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Are we expected to chase?
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Posted on Thu, Mar 24, 2011 21:48

If I write to a woman and she answers one time but never returns a second time or if she winks at me and then never returns my email, am I suppose to continue chasing her?  It is hard to determine if they are not interested or just overwhelmed with other inquires.  Any help would be appreciated.

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Posted on Mon, Aug 05, 2013 20:56

In my experience it does have a lot to do with being overwhelmed with getting back to ever single email.   Really make your email stand out, that is what one guy did for me with and exceptional email, but as a writer; it was his phenomenal writing skills that reall captivated my attention.  It doesn't have to be 100% grammatical free, but the effort really does count.  Just like the thought counts.  As far as to many times to pursue a woman, I'd say no more than two emails then move on if she doesnt respond.  Lastly, you got to remember some of these profiles are absentee or who haven't login in for quite sometime and were never deleted.  Hope this helped some! Have a wonderful day!



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Posted on Wed, Jun 12, 2013 15:31

Quoting minkykeka:

u dont chase .. period .. sign of weakness.. women dont like to see that.. when the right women appears..let her chase. its the challenge which all women aspire too.. and they love it gives them a sense of control ..

Minkykeka,

You are soooooo wrong! We love being chased and we strongly believe men love to chase [HUNT] and that they thoroughly enjoy the thrill of the chase. Preventing a man from doing the hunting is almost emasculating to some and unattractive to many. As women, we DO NOT at all see a man chasing us as a sign of weakness! What????

Quite the contrary. 

Orlando - do the chase, but learn where to draw the line if she's not responding. It is rude to leave you hanging without a definitive response, so just move on to the next; she can't be that interested.

Liv.



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Posted on Thu, Jun 06, 2013 16:15

I think that if you have made a connection through email once and had a reply give it a few days  and see what happens. It could be that she is getting many emails winks ect but if after a few days you get no reply then I would moveoon. It's bad manners to not at least let him know your no longer interested or not compatible but thats just my opinion.  I would not pursue it past that.



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Posted on Wed, May 08, 2013 08:26

Hoping4love2000.
You are so right, and men should really read your post if they want to know what to do.



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Posted on Tue, Apr 30, 2013 19:33

That is absolute rubbish! it is the man's job to do the chasing.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 28, 2013 20:20

YES...in general term...YES...men should chase the women. Men are the pursuers in a romantic relationships.
BUT....I believe you are asking about chasing with regard to those first few contacts, before a relationship has developed. If I do not respond to an email or wink it is because I am not attracted to that man, either physically (most often), he is either too old or too young for me (in my opinion), or something in his profile or recent email does not fit with what I am looking for in a mate. I think women like myself who are looking to marry or have a LTR will be much pickier than those looking for something less serious. If I were the kind of woman who was just looking for sex and a good time, I would only date men 10-15 years younger with hot bodies (becasue YES, WOMEN ARE JUST AS VISUAL AS MEN and obivously a younger man is usually better looking than an older men and has a higher libido :) BUT...because I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, my desires are much more specific, so: faith, values,  interests and lifestyle are extrememly important. If I get a sense that there is a "miss" in one of my "must have" categories, I do not keep communicating. Most often I will send an explanation so they are not left guessing why there is no further contact.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 28, 2013 12:26

Thanks for all the responses.



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Posted on Tue, Jul 10, 2012 20:19

I hate guessing and the drama that unfolds when I feel that there's something going on that I don't understand.

So I just ask: "I'm interested in you. Are you interested in getting to know me?"

Otherwise I just find dating exhausting and I give up.

(Oh, and yes, I am old fashioned enough to love a man who pursues me. But I'm also respectful enough to come right on out and say if I'm not interested... or if I am!)

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Posted on Tue, Jul 03, 2012 20:56

I think it is so inconsiderate to not be honest and politely say you are not interested.  There are so many ways to say this.  For example, thank you for writing me and I see you are a great guy but I'm interesting in finding someone who lives closer (has small children since I don't, has no children so we can travel, is of my same faith, shares jogging as a hobby so we can go on marathons together...whatever).  People need to be honest and polite, but immediate.
If a person doesn't say thank you, hit the "next" button.  If they haven't seen the email, when they do they will either contact you or not.  If they don't, don't fret, just move on.
A wink may not be sufficient to spark a return email.  A wink might generate a return wink, but that is not gauranteed either.  A wink and an email should.....if there is interest.



