, but not if you know what to expect! 

    Here are some helpful pieces of advice for dating a Jewish partner .

    Don't be surprised if they're not interested in PDA. It's cultural, and it's important to respect their values. 

    If you mention seder or matzo ball soup, do not expect them to know what you are talking about unless they grew up eating traditional foods too!

    Please do not take it personally if they say "no" when referring to things that take place on Saturdays and Sundays, holidays, and weekdays.

    Please don't assume that because they are Jewish, they are religious. Many Jews are secular.

    Please don't assume that because they are Jewish, you can automatically become best friends with them. 

    Even if they are religious, it does not necessarily mean that EVERYONE practices Judaism! It is really important to be respectful of other people's values and what makes them happy.

    If you are planning a trip, do not assume that it will be cheap or easy to visit. Many Jews travel during the summer and holidays, and sometimes even flights and accommodations can get expensive.

    Please do not assume that their family does not like you because of your race, nationality, or religion. 

    Don't expect them to speak Hebrew or Yiddish. A lot of Jews know some Hebrew words but not fluently. Chances are, they won't speak it to you.

    Please do not push them to convert!

    Don't be surprised if they are shy or quiet when meeting your friends and family. Jewish culture can be different from other cultures, and you need to be patient and supportive. They may not know what to say around their loved ones, and it may take time for them to feel comfortable in this new environment. 

    If you are doing something with your family, do not assume that their family will like it! Have them come along too! It's important to get along with their family.

  • How Can You Tell A Military Scammer? Posted by Admin

    Military Dating

    Dating a military man can be a lot of fun, but the problem is that there are a lot of military scammers out there. So even if you think that you might be dating someone from the military, that might not be the case. That’s why you want to figure out ways to tell you are dealing with a scammer. That might be harder to do than you imagine, but in the end, you will need to do it if you want to avoid problems.

    They Want You to Pay for Everything

    A clear sign of military dating scams is when you are expected to pay for everything. While you can’t expect the military man to pay for everything, you do expect to at least split the bills. So it’s strange when he just wants you to pay for everything.

    They Avoid Meeting In Large, Public Locations

    Scammers will always try to meet in small venues or places where they can’t be recognized. They are doing this to other people too, not just you, so they are trying to ensure that no one will recognize them. Otherwise, they would be in trouble.

    You Can’t Find Their Name After Doing Some Research

    It’s possible for a military scammer to use fake names. They might even take the name of someone enrolled in the military right now or who was a part of the military, then use it. This is the type of scam that happens often, and it’s totally something to take into consideration as much as possible.

    Asking for Compromising Photos

    Scammers always try to have some sort of leverage. That’s why they are sometimes asking for compromising pictures, videos, stuff that they can eventually use to blackmail you. Obviously, when you see something like this, you want to tackle the situation properly, otherwise, there will be problems and that’s the kind of stuff you want to avoid.

    They Ask You for Cash

    Scammers will always try to grab money from you, one way or the other. Many times they are focused on asking you for money, and that alone seems like a scam. A genuine military has their paycheck, so they don’t need money from you. If you are constantly asked for cash, you are most likely dealing with a scammer.

    Making Dumb Excuses

    They won’t make it easy for you to meet military friends because they don’t have any. The only thing they can do is to try and misguide you or present you to other scammers that are posing like a military professional.

    We always believe that it’s important to study how a person behaves, especially if you are into military dating. By studying them you can see if you are dating a military man or a scammer. It might take a bit of trial and error because some scammers can be really convincing. But you can still figure things out in the long run, all you need is patience and focus on the matter at hand!

  • How to Make Time for Dating Posted by Admin

    In the 21st century, many different aspects of the world have changed and progressed. Dating happens to fit into that category, but so does working as an efficacious independent, as that has become more popular in today’s society and many people tend to put career ahead of love. With that being said, it may be hard to balance a successful work life with a happy, confident relationship. But what if you want both? This article will be able to help you make time for your perfect happily ever after without giving up your success.

    Make Time for Dating
    Photo credit: Cody Black

    What Does it Mean to Be Successful in Life?

    To define it bluntly, success is “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” Being successful means you are trying to achieve something, and you accomplish it, giving you a proud feeling and sense of accomplishment.

    However, to be successful in life is up to each individual person to decide. There is not one right answer, and there are no wrong answers. Every person can define success differently. The real question you have to ask yourself is what makes you happy?

