I am a plus size BBW model. .. and Im attractive. So many men seem to think to be sexy you must be a size 7 and have fake breasts. Ive been small and Ive been heavy but Ive not changed on the inside. I have many men that approach me.. and dont have a problem finding a man at all. I just think some of the gorgeous men searching for a playmate should consider a large and lovely woman..
i am a big woman looking for love,out going ,like to fish but i wont touch the fish lol,love to trave,i am a red head ,hazel eyes,5'8, my weight is big as my heart not realy about my weight but my heart is no drama pleasesorry,there u go short and sweet lol.
Just want to say, I couldn't agree with you more and I love your honesty. You speak the truth. I am unfortunately one of those larger women who find dieting very very difficult and also due to an underactive thyroid, find that the weight I initially gained over a period of 5 months has remained with me for 20 years. Still the same weight as 20 years ago, however in that time, I have been on diet after diet after diet, lose some then put it back on. My marriage ended in divorce and I have been on my own since. All due to lack of confidence in myself. Life is NOT good as an obese person and anyone saying otherwise is really not being honest with themselves.
The way I see it is this. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you physically see, then why or how can you expect a man to be attracted to you physically? You can be the loveliest and nicest person in the world (and I know I am) but at some stage that man will need to see you without clothes on. Then how do you feel? I don't think I need to answer that question, because I know how I feel.
I am an athletic, healthy woman... and if I ever heard my significant other say something sizist, he would be out of my door in 2 secs. I feel very strongly about everyone's need to critique women based on their bodies. Is attractiveness important? Definitely. But if you're not attracted to a woman, keep your mouth shut and KIM (keep it moving!). People who feel the need go on justification rants ie..large is not healthy, blah blah are just looking to rationalize their prejudice. Sounds alot like social darwinism and other disgusting ways that people intellectualize marginalizing people who dare to be themselves.
As a double minority, this behavior disgusts me. To the OP, remember that there are men out there who will delude you into believing that you need to change attributes about yourself to be acceptable. Wealthy men are infamous for this. Most wealthy men also voted for Romney...consider it a blessing if they pass you up.
There are also wealthy men who will look at you and think your body type, your personality and your courage to be yourself is quite sexy...those are the keepers.
Confidence is attractive whether you are a slim or heavy person. Men are attracted to confident women. Women are attracted to confident men. Of course, this is a general statement, but mostly true. Most men will not be attracted to a woman that is walking around with her head looking down all the time and who isn't upbeat in personality whether she is a BBW or slim.
My experience is that confidence in yourself that radiates outward is way more important to a man of any quality than your dress size. If you feel good about yourself and show that, you will attract a man that appreciates you for more than the size of your waist and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
MY VEIWS IS THAT ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME SOME ARE ATTRACTED BY WHAT THEY SEE, SOME IS THE INTELLIGENCE, THE WEALTH, PERSONALITY.SLIM, FULL FIGURED YOU NAME IT. YOU CANT FORCE A MAN TO LOVE YOU. ONCE A MAN IS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE.
So bad easymantlove is not here. So men want just a woman to show?
I'm still around...
I never said that men just want a woman to show. What I said was:
"Men are visual creatures and if we're not attracted to you, we're not interested in you." How hard is that to understand? There is no sin in that statement nor is there any prejudice. It simply is the reality of the world.
Beyond that, the above statement also doesn't say that you can't be heavy in order to be attractive. That is what most of you chose to read into it out of your own insecurities.
"An overweight woman does not fit with the lifestyle or image that a successful man wants and needs to portray." The sad truth is that successful men are judged by the company they keep. If you look unhealthy (slovenly) the successful man can be judged poorly for that. Sad but true.
I know many successful men who are married to their original wives and wouldn't trade those women for the world (rightfully so). However, for those who have to start over with a new partner, why should they not start with an equal contributor... one whose attractive, charming, healthy, active and one that people will admire and look up to?
What's that saying you women are so fond of? "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man." Not so much fun when the same way of thinking gets turned around is it?
I would suggest that some of you read my "reality" blog...