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Posted on Sat, May 26, 2012 10:52

Men are naturally to be the agressor with women, we expect this...however, if she is not returning your emails thats a clear sign she is really not interested in you.  I don't buy this 'mess' of being too busy...blah...blah...blah....LOL!.  If she's not responding, she's not interested in you fully.  There are some women who will try to keep you as a 'back-up' if you let her.  Meaning she is keeping you in her side pocket while she waits for something better.  Men do this too.  So, bottom line, if they do not give you their full attention from the start...move on.  If this happens often, I would evaluate what within yourself is not fully 'present' or not fully ready for meaningful companionship...We attract and are attracted to exactly what we ourselves are.



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Posted on Sun, Sep 04, 2011 21:48

OKAY FIRST LET ME SAY!! HI 7DESTINY.. LONG TIME!! Always enjoy your thoughts!

AND HELLO ORLANDO!!

Now look people.. It isn't "chase" anymore.. WE ARE NOT ON THE SWING SET!!

The word is ******

H-U-N-T!!

*Shakes her head and wonders if her friend Orlando was tippin da bottle and thinking back to elementary school when he wrote "chase~" LOL...

Orlando, you are bright, perceptive, attractive and "sometimes" wise.. LOL...
HUNT!!

GENTLEMEN...
There is nothing more a TURN ON than a man who goes after what he wants!! Now this does not mean continually HUNT HER if you write a couple of times and she does not respond... But YES.. we do get busy and forget or are so involved in other things it may slip our mind.. But for ANY man that feels "women like to chase" would be INCORRECT! It is NOT in our DNA to HUNT!

NOTE 2 MEN: Do not confuse the initial HUNT with the STALKING many women do long after you break up.. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!! Bwahahaha!!

BE A MAN, GROW SOME NADS AND DO UR JOB!! Cuz women like me and DESTINY ain't sittin around all alone pinin' over you!
HeeheeHee~~ :)



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Posted on Thu, Jul 21, 2011 19:02

If you are guy waiting for a woman to chase you then you may be waiting for a long time.  Most women don't really need to chase guys.

The one piece of advice I would give guys is to express your interest honestly but never get too emotional/romantic/lovey-dovey too soon.  Even if you are sure that she is "the one," please do not put on the puppy-dog eyes and tell her that she is your one true soulmate after you have known each other for two weeks.  Actually, you should probably never say anything like that to a woman- ever.

I know this is obvious and yet I doubt that I have ever dated a guy who didn't try to move too fast in the romantic love department.  Inappropriate lovey-dovey expressions sound delusional at best and manipulative at worst.  Please don't do it.



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Posted on Tue, Jul 19, 2011 01:31

u dont chase .. period .. sign of weakness.. women dont like to see that.. when the right women appears..let her chase. its the challenge which all women aspire too.. and they love it gives them a sense of control ..



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Posted on Wed, Apr 20, 2011 14:57

You don't chase the Right girl. There is a serious girl!



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Posted on Sun, Apr 17, 2011 19:44

Men are bred to chase women. But if there is no clear signal that interest is there then take the lack of response for what it is.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 17, 2011 13:47

I would say do not just wink the first time, send an email.  Then, if she does not answer, remind her once but only once, perhaps this time with only a wink.  She could be busy with work, traveling, etc.  Then again, she could just not be interested.  If she does not answer you when you either email or just wink a second time, then you have your answer, she is not interested OR she could answer back and say she was busy.  Men and women should be frank and NOT just not answer back but just state in their profile what they are NOT interested in...So, be SPECIFIC re what you want in a woman and ask them to be frank and upfront.  It hurts a lot more when someone "tries to be nice" when what they are actually doing is leading you on.  I think people that just do not answer are RUDE and were never taught manners by either parents or teachers.  It is so simple to say "Thank you but ...."  or why not just tell you, "I am not interested for ..."  Good luck! 



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Posted on Sat, Apr 16, 2011 16:09

AS a Gold Member you can write to her.  Unpaid members can reply once you write but they cannot write you first.  Just wink or "favorite" you.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 03, 2011 19:26

Nope, if she doesnt get back to you again, she's probably not interested - at least not right now. Something else may have come up or she might not be in to you. Don't chase too much though and spare your dignity.

 



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Posted on Sun, Mar 27, 2011 08:28

Quoting teach02014:

She may not be a paid member.



But I'm a Gold member and they can write me.



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