    To discover your success, you must relate into your personal life, because although success technically has a definition, it is vague. For example, you may have a lot of money, but does that make you reach true happiness? Or is something else missing from your life, like true love?

    The saying, “money can’t buy happiness,” is cliché, but true. True success in your personal life does not necessarily mean it will be measured by physical things such as money or trophies. It can be if that’s what gives you an internal sense of joy, but don’t assume it will. It’s what you will feel makes you emotionally happy.

    You can be wealthy in just more than money. You can be wealthy in love, family, friends, and inner happiness.

    How Do Successful Singles Find Love in Today’s World?

    Online Dating Websites

    With today’s ever-growing technological advancements, there are so many dating websites that you are sure to find one that matches your needs. Some popular ones include the following:

    • MillionaireMatch: The largest and most original millionaire dating site since 2001.
    • Match: One of the first dating websites, serving over 50 countries in 12 languages.
    • eHarmony: A platform go-to for marriage-minded people looking for serious, long-term commitment.
    • ChristianMingle: An online dating service that caters to Christian singles.
    • OKCupid. An internationally operating online dating site featuring multiple-choice questions to match members.  

    Dating Apps

    Similar to websites, apps are used at the palm of your hand. Your phone gives easy access to creating profiles and finding your future partner. You may have heard of some of these:

    • Tinder: Best known for its “swipe right” mantra, this app easily lets you scroll through profiles to meet your match.
    • Grindr: Similar method as Tinder, but for gay men looking for an outlet.
    • Bumble: In this app, women make the first move and are the ones to message their matches within a certain window of time.
    • Facebook Dating: This social network also features its own dating feature that focuses on long-term relationships, similar to the long-term friendships Facebook prides itself on.
    • Her: A dating app meant for lesbian, queer, and bisexual users.

    At a Bar

    A night out with friends can easily turn to an unexpected rendezvous. Bars are a great place to go be social and meet new people. It’s a nonchalant vibe with a drink in hand, so most of your nerves melt away with the liquid courage. And who knows, one of those new people may even turn into your next relationship.

    Ask Your Friends

    Your friends want you to be happy. You already have so much trust in them; why not trust them in finding you someone to potentially go out with? Their judgment of character is already great because they’re friends with you, so put some more faith into them and let them set you up for at least one date.

    Attend Local Events

    Visiting local events not only gets you more involved with your community, but you also begin to recognize the people who live around you. Try going to a flea market, street fair, carnival, or the opening of a new business in town. This is a great way to meet new people.

    Volunteer

    Volunteering is a great way to do some good for the community and meet people who also want to do good for their community. If you meet a future significant other there, you already know they have the same interests as you. It’s a great start!

    Tips on How to Make Time for Dating

    Dating today is not easy, especially when you’re so focused on succeeding in your life through your career. There may not seem like time to date. But there’s always time, you just have to make it. Here are some ways on how:

    Prioritize

    “I’m busy” is just an excuse. If you’re dedicated or passionate about something, you make time for it. Dating is the same. If you’re willing to date, you find time. How? Make a conscious decision that dating is going to be a priority in your life, or else you will keep procrastinating.

    Prioritizing can also include scheduling date nights in your calendar, so you know not to book anything else for those specific times.

    Learn to Be Flexible

    If you’re a planner, this can seem like a tough call. You are so set in your ways and are on such a tight schedule that flexibility doesn’t seem like an option. If this sounds like you, try tricking yourself by “planning” on being flexible. Give yourself time throughout the week as barriers in case something goes unexpectedly. This way you’re not stressing about something you didn’t see coming.

    Set Goals

    Many people have a five-year plan for their career, but not many have them for their love life. What is your goal in a certain amount of time? To be married, engaged, have a family? Or is it simply to be in a better emotional state than you currently are in? Setting these goals leads to the intention of doing the action.

    You can also go a step further and instead of just saying you’re going to do something, make a dream board. Seeing the goals helps to achieve them.

    Date on the Go

    Kill two birds with one stone by dating as you work through your everyday lifestyle. For example, if you do not have time for a long dinner date, integrate a quick lunch date on your work break. Or, go for a walk together as your source of a workout for the day instead of going to the gym. If you’ve been dating this person for a while already, you can even take them to run errands with you. Anything to spend as much time with them as possible is helpful when you’re “too busy” to date.

    Get a Little Help from your Friends

    Although you are strong-minded in many things, you are also your own worst enemy. Having a friend hold you accountable and encourage you in the dating scene can help motivate you to actually go on dates.

