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When do you hide your profile?
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Posted on Fri, Dec 06, 2013 10:27

 

Started communicating with a man who seemed, sane, honest, sincere and looking for a serious relationship. Finally! YAY...

But. He hid his profile before we had our first date. Which put pressure on me to do the same. Even though he didn't ask me to.

This in turn put pressure on the entire "relationship"..

We weren't dating. We were not in a commited relationship. We were very new to eachother.

We ended up having 3 wonderful dates. But it went no further. Hiding a profile before meeting, or even after just a couple of dates is far too soon, I think. It sent out a red flag to me. Which I ignored, because he seemed to be such a great guy.

It was a long distance connection.. He lives in the same state, but not the same city.

How soon is too soon to be hiding profiles?



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Posted on Fri, Jan 17, 2014 16:46

I agree, something isn't right with that - I have never seen that happen before



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Posted on Mon, Dec 09, 2013 10:44

Quoting FitFunBlonde:

@NGL2011

I am definitely ready. And the more I think about this experience. The more I realise I was right to call it off. I was flattered at first, but puzzled as to why somebody would hide their profile to concentrate on someone thay hadn't even met.. I realize now that his profile wasn't hidden exclusively for me. It's just his way of playing the game.. 

Lesson learnt, chalk it up to experience.. moving on :)

@ Fit,,hey your a beautiful woman, I'm sure with a lot to offer the right man. Hang in there woman. Mr Wonderful is right around the corner. Quite frankly I can't believe you made it this long.  LOL



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Posted on Mon, Dec 09, 2013 07:39

@NGL2011

I am definitely ready. And the more I think about this experience. The more I realise I was right to call it off. I was flattered at first, but puzzled as to why somebody would hide their profile to concentrate on someone thay hadn't even met.. I realize now that his profile wasn't hidden exclusively for me. It's just his way of playing the game.. 

Lesson learnt, chalk it up to experience.. moving on :)



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Posted on Mon, Dec 09, 2013 07:28

He made it visible after I "broke up" with him. But just one week later, he's hidden it again!

It might just be his way of doing things. But It was too quick for me. It didn't feel right.

I won't be hiding my profile again. Until a discussion and agreement to an exclusive relationship. After dating for some time and getting to know one another.

To hide your profile before even meeting someone, so you can concentrate on them, is just a little off for me.

And I'm sure most men would run for the hills, never to be heard of again. If I did that to them!! 

Thanks for the replies guys.. all of them appreciated .

 

 



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Posted on Sun, Dec 08, 2013 21:42

Quoting FitFunBlonde:

 

He told me he hid it so he could concentrate on me/us.

Which I though was either sweet and genuine, or a big red flag. Honestly, how would you feel if a woman you had yet to meet, or met only once. Did that to you? Hid her profile and told you she was concentrating solely on you..

Only 3 dates, because I found the entire situation confusing. Everything pointed to him being genuinely interested in developing a relationship with me. But something wasn't quite right.

I'm not the type to jump into anything. But I jumped in happily. Then found myself questioning absolutely everything. I think it was all too much too soon..

I have no problem hiding my profile and concentrating on one man. A srious relation is the reason I'm on this site. But not until we're in an exclusive relationship which has reached that point, because we have developed an emotional connection and believe we might have a future together. 

 I don't believe that happens, after a few emails, before you've met. Or after one meeting..

Am curious what other women think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

It could had been that he was dating someone else then he wanted to go more serious, he hide his profile because of her and told you it was for you to keep you as bakup.

 

I think this because is not normal that: 1) someone knows that want go more serious after 3 dates, 2) if he actually knows after 3 dates that he wanted to go more serious he wouldn’t fade out for nothing.

 

Sorry this is just my believe, I could be wrong.

 

Next time if you don’t feel comfortable with something please let them know, you are part of the relationship as well,

 

Best luck!!

 

 

 



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Posted on Sun, Dec 08, 2013 17:06

Quoting FitFunBlonde:

@NGL2011 and Jenknee

 

Thank you for the replies.

 

I did tell him that it was too early for me to hide my profile, that I take things slowly. But then thought if he's willing to do it, maybe I should too. Lets give this a chance. But that was a mistake and things went downhill, for me, from there. I kept questioning and analizing everything..

It didn't help that he lived hours away and is extremely busy.

The replies I've received have suprised me. I thought I'd get " Big red flag" but actually got quite the opposite.

Maybe I've become so cynical having met absolutely nobody with an ounce of sincerity on this site in all the years I've been on here. That when he did finally came along, I freaked out and didn't give him/us a chance.

I am ready for a relationship. But have not been in one for a number of years. And had pretty much given up hope of ever meeting a man I had even the remotest interest in dating..

And what do I do when he shows up. I freak out and run :(

 

Thanks for the replies guys.. helped me a lot..

 

@Fit,, glad you are willing to look at it with an open mind. In all my time here, I can say this with a ton of confidence,, most women on this site are in the same boat as you,, men too I'm sure. They just think they are ready.

 

Hi Jen !  LOL



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Posted on Sun, Dec 08, 2013 05:14

@NGL2011 and Jenknee

 

Thank you for the replies.

 

I did tell him that it was too early for me to hide my profile, that I take things slowly. But then thought if he's willing to do it, maybe I should too. Lets give this a chance. But that was a mistake and things went downhill, for me, from there. I kept questioning and analizing everything..

It didn't help that he lived hours away and is extremely busy.

The replies I've received have suprised me. I thought I'd get " Big red flag" but actually got quite the opposite.

