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Why do people go on a dating site and hide their picture???
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Posted on Tue, Jun 18, 2013 06:10

I am trying to find someone I will be attracted to.  The physical aspect of a relationship is a critical part of this.  I don't need a model, but if I am turned off by someone's physique, I don't want to waste time chatting for weeks only to later find out I'm not attracted.  Generally, if I see someone's picture, I can tell if there is a possibility for me to be attracted and that's all I'm looking for from a photo.  So why do so many men not put up their photos?  Especially in this day and age when practically every phone has a camera on it?



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Posted on Mon, Oct 14, 2013 11:50

Because I am scared after seeing so many air-brushed and professional photo's.  Live in hope that profile may mean more than visual contacts after seeing some of the comments....i.e. "i like you" quite vile really without anymore than a brief sketch of oneself...." x



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Posted on Tue, Aug 13, 2013 20:08



How lovely for you to respond to my comment.  Thank you.  I'm a free member and I can't make contact, I joined the site to blog and write in my spare time.  As a result I posted my picture to invite contact.  May I explain why your pic is so important, ladies want to get to know you and your pic is apart of the way we feel COMFORT IN MAKING CONTACT.  I'm 5'8, I've dated a sweet and intelligent man whose 5'6", I've dated men who were handsome, I’ve dated men who were rugged and in their sixties, I've dated a man with hair and a man who's bald.  What they all have in common, was they all had kind eyes.
I want to see your picture because as in everything, I want my impression of your spirit to match my impression of your appearance.  I'm in my forties; I've long lost my place in hierarchy in attractiveness as to excuse my personality.  Now, ageing and fully blossomed into my femininity (another way to say I'm getting older) I'm much more interested in a mans capacity for kindness and a desire to be honoring of me.  
You see, your picture allows us ladies to receive you and makes it comfortable to approach you.  It's about comfort and the ability to relate to you.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 11, 2013 20:40

greenkindeyes, I made my comment after this conclusion about those of us without pictures:
"For the majority? (Not, but most,) It shows a lack of either self-esteem, is paranoid, holds an ineptness in what dating is really about, or HE/SHE is downright hidng something..."
In addition to this, we had the facts of life explained to us as if we were children or mentally retarded.  We were also told to "GET OVER IT!!" with capital letters and exclamation points.  These drastic conclusions and assumptions about a group of total strangers seemed silly to me.  

I can't be angry or pleased at your own comment, simply because I don't know what "No one is interested deliberately dispelled" means.  Since you think that it's better to be disqualified initially than to make an initial investment, you can refuse to make that initial investment in anyone without a picture.  Your problem is thus solved.
We are all independent adults here.  We each have the right to decide whether to post pictures.  
There are literally thousands of members with pictures, more than you will ever have time to look at.   You are free to skip over all of the pictureless people, just like you can skip over tall people or short people or any other kind of people.



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Posted on Wed, Aug 07, 2013 07:24

If s/he posted taken 10 years ago. It would be dishonest too and it seemes like many are doing that.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 19:05

I normally pass a profile by if there is not photo but I feel I must share an experience with my fellow bloggers.

A man (with no photo) contacted me a year ago.  We exchanged a few emails and I finally asked him why he does not post a photo.  He said he is a retired government agent and did not want to post  his photo on the dating site.  I requested a photo and he emailed it to me immediately.  This man was gorgeous!!

We emailed and talked for a good month before finally meeting in person.  We shared 6 wonderful months together and still remain great friends.

Just goes to show there could be a good reason why a woman/man does not have a photo.   Posting a photo is a personal choice and should be respected.  You have the choice to pass them by or ask him/her for a photo.  Who knows........you might be pleasantly surprised............:)



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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 13:21

Quoting Good2BTheKing:

speaking just for me, I understand perfectly why you want men to post pictures.  I just don't want to.  If that makes you skip over me or if you jump to a lot of silly conclusions about my personality because of that, that's your problem.  Maybe some of you need to "get over" your anger at something so trivial.