Then you are going to be lonely because if you are not attracted to someone just because they don't fit into what your society deems attractive, then you are brainwashed. I swear more people need to watch "shallow hal". I'm not knocking men who are attracted to a more slender phrame but I do think men need to think more for themselves and stop letting the world around them make their decisions for them. And yes, men are known to cheat on thin ladies for the company of a big one. I know this because I had a long time lover who was a friend with benefits. He dated "skinny girls" but even having the lovely and "thin" fiance' he has now, guess what, he still begs me to spend time with him. If you stood her next to me you would see a short and thick little women next to a long and lovely "skinny" woman. Yes, she's wearing his ring but his real attraction is women like me but he's afraid of what society says. Oh, and before you go assuming, no I'm not sleeping with him. I refuse while he is in a relationship and never wanted one with him in the first place because he is a cheater, but also a very good friend. Lol, you men are funny. Btw, he is a successful man.
To you ladies, just because "one" man thinks this way, doesn't mean they all do. The majority, maybe, but whatever, we can't change what is so deeply ingrained in them by society. I do suggest losing weight to your proper weight for your health. I am trying to lose weight myself. Instead of realizing that obesity is a heath issue we are trying to change society and make it accept our health issue as beautiful in it's own way just because SO many of us are over weight. The truth is, we either don't have the time to exercise or the time to eat right or in more cases, don't give a crap. BUT there are just as many big men out there... I can more easily understand a successful and atractive man wanting an attractive woman, but what bull dozers me is the oogly men that think they can get a hottie, ahaha! Well, if they have money they can have one but they can't buy her love, only her forced and faked affection. While your in the bedroom, she's got her eyes closed pretending you'r Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel, whatever floats her boat. I listen to men cry all the time about how they can't find love, lol. You will let yourselves be used and abused and swear there are no good women out there, but the simple truth f the matter is you are a 4 and you are dating 8s and up. That in and of itself is a recipe for disaster. The sad part is most of you have a friend who is a 5 to a 7 who really loves you and you have quarentined her in the "friend" zone. She's better looking than you are, but because you are so brainwashed, you don't see that you aren't good looking enough even for her.
Don't get me confused, I'm not attacking anyone here. I love people and I love making friends, but I see a problem with society, and although I'm not gonna be able to change it, I can maybe help alot of you see the problem. No, a hot guy shouldn't feel bad because he wants someone just as hot as he is, but an average guy should realize he is averge and that a really hot woman is more than likely just using you. In that case, you're just asking for it and you have lost your right to complain about women because you are choosing women who will be disloyal and dishonest and use you. Ask your friend, who won't lie to you, where you are on the 1-10 scale, and you can have a women a couple notches above you and still have love, but don't expect much if your fishing for a 10 and you're a 5. If you REALLY want to be appreciated and not cheated on and used, go for a woman who is equal to you in looks.
True story, I was once deeply in love with a man named John. He is, to this day, my best friend. We tried to make it happen 2x but both times it didnt work because he was hung up on a woman who kept him as her fall back guy. Of course, he didn't see it that way. When I first met him, my first impression (concerning looks) was, wow, I can do better than this, but then also remembered how you men "think". I got to know him and inevitably, fell in love. Imagine how stunned I was when one of his friends took pitty on me and informed me that he just wasnt that attracted to me, and big suprise, it was my weight. I admitt, I was very big then. I was involved in a car acccident that jacked up my neck and made me not want to do alot of moving and/or lifting. Simply because it hurt. I had to adjust my diet and began losing weight, of which I've lost 40lbs. I'm still a big girl, but I chose to be healthy again and I will be. I dont want this weight, it hurts my neck and back and is bad for me. Anyhow, long story short, I decided I'm better than this. First go he dumped me, second I him, but didnt realize he was cheating on me either. I was hurt for a while and didn't talk to him, but we made up as friends ONLY because I'm sorry, as much as I love him as a friend now, I'm better than that and deserve better. I'll be his friend, and as he is watching the weight come ff he is acting more interested, but he lost his chance. Don't be that guy. If your girl gets thick, get her into an active passtie that you both enjoy and don't forget to be REALISTIC! Hope this helps someone. Ignore the stupid movies where the ugly boy gets the hottie. It's a movie, not real life! im tammy sponsler, if you want to talk to me more about this topic, male or female, you can figure out how to talk to me about it :P if your smart and use your face! lol
Isnt the point of finding your "Life long partner" to be atracted not only to their body but also to their personality? Everyone needs to stop worrying about what scociety sees as sexy and beautiful and start looking with there heart. Yes it is true that we are all atracted to different traits and figures. But there are still men who find big girls attractive, but wont say anything for fear of what others might think. And who cares about image? So what if an successful man is with a bigger woman. All that means is that obviously they truely care about each other, and that there not just together because thats what everyone else expects of them.
