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Do men like to date women with children?
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Posted on Sun, Oct 21, 2012 18:07

I am widowed with 3 young children. Never expecting to be dating again at 40, I would be interested in what men really think? Thanks for your thoughts.



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Posted on Tue, Aug 06, 2013 15:22

Quoting Jenkneee:

The OP wanted male opinions only but I will add my two cents anyway :)

There are all types out there who want or don't want kids in their partners.  I see it all but for me personally, I prefer someone with no kids or as a second choice, grown kids. What I see is a lot of men in their 40's and some in their 50's who have young children. I raised mine and she has been out of the house for several years now. I want someone who has as much time for me as I have for them. Any good father will devote a lot of time to their children and while I appreciate a good father, I'm done with the raising children part of my life and want him to be done too. I do take every person on an individual basis though and I may find exceptions.



A sidenote; I have a few girlfriends with "problem children". I hate to put any child into that category but it is realistic and it will affect any relationship that mother will ever have for years to come if not permanently. They should caution anyone of their situation and after the caution sign, if i were in their shoes, I would find the nearest exit. I am thinking of one in particular, the son has an arrest record and is on probation. He just turned 18 and if he gets in trouble again, it will probably mean jailtime for him. Why put up with it when you can avoid it? Just sayin'. That may sound harsh but men want to avoid drama,..I get it.



For you, OP, i'm sorry for your loss. There is someone who will love your kids and you!! Search and you will find, in the meantime enjoy your kids, they grow up so fast!


Jenkneee,
I couldn't agree more and stay away from the firefighters too.....their trouble with a  capital T.  I've known a few on a friendship level, but I have had friends who have dated them,  not husband material.

Older men with young kids...I will not date.  I raised four and their all adults now...thank goodness.  I graduated to the dating life when my youngest graduated high school...I found out quickly, how much more you are desired when the children have left the nest.  Not that kids are not a blessing from God...because all of mine truly are, I'm just thankful that God is blessing my life now with the opportunity to live this third stage of my life with a man where we can devote our time to eachother..and not all of the Saturdays at the baseball field.   My daughter did rock at middle outfield though!!

No drama...I think all of us successful parents deserve this phase in our lives.  :)

To the OP...you have the opportunity to meet some of these guys who also have kids, I did.  He was a gem, but we found early on that our "raising children practices"...deferred, but the ones who you can agree with...their out there!

Beware of men who don't have children like yourself...I truly believe the saying is true..."if you haven't walk a mile in my shoes, you have no idea what your getting yourself into".  Which doesn't mean bad, it means you have a lot of love in you and patience...children teach you patience,  the love and connection, is like nothing else in the world!   Many who have never experienced children...don't understand.

My best to you!  I have walked a million miles in your shoes,  raising four on my own....would never change a SINGLE moment!

Mtnsunny



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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 23:33

Gotta add this cuz it just happened. The perfect example of what I don't want. He just messaged me on another site.


Strike 1- He's a firefighter, gone half the time including long nights without him. If it's fire season, it could be worse.


Strike 2- Has a dangerous job.


Strike 3 and he's out.  He's 50 years old and has 2 kids he shares custody of, they are 4 & 5 years old.



Ha! I screwed up and mixed 2 guy's profiles somewhat together. I did get two in a row.  Yes , one was a firefighter that I'm not interested in but the one with the two young kids, it's even worse than a firefighter, he's in the military!! uggh!  I would take a trustworthy firefighter with no young kids, any combo of the rest? No thank-you.


Got another one; 51 years old, his 2 kids appear to be about the same as the the first guy. Maybe I should send them over to the OP?



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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 15:10

The OP wanted male opinions only but I will add my two cents anyway :)

There are all types out there who want or don't want kids in their partners.  I see it all but for me personally, I prefer someone with no kids or as a second choice, grown kids. What I see is a lot of men in their 40's and some in their 50's who have young children. I raised mine and she has been out of the house for several years now. I want someone who has as much time for me as I have for them. Any good father will devote a lot of time to their children and while I appreciate a good father, I'm done with the raising children part of my life and want him to be done too. I do take every person on an individual basis though and I may find exceptions.



A sidenote; I have a few girlfriends with "problem children". I hate to put any child into that category but it is realistic and it will affect any relationship that mother will ever have for years to come if not permanently. They should caution anyone of their situation and after the caution sign, if i were in their shoes, I would find the nearest exit. I am thinking of one in particular, the son has an arrest record and is on probation. He just turned 18 and if he gets in trouble again, it will probably mean jailtime for him. Why put up with it when you can avoid it? Just sayin'. That may sound harsh but men want to avoid drama,..I get it.



For you, OP, i'm sorry for your loss. There is someone who will love your kids and you!! Search and you will find, in the meantime enjoy your kids, they grow up so fast!

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Posted on Sun, Aug 04, 2013 20:51

personally, I prefer in many instances, to date a woman that has a child/children.. I have a son of my own and women with children tend to understand that  your child has to come first in your life.. second, in my experience, a woman that has a childknows what it means to put the interest of someone else above your own....  just my thoughts...



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Posted on Sun, Aug 04, 2013 19:46

I have to agree with fatherof2. I've dated people who love children. Mother again, I don't ever bring up my child in this scenario unless I know it's serious and its going in a direction he and I both want. So hold your heads high. The guys that don't stick around just want to mess around. I had to learn the hard way. And another thing, it should be a tng to lightly broach when you have a conversation with him just so you know where he stands.



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Posted on Thu, Apr 04, 2013 10:17

I am 26 with a 3 year old, I think there is not alot of men who would date women like us.



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Posted on Tue, Feb 05, 2013 20:29

Thanks for your honesty, fatherof2.  I think it all depends on what people want.  I find that men who are recovering from a divorce of a 20+ year marriage want fun and that's about it.  Thoughts?



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Posted on Wed, Nov 21, 2012 00:50

honestly?
#1  if all they want is 1 night, they will walk away.
( if we are on date and you take us home and there are kids,
its a lot of pressure that we will automatically be a father  IF WE STAY)
#2  if your kids are brats that are totally out of control (no discipline).......they will walk
ALMOST -NO MAN WILL WANT THAT MESS, you better be very hot/sexy
or incredibly rich for us to put up with that!
#3  if they dont like or want kids ............

other than the above.....KIDS ARE FINE, i promise.



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Posted on Tue, Nov 20, 2012 20:01

Well, this question has been avoided hasn't it?  In my opinion, most men 40 and over do not want to date women with children or children who live at home.  Very easy answer!  Hate to say it, but the answer is no.



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