Maybe I've become so cynical having met absolutely nobody with an ounce of sincerity on this site in all the years I've been on here. That when he did finally came along, I freaked out and didn't give him/us a chance.

I am ready for a relationship. But have not been in one for a number of years. And had pretty much given up hope of ever meeting a man I had even the remotest interest in dating..

And what do I do when he shows up. I freak out and run :(

 

Thanks for the replies guys.. helped me a lot..

 



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Posted on Sat, Dec 07, 2013 21:28

Quoting FitFunBlonde:

 

He told me he hid it so he could concentrate on me/us.

Which I though was either sweet and genuine, or a big red flag. Honestly, how would you feel if a woman you had yet to meet, or met only once. Did that to you? Hid her profile and told you she was concentrating solely on you..

Only 3 dates, because I found the entire situation confusing. Everything pointed to him being genuinely interested in developing a relationship with me. But something wasn't quite right.

I'm not the type to jump into anything. But I jumped in happily. Then found myself questioning absolutely everything. I think it was all too much too soon..

I have no problem hiding my profile and concentrating on one man. A srious relation is the reason I'm on this site. But not until we're in an exclusive relationship which has reached that point, because we have developed an emotional connection and believe we might have a future together. 

 I don't believe that happens, after a few emails, before you've met. Or after one meeting..

Am curious what other women think?

 

 

 

 

 

You said you were questioning and SOMETHING wasn't quite right. Well why on Earth did u not stick around to find the answers!!!  You just gave up after 3 wonderful dates!? There is no way I would have given up after 3 wonderful dates or even one wonderful date! I don't like mysteries and if someone has potential I am going to carry it through to either a great beginning or an ending.


 

Just because someone early on decides to hide their profile does not mean you should. In  fact , many men get scared and run for the hills once you hide your profile or even put them in your favorites, which I find ridiculous. 




Bottom line is if there is any questioning to be done, it is questioning you. Maybe you're not ready to have a relationship?

 



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Posted on Sat, Dec 07, 2013 16:39

Quoting FitFunBlonde:

 

He told me he hid it so he could concentrate on me/us.

Which I though was either sweet and genuine, or a big red flag. Honestly, how would you feel if a woman you had yet to meet, or met only once. Did that to you? Hid her profile and told you she was concentrating solely on you..

Only 3 dates, because I found the entire situation confusing. Everything pointed to him being genuinely interested in developing a relationship with me. But something wasn't quite right.

I'm not the type to jump into anything. But I jumped in happily. Then found myself questioning absolutely everything. I think it was all too much too soon..

I have no problem hiding my profile and concentrating on one man. A srious relation is the reason I'm on this site. But not until we're in an exclusive relationship which has reached that point, because we have developed an emotional connection and believe we might have a future together. 

 I don't believe that happens, after a few emails, before you've met. Or after one meeting..

Am curious what other women think?

 

 

 

 

 

@ Fit, you asked, " Honestly, how would you feel if a woman you had yet to meet, or met only once. Did that to you? Hid her profile and told you she was concentrating solely on you.."

 

Well if you want me to be totally honest, I will. I would have been open and honest and told her that all relationships I get involved in go at a very slow and controlled pace. Now I'm flattered that you would "Hide" your profile, but to me it's a little premature for that.

 

This is  not an insult to you at all, just part of the confusion us Men go through. We had 3 "Wonderful Dates" then you break it off, for not feeling right about something. Men just can't win,, one women will complain, hey your profiles still up after 3 wonderful dates,, and one will say,, hey you know,, because you took your profile down to soon,, I think your a freak and I don't want to see you again... and you wonder why some guys are called Players,,, we can't win !

 

It's just like, I was reading on the IM chat the other day. This women was all excited to meet this guy,,they met, had a great time, he treated her like a queen and was very respectful. Well she's not going to see him again, because she's not ready to be treated that way. I about spit out my drink laughing,,, and women say men are messed up !  LOL



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Posted on Sat, Dec 07, 2013 15:03

@julianuk I can understand hiding your profile to concentrate on one person and allow a relationship to develop. It says " I'm no longer available. I'm in a relationship. I'm not open to meeting other people at this time"..

I can't understand hiding your profile however, before you've reached the conclusion together, that you have a strong connection and decide to enter an exclusive relationship.  You discuss it and decide together to take that step in your relationship...



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Posted on Sat, Dec 07, 2013 14:51

 

He told me he hid it so he could concentrate on me/us.

Which I though was either sweet and genuine, or a big red flag. Honestly, how would you feel if a woman you had yet to meet, or met only once. Did that to you? Hid her profile and told you she was concentrating solely on you..

Only 3 dates, because I found the entire situation confusing. Everything pointed to him being genuinely interested in developing a relationship with me. But something wasn't quite right.

I'm not the type to jump into anything. But I jumped in happily. Then found myself questioning absolutely everything. I think it was all too much too soon..

I have no problem hiding my profile and concentrating on one man. A srious relation is the reason I'm on this site. But not until we're in an exclusive relationship which has reached that point, because we have developed an emotional connection and believe we might have a future together. 

 I don't believe that happens, after a few emails, before you've met. Or after one meeting..

Am curious what other women think?

 

 

 

 

 



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Posted on Sat, Dec 07, 2013 13:53

@Fit,, did you ask him why he hid his profile ?

I don't understand why him doing so put pressure on you ?

Why didn't it go any further than 3 wonderful dates ?

 

so many questions ! but one thing I know for sure, clear communication is always needed.



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