We are first and foremost visual creatures and if we are not attracted to you we are not interested in you. An overweight woman does not fit with the lifestyle or image that a successful man wants and needs to portray.
It really is as simple as that.
Yes, it is, if main goal of your life is to "fit lifestyle, what successful man wants"..
so, the main function of your (long-lasting relationship) partner is " to fit lifestyle..." by appearance??
It is not, if you live your own life.
I agree, overweight shows level of your intelligence, however, can be very different situation, which cause this overweight. (and it is solvable-most of them)
Secondly, some man are attracted to the fat woman, which is kind of fetish, I think .
I am fat (at the moment), but (surprisingly) according to my recent experience I am VERY attractive for that kind of men.
Your point of view is kind of fetish (or social psychological cliché)
Any kind of fetish (or cliché) is not property of REAL MATURE relationship.(IMHO)
I am a larger size woman. I am 40 yrs old 5'5 at 190 lbs. about a size 16. When I was younger I was so skinny people thought I was anorexic, I was 5'5 at 100 lbs. That was a long time ago before I ever had any kids. Now I am my current weight and people look at it as plus size but yet I am happier in my own skin moreso now than when I was skinny. I was very insecure back then.
I would be willing to loose weight if I had the opportunity to have a personal trainer however I personally think someone should love me for me not judge me by my extra weight. They would have to love me for me 1st:)
It is so crazy that most men on this site want a woman that is much younger than themself and thin. I'm not saying this cause Im full figured but to me its very shallow. I read by another post that "We are first and foremost visual creatures and if we are not attracted to you we are not interested in you. An overweight woman does not fit with the lifestyle or image that a successful man wants and needs to portray.". That is obsured. Do you really think that that skinny model/arm candy is gonna be by your side when you get sick? She will end up hiring someone to take care of you while she's bumping the pool boy and out spending all your money finding every excuse not to be there for you when your ailing. Then when you die, your family will be mad that she gets it all to live with her next husband. Im sorry guys but with all the money you have, use your friggin brain. You may want to impress everyone around you by having such a hot woman on your arm but REALLY everyone is looking at you like, "ok, she's using him for the money" and she WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO HEAR so she can get some of what you have. Alot of them are out screwing other men while you are out working long hours, out of state, country whatever to make that money. And another thing, they either won't want to bear your child in fear of losing that figure OR they will like asap so they will have a guarenteed check for the next 18 yrs.
So you men need to open up your eyes if you wish
So, tell me, why is it so important to have that perfect image when you could have TRUE LOVE by someone who is moreso "average looking" or "full figured"? AND would be there no matter what and NOT have to hire someone to wipe your butt when and if your ailing. Are you that shallow minded? If you are, then you will get a shallow minded female on your arm and have a WONDERFUL future with that.
Thank you for reading, my point exactly:) Please hope some of this will make you guys think.
I am sure look s count for something but what happens if that 'beautifuyl wife or partner' gets sick or has an accvident and her looks aren't the same anymore? What happens then? She'll get dumped?
I rather know I am with my partner for the right reasons and he is with me than having to worry about this sort of thing. It's necessary to make an effort but the packaging isn't everything in the longrun.
I have seen a lot of 'beautiful people' but I can't say that they were the most intelligent, knowledgeable or funny ones :)lol
I rather someone understands me and makes me laugh....
Ouch, that told me then I guess :) Shall I delete my profile straight away or just hang in there and hope for the best?
I am not slim and have dated men that were successful....:)
What is wrong with not being skinny but I am a great cook...lol :)I am just looking for a decent man that shares the same values and wants to start a family one day.....didn't realise this was a weight competition :)lol