Do male friends really exist for women? Friendship Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Nov 22, 2011 at 08:47 AM


    I agree with your theory mostly. I think one major component missing, however, is that your research takes a unilateral approach as you have asked dozens of women, but what about the men they are referring to or even just men in general? Their answers to you are merely speculative, whether accurate or not, and may be based on several factors (i.e. truth, perspective, an inflated opinion of ones self) because you are not asking them if they would sleep with their male friends, you are asking if they THINK their male friends will sleep with them.

    Further, I wonder what kind of women you have surveyed. Smart? Beautiful? Sexy? Overweight? Homely? Average? Single? Mariied? With or without kids? I think you will find that the answers will vary with a balanced group.

    I think male/female friendships can be successful but I think the older people become, the more difficult it is, for many reasons, number one being the stigma that is put on these relationships by partners (boy/girlfriends, fiances, and certainly spouses). Given the cultural changes we have seen over the last 30 years especially, I think it is probably more prevalent now given that there are far more women in the workplace vs. a workplace that was primarily dominated by men prior to then. Previously, women were at home while the men worked so men and women wouldn't typically meet unless the purpose was for romance. Even still today though, I would say that male/female friendships when spouses are involved are rather difficult to maintain even if the friendship existed first.

    Studies show that sexual tension is present in 62% of these relationships which is a big reason why many don't work after one or both people become involved in a romantic relationship but even still these relationships can be successful and mutually beneficial. Men appreciate what they get from women that they don't get from guys (i.e. men typically group together and don't talk much about feelings) and women appreciate men for what they don't get from other women (a more relaxed atmosphere where you are not expected to take on the emotional burdens of others every time you are together). Not to mention, what generally attracts a man to a woman who becomes his friend begins physically, even though that may not hold true for the woman.

    So, I think they, in most cases are a woman's friend in addition to being a boyfriend in waiting...I definitely see a co-existence there. :) I could go on and on about this I think!! LOL
  • 73Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2017 at 10:38 AM


    It's simple...the relationship between two people is superficial if they cannot make love without sex. Fewer make it from sex to love... more often it's love to sex that seems to test time.


    Deep bonds an important key in developing connections without sex. We should ask...do woman have brothers, uncles, cousins? Do brothers have sisters, aunts, cousins? 

     

    In the case of relationships that are animistic bonds we cannot control magnetism energy that draws us to theses bonds... however, we can develop the will to go against our natural desires accordingly.  Just as we do with addictions.

     

    This idea that we cannot help who we love is a lame excuse when it comes to engaging in sex unless we buy into this idea that sex is love & respect. Then we must consider the fact that the love of a mother most revered by everyone?  While the love of a child, then a pet come a close second, third respectfully. 

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 18, 2017 at 02:57 AM


    I have many male friends. Would some want to sleep with me? Sure. But they value me for my qualities, personality, and friendship.  

     

    Some of us women actually have more to offer than just sex, and that goes both ways. 

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 30, 2016 at 01:14 AM


    rarely is it just friends. someone always wants more with the opposite sex.

  • View author's info Posted on Feb 07, 2016 at 05:52 PM


    Yes we exist. 

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 19, 2015 at 03:03 PM


    My best friend is male, and he would not want to sleep with me, nor I with him. Men can be friends without the benefits.

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 26, 2014 at 06:05 PM


    I do believe there are some men that can be true friends. I am fortunate enough to have had a male friend for over 25yrs. He is my best friend and we have been through a lot together. We do everything together...except have sex.

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2014 at 06:40 PM


    I really like having male friends as men see through a different lens then females.  Most are very easy to talk to and aren't ultra sensitive also.  However, I must admit that most of my male friends have admitted to being attracted to me beyond friendship, and have blatantly stated if I wasn't married to so and so I'd be trying to marry you.  (Blushing) It's sweet but I'm sure there's a reason they've made it to the "friend" zone. Hmmm, did I answer the question.

      

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2014 at 02:37 PM


    I also believe that men can be friends with Females, as well I believe that women can be friends wit males..! Not everyone in life that we meet we have to have a sexual connection just because it's the opposite sex. My personal opition only.

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 04, 2014 at 10:36 AM


     "In life, you need rules and boundaries to preserve RESPECT to others around you no matter what the situation is or the feelings you might have."

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 13, 2013 at 05:48 PM


    I personally think that men and women can be only friends, depending on each parties feelings towards one another. I know for me, I have a few men that are my friends and that's all that they are: friends. It's possible, but it's just depending on both parties to set where the line is drawn from not being "just friends."
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 24, 2013 at 05:48 PM


    I do agree to a point. i have had many guy friends who have fell under this theory. But I also have 2 guy friends who are just that, friends! It's hard because even if they are not physically attracted to you, emotions often get into the way. It's hard to find a great guy who just wants to be your friend. But I feel it is possible. 

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 13, 2013 at 07:48 PM


     

    The Writer: [typing on computer] I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

    Stand by Me

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 27, 2013 at 01:48 AM


     

    It’s always a gray area.. I would many time prefer a guy friend over a girlfriend, but I know to my heart that it’s not really possible. And it’s not just annoying to taking  care of " the boundaries", but it’s due to the fact that a good guy-friend ends up being married to a girl who would probably band the kind of relations, or after his new endeavor, he finds the relation is over. Then you would think, “were he a friend anyway’ or just on the wait list?

    Best friend is hard to find! 

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 30, 2013 at 02:35 AM


    I have to say I find this quite ridiculus, you are basically saying that guys only have/want female friends who they are attracted to... rubbish. I have a number of very good female friends, some of whom I am not physically attracted to and would never sleep with, but they are still friends! Btw I wouldn't sleep with the others either! It's all about respect, something that some here seem to lack big time!

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 11:17 AM


    @MDB I couldn't agree more.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 28, 2013 at 06:49 AM


    I have a male friend we have been friends for over 10 years, i have no doubt there is mutual respect and we are not attracted to each other its a great friendship and very unique i feel very lucky and fortunate :) ..however a little strange when he suggests friends for me to date! I would love to see him happy and I know he wants the best for me to, hes like a brother and yes he is sraight however he likes very very tiny girls, tanned and blonde and girl next door look, and I myself am more curvy brunette exotic looking and have a milky complection.

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 23, 2013 at 04:20 PM


    Females can have male friends.  The only difference is that men have testosterone so of course they'd bang their female friend. LOL!  I have guy friends that I am sure would never sleep with me and I have some that I am sure would.  Guys see sex so differently than women.  It's usually the woman who has to put up the boundaries.  My guy friends' know very well I would not sleep with them.  But I am a woman who can set and maintain boundaries.  

     

    Think about your own group of friends...are they all female or all male? Likely not, I'm sure everyone has both.  Question answered :) 

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 20, 2013 at 09:09 AM


    I think there's too much going on between men and women for men and women to be just friends.  The undercurrent is always there.  

     

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2013 at 06:11 PM


    I have many male friends who are just friends.  Most of them I've known since middle school or high school.  Where I encounter problems, however, is from their wives and/or girlfriends because apparently they believe as you do - that men and women can't be just friends.  Because I don't want to cause any trouble for my friends and I don't want to be the source of drama in anyone's life, I rarely see those friends anymore.  I think it's sad and foolish of those women (because let's face it, I've known those guys for such a long time that if something was going to happen it would have already) but I can understand (sort of) so I keep my distance unless the wives/girlfriends are going to be there too. 

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