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Questions & counselor's answers

Q:

I thought I had hit the jackpot when I found this guy on the site from my area. We have been seeing each other often and talk or text every day. Last week he suggested that we both hide our profiles on the site and just concentrate on our relationship. I was thrilled to hear him say this, so I hid mine, but he has not hidden his. Whenever I mention it to him, he says he just hasn’t gotten around to doing it yet. I don’t think he is being honest with me. What do you think?

Q:

I have met this lady from San Antonio. We have been emailing and talking on the phone for a little over a month. Last week the decision was made for her to come to Seattle to visit me. I thought I was doing the right, gentlemanly thing when I offered to pay for her airline ticket and hotel room, but now I think she is taking advantage of the situation. She is very concerned for her safety, so she has asked that I send her the money for the airline ticket and hotel room, so she can make her own arrangements. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable with this. What should I do?

Q:

I just drove 100 miles to meet this woman, who I have been talking to for 3 weeks. I was very disappointed to find out she is 15 years older than what she claimed to be and looked 25 years older than her photos. When I asked her why she had lied about her age, her question to me was, “Would you have come to meet me had you known the truth”? No, I would not have gone to meet her. I am not interested in a woman that is 15 years older than I am. Why can’t people just be honest and not waste others time? Do they think we are so stupid that we might not notice?

Q:

I am a 63 year old widow and I am having a problem grasping this NEW AGE dating stuff. I have been on the site for about 1 month now and have very little contact with men. My friends have told me that I should be contacting some of the men that I am interested in, but I’m not sure that is the proper, ladylike thing to do. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Q:

Sorry to bother you with this but if you are willing to give another girl a few pointers I would appreciate it. Totally new to online dating and saw some of your blogs which scared me but could not find anything on how do you really know. How do I know if someone is a scammer or not? How do I stay safe?

Q:

Thank you for your words of advice. Just having a counselor for the site is awesome. That in itself is worth the price of membership. I met him on another site. There is no way I would pay to visit any guy! But you do bring up a good point about the reason why,(being in control). That is something that I just won't do, visit him in the beginning. I do not believe that he is married. He calls me at different times and frequently on Friday and Saturday nights. My problem is how to approach him coming to see me? I feel like he should be the one to bring it up. If I do, won't that be chasing him? Also, I have thought long and hard about whether or not I want to risk losing him as a friend. I genuinely like him and he has expressed the same. I don't know why he would bother to talk with me for hours each week, it's not like we have phone sex. We are both conservative. He does most of the talking. Can you give me any advice on how to bring the subject up of him coming to meet me, or at least how to find out what his intentions are?

Q:

Hello, I have very low response rate. Would you please give me some feedback on what might have been wrong with a profile.

Q:

Something's wrong! Maybe I should have not listed my occupation as a teacher/counselor (a doctor would be nice, but not true) Maybe because I live in NJ and people have a vision of teased hair, the whold makeup bar at Macys, and stiletto heels. The closest I come to being urban is my Infiniti and Chicos. Check out my profile and let me know if I've put my unpedicured foot in my mouth. Linda

Q:

Hello there, Whenever I login the first page that comes up just says ....... is waiting to hear from you (or something similar). There's nothing personal to me or my profile. Also, I haven't had a single message since I joined 2 weeks ago so I'm starting to think that my profile isn't visible!!! Please help!

Q:

I want to stay around my hometown state for matches. Do you think I need to change the way I have worded my profile? I don't seem to be getting much of a notice.

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