    Your friend will be the one giving you advice and letting you vent about the dating scene. It’s helpful to have that reassurance.

    Dating is not easy, and you’re not expected to be a professional at it. Life does get in the way, and your priorities may not have always been about dating. Combining love life with work-life seems near impossible, but there are ways to make sure you get the beautiful love you deserve while maintaining your strong, successful work life. If you are ready and willing, the rest will follow.

  • The Challenges of Dating a Model Posted by Admin

    Dating a model sounds like an amazing idea when you think about it. Having a very attractive person near you is boosting your motivation level, and it also shows others you have great taste. But at the same time, there are pitfalls when it comes to dating a model. You can’t expect things to be amazing for everyone, the truth is that dating a model has its fair share of shortcomings, and you can see that right away.

    Model Dating

    Everyone wants to be with a model

    Yes, people are naturally attracted to what’s beautiful. That means you will have a lot of people trying to be with your model, even if you are in a relationship. It’s the curse of being with a model, there will always be someone trying to take her away from you. Granted, you may not think about that in the beginning, but it becomes apparent.

    It’s always important to trust yourself and your instincts, and also trust her as well. If she loves you, then she will push all the other people away and not accept any flirts. But then again, it depends on the situation and other different factors. At the end of the day, what really matters is to enter a relationship you think really works. If you are the only one passionate about being in the relationship, you will be the one losing.

    Models are high maintenance

    Let’s face it, keeping that amazing look and purchasing expensive fashion products doesn’t come cheap. When you are dating a model, the main problem for a lot of men is the overall high maintenance. You will find yourself spending a lot of money just to be with her and fulfilling all her wishes. Sure, that’s ok if you have lots of money anyway, but if you don’t, this can become very prohibitive. Since most models are known to be high maintenance, this just makes it a lot more difficult for regular men to date a model.

    There are a few times when models don’t care about that, but it’s rare. More often than not, models are very high maintenance, and you will have to accept that if you want to be with a model. Otherwise, it is what it is, and you will have to step away and find another relationship to focus on. That’s all up to you.

    A lot of competition

    If you’re in the beginning stages of dating a model, you will be tired of having so much competition. That’s why most models don’t really care about flirting or anything like that. They have a lot of men already at their feet. If you want to be with her, then you want to show why and how you are different. Otherwise, it will just be a problem, if you’re just like the others you won’t stand out at all.

    That’s valid in general, if you want to grab a woman’s attention, you don’t want to be just like the other candidates. Show her that you are special, interesting and well above the rest. Once you do that, you grab her attention and the results can be staggering if you do it right.

    You’ll be taking care of everything

    And we don’t mean just the bills when you go out. If you date a model, they are known for not having a lot of homemaking skills. That means you will have to take care of pets, clean up your home, cook and so on. Sure, some men naturally like this, but others expect their date to handle them. Models are known to not tackle this type of stuff, so you will have to do it yourself. It’s up to you to figure out if it’s something ok for you or not. That’s why you want to think twice before you start dating a model.

    They are bad at managing money

    Models are usually focused on spending money and living a luxurious life. That’s why some of them end up broke after finishing their modeling career. Even if it sounds great to date a model, the truth is that they usually aren’t great at managing their money. It definitely becomes an issue, and that’s why you want to address it properly and as quickly as possible. That’s definitely why you want to think twice before dating a model, just to be safe.

    Models are rarely home

    The life of a model can be tricky. When you date a model, you have to understand that they are not always at home. In fact, they travel all the time and they are focused mostly on work. It’s still ok for most men, but this is definitely one of the downsides to consider when you are dating a model. It’s important to understand that before you enter a serious relationship with a model.

    You will deal with insecurities and low self-esteem

    When you date a model, you will end up understanding that most of them are complimented solely on their looks. They lack the emotional maturity to focus on something else. They are in constant need of validation, but they rarely validate you. In turn, this leads to a lot of self-esteem problems and issues like that. Even if it might not seem like a lot in the beginning, these problems become very challenging in the long run, and that’s why you want to avoid them.

    Needless to say, dating a model isn’t just roses and butterflies. You will encounter real-life issues that will make the dating process quite a chore. It’s up to you if you are going to stick through this or just move on. Dating a model is definitely not for everyone, but if you do it right, you will be happy in the end. That’s why it’s imperative to understand the pros and cons of dating a model before you actively go through with this. It’s definitely a challenge, but then again it’s something that some men will enjoy!