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Why the arm candy over true lifelong love w/someone average?
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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2012 22:18

I am a larger size woman. I am 40 yrs old 5'5 at 190 lbs. about a size 16. When I was younger I was so skinny people thought I was anorexic, I was 5'5 at 100 lbs. That was a long time ago before I ever had any kids. Now I am my current weight and people look at it as plus size but yet I am happier in my own skin moreso now than when I was skinny. I was very insecure back then.

I would be willing to loose weight if I had the opportunity to have a personal trainer however I personally think someone should love me for me not judge me by my extra weight. They would have to love me for me 1st:)
It is so crazy that most men on this site want a woman that is much younger than themself and thin. I'm not saying this cause Im full figured but to me its very shallow. I read by another post that "We are first and foremost visual creatures and if we are not attracted to you we are not interested in you. An overweight woman does not fit with the lifestyle or image that a successful man wants and needs to portray.". That is obsured. Do you really think that that skinny model/arm candy is gonna be by your side when you get sick? She will end up hiring someone to take care of you while she's bumping the pool boy and out spending all your money finding every excuse not to be there for you when your ailing. Then when you die, your family will be mad that she gets it all to live with her next husband. Im sorry guys but with all the money you have, use your friggin brain. You may want to impress everyone around you by having such a hot woman on your arm but REALLY everyone is looking at you like, "ok, she's using him for the money" and she WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO HEAR so she can get some of what you have. Alot of them are out screwing other men while you are out working long hours, out of state, country whatever to make that money. And another thing, they either won't want to bear your child in fear of losing that figure OR they will like asap so they will have a guarenteed check for the next 18 yrs.So you men need to open up your eyes if you wish

So, tell me, why is it so important to have that perfect image when you could have TRUE LOVE by someone who is moreso "average looking" or "full figured"? AND would be there no matter what and NOT have to hire someone to wipe your butt when and if your ailing. Are you that shallow minded? If you are, then you will get a shallow minded female on your arm and have a WONDERFUL future with that.

Thank you for reading, my point exactly:) I apologize for this blog being so lengthy, just trying to understand.=)Please hope some of this will make you guys think.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 25, 2012 09:42

I agree different people have different attractions. Don't worry about weight, when the right man comes along he won't mind if you have curves. 
If you look around you when you are out there are couples that vary in beauty, weight, etc and they are happy together.



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Posted on Sat, Sep 01, 2012 21:39

HI SOUL1TOSOUL2.. 
I've never ventured to this spot in the forum.. Nice to meet you... :)
I am going to stand in agreement with EASYMAN here.. ATTRACTION is what begins a "mating" relationship.. If I am not attracted to a man physically, it DOESN'T MATTER how nice he is, how much money he has or what he drives... If I'm not attracted.. it NEVER BEGINS.... 
I was in advertising for years and I try to make certain I review a bloggers profile before responding. In your "ad" you cleary state you don't approach others. I feel this may hinder you further to not finding what you seek. I am pretty much a "loner".. but I speak to "strangers" all the time.. whether it be standing in the grocery line, hiking in Carolina or just smiling as someone passes. POSITIVE actions receive POSITIVE feedback.. 
I also wanted to say what I feel men might think.. (of course I am not a man.. BUT.. ) I think men might feel if a woman has not taken proper care of herself.. what kind of care she will she grant him? He may also think... If she continues her cycle... will she leave me due to a heart attack or stroke 15 years down the road? Or he might think... I already struggle w/ my weight due to age, lifestyle etc.. to keep it off.. If I consider her as I DO like her... but where will that leave me 5 years down the road? Will I be 20 lbs heavier and not like myself? Those are just a few things that cross my mind...
I find your commentary on "eye candy" to be extremely biased and not full of truth as well as a wee bit angry (due to frustration I am certain.. and dating can be frustrating to ALL! LOL..) 
SOUL.. Not all women who have taken pride in their appearance are 20 or 30 year old "eye candy" seeking a paycheck.... (and no all "youngins" are seeking a paycheck!) There are women who are older, have had several children and they hit the gym daily while managing to shlep kids around, pack lunches and hit the office after battling traffic. One needn't a personal trainer or even a gym to get in shape.. One's appearance is merely a matter of where they place their priority.. Most men (and women) are going to "prefer" the "look" of a woman who has that priority. And just B/C a woman looks good does not negate the fact she may have a great heart, love her man and wipe him clean in old age.. I once worked as a Patient Care Tech and took care of elderly for $7.00 an hour.. BACK BREAKING WORK! If I did that for strangers.... I guarantee I will take care of the man I love later in life.. so please look more to yourself on this issue as you can claim to be more secure in your own skin now than ever.. (I relate to this.. it happens the older we get..) But I seriously do not get the feeling you are as happy in your skin as you wish... If you were, I dont think you would begrudge women who take care of themselves, as not all women who are thin are gold diggers... And you know what.. You have more reason to feel blessed when a man does find you.. Because you will know he loves YOU.. from the inside.. and not just a man hot and bothered by your "looks" who could care les who you really are .. inside..
Sign me...
Hope.. 45 year old Mother of 3 / Size 3 /  who desires the same as you.. A man who will love me and accept me .. just as I am... (See.. we really aren't all that dfferent.. ) 
PS.. I wish to pay you an EXCELLENT compliment as well, as you digest my thoughts.. SOUL.. I have dated tons of men in my 13 years of divorce in between relationships.. I applaud you for putting yourself out there and saying.. "I am a plus size and should lose some weight." My children's father told me a couple of weeks ago he met a woman who was over 40 lbs heavier than her picture when they met! He told her he didn't even recognize her! She said, "If you want to leave now, you can." He said no and bought her lunch anyway. (I was sooo proud of him!)  Turns out she told him she knew she was fraudulent but felt no one would meet her had she placed recent photos.. SOUL.. I hear this ALL the time from men.. So good for you!! for embracing who you are.. I just think you may be a little in denial about "how" truly secure you are.. or you wouldn't be so bitter against men for being "shallow- visualizers.." I mean.. "MEN" havent' changed since before your child bearing years.. They've always been the same. It was you that did the changing.. You can't have both sides.. ;)
Don't wait for "the man" you want to change for.. Change for you, your children and your future grandchildren... Weight issues only get worse if they are not addressed... Heart disease, heart attacks, strokes, diabetis... The list goes on.. You don't need a man to make your "worth" in order to get to a healthy weight! You are worth it.. NOW!!  JMHO.. 
*** My apologies if I have hurt your feelings or offended.. I am a work in progress myself and am learning (trying to learn) more tactful ways to address my thoughts..



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Posted on Thu, Aug 30, 2012 13:21

That was me that made that comment but you are applying your own insecurities to it.

Men are no different than women.  If you're not attracted you don't care how smart we are or how nice we are or in most cases how rich we are... if you're not attracted, then the rest doesn't matter.

Having said that, men have more varied tastes in women than their are stars in the sky... few men have just ONE type.  An average looking woman can have one attribute that drives a man insane while a beautiful woman can generate nothing more than a long look.



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