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Posted on Wed, Aug 29, 2012 09:14

I think most of those 12 are categorical opposites of Dr. John Gottmans 4 Horsemen which he basically describes as:

  • The first horseman in a relationship is criticism
  • The second horseman is contempt
  • The third horseman is defensiveness
  • The fourth horseman is stonewalling

According to Gottman, the presence of any two is almost a sure sign of impending divorce while the presence of all 4 means the relationship is too far gone to repair.  The exception is that if #'s 3 and 4 are the only two, often times a committed couple can work things out.

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