Your comment is angry.  No one is interested deliberately dispelled after writing and making contact only to discover there's not an attraction.  Rejection doesn't feel good, better to be disqualified initially then to make any investment.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 13:16

Quoting Soulmate1000000:

I am trying to find someone I will be attracted to.  The physical aspect of a relationship is a critical part of this.  I don't need a model, but if I am turned off by someone's physique, I don't want to waste time chatting for weeks only to later find out I'm not attracted.  Generally, if I see someone's picture, I can tell if there is a possibility for me to be attracted and that's all I'm looking for from a photo.  So why do so many men not put up their photos?  Especially in this day and age when practically every phone has a camera on it?

THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING UP AND ASKING THIS QUESTION!  Honestly, it's dishonest to hide your pic.  Isn't this a dating site?



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Posted on Sat, Jul 06, 2013 15:57

Quoting Good2BTheKing:

speaking just for me, I understand perfectly why you want men to post pictures.  I just don't want to.  If that makes you skip over me or if you jump to a lot of silly conclusions about my personality because of that, that's your problem.  Maybe some of you need to "get over" your anger at something so trivial.


GOOD2BEKING--

Hello again---

I just saw you in the blog section... 

KING- You say, you just don't "want to," in posting photos.

I do not jump to conclusions a man is married if he has no photo. In fact, in all seriousness, I have found married men on date sites are often more honest in what they seek. Most have come straight away and said, "I'm married, looking for sex, not to change anything." 

To consider a photo as "Trivial" would be fine, say, if this were an online job interview; but, it isn't. It's a date site. Men date women and women date men, or even men date men, etc...  due to INITIAL attraction. Initial attraction has to do with LOOKS, not how nice someone is. 

I know plenty of nice men, however, I am not attracted to them in a physical manner, therefore have no desire for them to shove their tongue down my throat. ;)
Therefore, they remain in my "friend" category. 

Date sites are to find an INTIMATE MATE, not a new friend you have no desire to cuddle with. 

Looks matter, and if you are under the assumption only men are visual, you have been sadly led astray. 

KING- I don't get "angry" when I see no photos. In fact, I don't get "anything." I merely don't bother to look since I already have plenty of men in my life I don't desire intimacy with and there are far too many men with photos to scower through already.

I did just view your profile. You state you seek a "hot, good looking or very good looking" woman. How many women do you write with no photos? How is it you think you will be attracted to a woman if you don't know what she looks like? Are you the only man in the world who is not visual? ;)

I care what a man looks like. I desire a man I FIND attractive physically, and you just can't accomplish this with no photo... 

Consider me curious---- I'm interested in your thoughts... 

~~Hope~~



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Posted on Sat, Jul 06, 2013 06:19

Because they're married and don't want anyone to recognize them.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 03, 2013 20:43

Agree!



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Posted on Wed, Jun 26, 2013 08:48

Perhaps they have a huge wart on their nose or hairs growing out of their ears (hahahaha).  For whatever reason it is their preference.  If you are truly interested in someone (and he/she does not have a photo) email them and ask for a photo.  That is an option on this site and I have used it several times.
Good luck in your searches everyone....:)



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Posted on Wed, Jun 26, 2013 04:13

speaking just for me, I understand perfectly why you want men to post pictures.  I just don't want to.  If that makes you skip over me or if you jump to a lot of silly conclusions about my personality because of that, that's your problem.  Maybe some of you need to "get over" your anger at something so trivial.



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Posted on Thu, Jun 20, 2013 19:55

Lots of reasons people hide....I actually took mine down because my ex looked at me and i started getting spam emails by the dozen.I figured out how to block him and then put my photo back up. I get a lot of men who email without photos and i dont even answer and yes some send notes saying there married and want to meet for just date's i find it repulsive.



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Posted on Tue, Jun 18, 2013 21:42

Various reasons depending on the individual.  Some men, for example, are married and don't want their wife to see.  Some don't feel attractive. Some want their privacy and don't want coworkers or family to see them. I'm sure there are more reasons.



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Posted on Tue, Jun 18, 2013 21:06

AMEN!! 

It's ridiculous so many feel they will be embarrassed if co workers see them, etc.. 

GET OVER IT!! 

IF you want a date, post a photo or 2!! 

THIS IS A DATING / MATING SITE.... 

For the majority? (Not all, but most,) It shows a lack of either self-esteem, is paranoid, holds an ineptness in what dating is really about, or HE/SHE is downright hiding something..  

As they say, 'S*** or get off the pot!" LOL... 

WELCOME TO THE BLOGS NEWBIE! May you find what you seek!! :)



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