4Ever, I think that you hit the nail on the head when you used the term "sane". Just my opinion, but I think that the "trap" is the most common reason that women will have sex on a first date. And any woman who is trying to trap a man is not sane. Let's face it, it is much tougher to walk away from someone that you shared intimacy with. An emotinal bond is formed even if the two people are only slightly attracted to each other. How does the saying go? Women need to feel loved to have sex while men need to have sex to feel loved. Obviously if a woman has sex on a first date, she is not feeling loved (at least true love) but certainly forming an emotional bond with the man. Contrary to popular belief, most educated, sane men do not respect a woman who wants to have sex on a first date.
In my opinion, women who have sex on the first date are either intoxicated, gave in to pressure, or want to trap someone. I don't know any sane woman who will have sex on the first date. Now if the date is someone you have known for years and the two of you decided to go out and something happened, in my opinion that is not so bad because there is a history there.
EASYMAN... (HaHa.. Look.. the beginning of your name denotes I can use "social control".. Heehee) I will have to read the book! Thank you... Was considering that GREY thing... But due to my past.. .Not so sure that is a road I wish to venture... I think I've already lived parts of it! LOL...
BEPOSITIVE.. :) You know "the Princess".. LOL.. Just shoot things from the heart.. I in no way wish to infer these behaviors are "socially, morally or even individually right choices"... BUT... I totally feel when viewing others actions (and our own of course) we should view what lies beneath... I guess I am kind of like the little 5 year old that takes the radio apart to "see how it works..." Mom walks in and says... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW!! LOL... Those kids BTW turn out to be successful electrical engoneers! Ha! I just feel if I can UNDERSTAND THE WHY.... Then I am better able to "accept" the WHO...
I am finally realizing at 45.. I mean um.. 26! Oh that's right... The therapist said I need to at minimum say I was 36! Bwahahaha... Jeez.. this whole aging thing.. *Rolls eyes.. stomps foot!! .... Well, I am finally realizing just how strong I really am.. as well as how my self-esteem (lack there of) and abuse has assisted me in some very poor decision making in my time. I'd rather assist the misguided ones... Not further their deterioration in society by berating them.. Something tells me they hve had enough of that in their time.. and now need to "reshape" their minds"...
So for all you "SLUTS" and "WHORES".... Here's a song just for you... My daughters and I are huge Taylor fans... Remember not to give your love away like it's "extra change".... YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE! And I should know.... cuz I was once a little "loose".. and look at me now... I'M A PRINCESS! ;) http://youtu.be/5ob2NTWI1C0
Hoping4......you should be very proud of what you have accomplished in your life and very proud of your children. I loved reading your post....it shows wisdom, strength and courage. Your kids are blessed to have you. I have a feeling love will find you shortly...:)
just an ORDINAL NUMBER
and decribes only position
and way wich leads
to CARDINAL mistake girl may do if comes to SECOND OR THIRD (DATE)..
Is that SAME RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT THAT ALSO 1/3 OF MEN HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE ( COZ THAT 1/3 OF WOMEN HAD TO HAVE SEX WITH 1/3 OF MAN
) OR SOME OTHER STUDY COULD SHOW THAT 1/3 OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WITH THIS EXPERIMENTAL 1/3 OF WOMEN +
WITH 2/3 REGULAR WOMEN
( WHICH WERE NOT INCLUDED IN THIS RESEARCHES)..of course, scientist are not interestedi in ordinal and cardinal numbers of men!
In this case ,i mean - in this researche MEN ARE JUST A FACILITIES , WOMEN are MATHEMATICAL DATA AND THIS TOPIC IS JUST A SPITOON FOR MATHEMATICAL DATA! HEY, SAINTS, DONT YOU KNOW THAT OLD TINA S HIT : " IT TAKES 2 BABE"!!!! COME ON, THIS 1/3 OF WOMEN WERE NOT MASURBATED!
@Hoping - you should read and then have your daughters read "Queen Bees and Wanna Bes" - it will forever change their lives and it specifically addresses how girls use slut and whore as a form of social control.
I don't know about that 1/3... I gave up on that a long, long time ago. I find that holding off allows me to get to know the person better and break it off if they're not a match... I make fewer mistakes that way.
Personally, I never place a lot of stock in "statistics"...
The ones who are doing it say no.. The ones who aren't, say yes! LOL
I overheard my daughters conversating one day regarding a girl at my eldest daughters school. They were talking about her being a "slut."
I sat with my daughters on the bed that day and told them my thoughts.
It went something like this...
"You know girls.. I feel in my heart, the words slut and whore are just filthy, degrading words people use to describe something they don't understand. What does PROMISCUITY mean to me? Promiscuity is about a girls misguided need for love and acceptance. Perhaps she doesn't have parents who love and accept her at home like you do .. Perhaps she has parents who constantly belittle her and tell her how bad she is, that she is too unworthy to love. . Or perhaps they don't bother to tell her anything, neglecting her all these years? Or perhaps she has had an abusive past where men (or women) have taken advantage of her sexually and now she has a long struggle to recover the beautiful person she would have been because someone has stolen her youth? My point is... Do you know what this girl has endured in her life to so harshly judge her? Perhaps it would serve her better to be held by her hand by beautiful, loving people LIKE YOU... and shown she is WORTH SO MUCH MORE... But no one has ever told her this before? Do you know if her father, brothers or uncles or family friends have ever touched her and now she is confused and just seeking attention in the only form she has ever been shown?"
I then proceeded to tell my beautiful daughters .. "I was with your father the first night I met him... Not something I am proud of... But I was pretty messed u searching for love and acceptance myself and I felt the chemistry was so incerdible and I was lonlely and seeking someone to love me, as all my life people always left.. starting with my mother... So despite our divorce, we share 3 beautiful, wonderful children and many of the best years of my life together. See, I was one of those lonely, misguided girls long ago, just "giving it away" in a quest to feel needed and loved. The difference? I was just lucky that when your father told me he thought I was a beautiful girl... he meant it.. from the INSIDE.. and wasn't like most others just trying to get in my pants."
I once heard.. Be careful of how you treat others.. We meet the same crows going up as we do when coming down...
Jesus did not berate the woman at the well, nor did he cast the first.. or ANY stones at the adultress when the priest were trying to harm her. Instead He said, "Let he who is without sin.. cast the first stone.."
Just something I feel we all would serve to remember...
You go Jen......my thoughts exactly. As responsible adults you would think they knew better. It is unfortunate that some men and women use dating sites for "sex hook ups". Many are easy to spot since they bring sex into the conversation on their first chat or email. Oh well, weed through them, block them and move on......NEXT!!