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Why is it so hard to find true love?
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Posted on Thu, May 31, 2012 11:19

It seems people do not believe in love these days any more.
It is so simple and we make it so complicated somehow.
We are here in this life because of love and we need to love and to be loved.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 17, 2012 01:18

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! I don't expect love in return. I just wait for it to grow in your  heart but if it doesn't, I am content it grew in my.
As much as you give as much you will recive, even more...
Good luck to all



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Posted on Sat, Nov 03, 2012 12:57

LOVE I WISH PERSON MEAN IT WHEN THEY SAY IT. LOVE IS A BIG WORD TO ME WITH ALOT OF MEANING. IF I TELL SOMEONE I LOVE THEM IT IS GENUINE, IT COMES STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART.N0WADAYS YOU HAVE PERSON SAYING THAT THEY LOVE YOU AND THEY DONT. THEY WILL SING ON IT LIKE A SONG. IM A CANCERIAN AND I DONT MESS AROUND WITH PERSON FEELINGS. SO I DONT WANT ANYONE TO MESS AROUND WITH MINE. TRUE LOVE IS HARD TO FIND BUT I HAVE TO BE PATIENT. PLZ DONT LET ME WAIT TOO LONG LOL SERIOULY.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 19, 2012 03:17

LOVE ......... to love.
These are feelings, passion.
When you start to think, reason, philosophy, calculus, talking, that's the topic of conversation, it is just words of mouth.
Love is a look

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Posted on Mon, Jul 30, 2012 23:02

Once a person learns how to love and give in a relationship they become a magnet to attract others who seek the same person. Change your  mindset to think about giving and serving your partner instead of measuring your expectations against their qualities. And be sure not to expose your expectations so you  don't  give yourself  a false sense of security when they attempt to mold themselves to such expectations. Men are known to do that. 

Also don't let  them think it is all about you and what they can do for you.  Instead find a partner who is a giver such as yourself,  who will let you  know what they want to do for you  matching your desire to also give to them without any expectation to expect something in return.
Both dating partners want to feel valued, supported, appreciated, encouraged, acknowledged and affirmed. Not judged or criticised in order to attempt to change them or get them to move in your ways.

Nothing wrong with constructive critisism if done toward a partner who embraces and acknowledges it. A sign they want to change themselves for the relationship not just catering to a demanding partner to keep the peace.

If done the right way both can expect a longterm emotional and physical relationship because they want what the other is giving to them and can't find it in others.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 29, 2012 10:37

To dannyspl---great comment.  What you said shed light from a different perspective for me as far as the expectations you explained. Wow! It also brought to my mind how I was with a man for 1 year and grew tired of him comparing me to past girlfriends. It hurt and seemed he wanted me to live up to expectations of every previous person he was with. Tall order not to mention impossible.



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Posted on Fri, Jul 27, 2012 17:03

it's not easy. i asked jim is he divorced & is he over ex during 2mo. before coming to him. he wad 17 months to forget her but he keeps talking about her. i dont know what to do with him. he doesnt deserve faithful sweet girl like ME...
i coudnt find out at the beginning that he's insane. hoarder. he's not honest ...



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Posted on Wed, Jul 25, 2012 14:59

One of my favorite quotes:
     "The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,

         and not a fountain, to show them that we love them
                  not when we feel like it, but when they do."
                               ~Nan Fairbrother

Pretty much says it in a nutshell. We all want the same thing, love, yet are we willing to risk all of who we are to be loved? Think about this...If being loved is what we seek are we willing to put forth all our vulnerabilities--willing to be accountable for our actions/bad choices openly and honestly and not resort to blame of any sort?  Are we readily willing to risk being judged, put down, ridiculed, or mocked, and even dismissed for what we feel? Most importantly, before all this, are we, ourself, willing to do what it takes which is not easy, takes extreme diligence, and patience toward ourself to break patterns of behaviour that has become second nature to us, knee jerk reactions etc. Are we willing to step out of our "comfort zones" and act in ways that are foreign to us, are we willing to communicate in a way that we have not tried before, and are we willing to accept ourself as imperfect beings? Does a person believe they are "lovable"?  On the other end of where it needs to begin, are we able to except the imperfections of our partner, are we able to draw boundaries and remain inpendent and not convoluted in the he said, she said vicious circle of immature love, are we willing to meet our partner in the middle and allow for something more than just our own opinion. Are we flexible and honest, do we come to the table of compromise on an issue and instead say: "I see my actions are destructive .....and that I notice when I shut you out when arguing that I am really hurting you and that is not my intention--will you help me as I become more aware as I take growth in steps which is just what it is. (used as example).  Instead of coming to the table never intending to even consider the other point of view because we are so sure we are "right". Are we willing to be wrong? Make room for other than our own point of view knowing that our point of view can be limited?

Because without risking being seen for the fragmented beings that we are, imperfections, childish attitudes,etc; unless we present all of who we are despite the risk to be judged etc, then we can only be loved on the surface for all the good things. It is so easy to love positive qualities and ways people are toward us that leave us feeling on top of the world. It is quite different when challenges come up and our loved one's act in ways far from positive toward us.  In the big scheme of things, unless we allow another person to be a part of the fragmented, incomplete parts of ourselves that still needs to grow--then love in the truest sense will not exist as a link in the chain of life.
One more of my favorite quotes:
     "Love takes of masks that we cannot live without, and know we cannot live within."
       ~James Arthur Baldwin

~Crysta




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Posted on Sat, Jul 07, 2012 16:13

I like your way of thinking Danny........I am a tru believer that positive atrracts positive and negaitve atrracts negative.  The book THE SECRET works and more people should read it.   There may be many crazy people on this site but I think once you weed them out there are many wonderful people looking for love.  I will never give up hope that LOVE really does conquer all.  Being in love is the most azamzing feeling in the world.......I hope to find it again one day.    Stay positive folks.......he/she is out there waiting for you.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 01, 2012 15:32

because so many look at the outter shell first and not the inner shell. If you  notice most men on here the max age is still years under their own age. WHY is that? Because they want HOT younger woman. They are not going in and looking at the soul of that person, not even giving it a try. They judge by that outter shell first. Its really sad.
Im not saying hook up with a ugly duckling who doesn't take care of herself but give the average a chance you might find true love for life and not until divorce.



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Posted on Wed, Jun 20, 2012 07:03

Perhaps people do not know how to love



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Posted on Mon, Jun 11, 2012 19:02

I, too, agree... in the end we are all just fragile, ephemeral beings asking to be accepted and loved just the way we are. Yet we try to appear immortal and invincible and build such think walls around ourselves taht in the end we all live alone and unhappy, but nobody is brave enough to take the first step and leave aside the mask exposing himself, faults and all. It's sort of a sick vicious chain we built throughout the centuries.



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Posted on Sun, Jun 03, 2012 14:53

I agree.



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