Danger is out there! Message Board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Oct 25, 2006 at 06:58 PM

    Hi all,
    been awhile since I've cruised the message board, waaaaay too much to read; anyway it was brought to my attention that Nancy Grace of CNN Headline News the other evening was reporting on a man from Irvine CA, who had dated 3 ladies, 2 from this site, then proceeded to rape, and assault them.
    I don't know if it's OK with MM to post the link from the transcript of the show, but a friend (formerly of this site) sent it to me. I've also Googled this and the story checks out. Email me if you want the link.

    Just be very careful if your dating from any site.

    Always meet in a public place, with lots of people around, even letting the waiter/waitress your meeting someone for the first time from the Internet.

    Do not let them pick you up at home.

    Have people know where you are going and who you are with.

    If your travelling any distance to meet someone, always have your mad money or credit card so you are able to return on your own.

    Unless you really know this person make your own reservations, and check in yourself then meet them downstairs in the lobby of the hotel.

    Remember, just cause your emailing with someone for some time they still are a stranger to you. There are cons, rapists and serial murderers out there, protect yourself first!
    Follow - email me when people comment
  • 13Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 07, 2006 at 08:28 AM

    You're right, Leah and Sharpie. I think as a society, we ought to look at this characteristic and maybe modify it to the 21st century.

    You know what, angel and Pauline? I think all women should be taught self-defense. I've got my yellow belt in kumg fu. And I've studied medieval sword-handling (in case I'm ever transported back in time) and kenjitsu. (in case I ever have to go to Japan and fight Ninjas)

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2006 at 09:51 PM

    Wow. Did they catch this guy in Irvine? That's too close to home. I've had a few weird ones myself. You have to also watch your drinks on dates.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2006 at 03:27 PM

    katiegrlK2B write:
    Cynburghleah write:

    I love darling men, but I don't know if they have any idea how dangerous it is for us women, out there, every day!


    I agree Katie.
    That was very rude behaviour of anyone, anywhere to come on to a young girl like that.

    I had some workmen comment one day when walking by the worksite.
    I turned on them and asked "how would you like it if someone said that to your wife, girlfriend, mother or sister....you certainly would find it offensive, so what gives you the right to say that to me??"

    The one man kinda blushed and said" geez you don't have to take it so hard we were just joking around"
    I said "I don't see the joke or find that funny now please #$$% off"

    I had to walk by that site to go to work for the next week and not a peep out of any of them.

    I found when I took my power back from them they were the ones embarassed and not me!

    So ladies remember to stand up for yourself, verbally at the very least.
    As Dr. Phil says "you teach people how to treat you" so if the action or words are inappropriate, say something! I don't care how many millons someone has, they don't get to treat me badly or any of my friends!

    I will say after meeting, what about a dozen guys from this site (10 in Las Vegas with the group that went in April) all have been gentlemen and classy and would never be a threat to anyone. But they would be the first ones to stand up for any of the ladies here!

    So I think just cause there was one bad apple in the bunch we don't stop looking around in here, we just be more cautious when meeting anyone new.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2006 at 07:35 AM

    Katie writes:
    "Good point, Leah. Women naturally hate to hurt people's feelings or wound men's egos. Why are we taught that?"

    sharp1 writes:
    I don't think females necessarily taught to not wound a man's ego, I think it is innate. We are taught to not hurt people's feelings, but so are males.

    Generations after us have been taught protective measures and to be wary of all strangers...even ones dressed in suits. Bad people come in all kinds of clothing.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 01, 2006 at 04:34 AM

    Cynburghleah write:
    ...Women, DO NOT be afraid to avoid a potentially harmful situation for fear of hurting anothers feelings or being perceived as a bitch. If a potential attacker is someone you dont know, why should you care if their feelings get hurt or they think badly of you? I once heard of a woman who stepped onto an elevator already occupied by one man and she was raped on it. Her gut feeling told her not to get on but she didnt pay attention to herself...ALWAYS trust your instincts.

    Good point, Leah. Women naturally hate to hurt people's feelings or wound men's egos. Why are we taught that?

    I think sometimes we don't know what our parameters are regarding just how much we'll "take" before we're pissed off. I think if women make a conscious decision NOT to accept any kind of inappropriate remark or gesture from strange men, and make a committment to react harshly when it happens to us, then that's a start.

    I remember once when I was just a teenager, I walked passed two men on a busy Ottawa street. One guy nudged the other and said in a loud voice so I'd hear, "Bet there's a lot of space between THOSE legs!"

    I was too innocent and naive to understand what the pig meant so I just smiled and blushed. If he said it to me today I'd be tempted to go back to him, grab his package and squeeze with all my strength and ask, "Want me to give you a lot of space between your LEGS?"

    I think it's unforgivable for a man to speak to a young girl like that AND grown women too!

    I love darling men, but I don't know if they have any idea how dangerous it is for us women, out there, every day!
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 31, 2006 at 08:49 PM

    Lone ranger and Sharp, just love your defensive tips! A friend who was a black belt showed us some moves in high school to protect ourselves. Only had to use one move once.....when waitressing yet! LOL
    Also my dad was a former boxer who only had girls so he made sure we could throw a punch and knew about the roll of change in the hand for a long time.
    The funniest defensive moves I found, was when I was taking Tia Chi, and my now ex, was teasing me, implying it was good for ...not much. I explained to him all you had to do was speed it up and it could be lethal. He laughed. I did the move similar to the 2 fists in ears you mentioned LR....
    he yelled, then was upset that I hurt him.
    Never laugh at Tia Chi!

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2006 at 06:08 PM

    gosh, I just wrote a topic above on this very subject b/c I didn't see this...

    I saw it on the Nancy Grace show just now...

    He allegedly committed sodomy. Nancy says there will be a civil suit against this site...

    Who knows...

    I guess you need to be careful.... I can't imaging inviting someone to my home... NO WAY!

    I know from reading the blogs it happpens.....
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2006 at 02:21 PM

    loneranger...I learned those techniques many years ago from a friend who had his 6th degree black belt and taught karate. There were a few others too, but I won't go into those details, might make a few men faint at the thought! lol I'll just say this ... imagine squeezing and twisting a handful! LOL
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2006 at 08:36 AM

    Yes I have heard about the Rapes of these women. We need to be VERY CAREFUL
    about who to spend time with. No to Be ALONE with someone we DO NOT REALLY KNOW
    getting into a car or going to a man's home to soon is really a "BIG" mistake.
    Take Care Everyone........
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2006 at 06:14 AM

    Better call you Danger Woman Sharp1, well as you go to stopm the instep scrap the edge of your leather sole down the shin, its very painfull.
    Using the 'buut' of the hand instead of the fist , smash it into the aggressors nose,it will probably break it, be agonising , yet you wont have broken knuckles, if you really want to get violent , put a tissue or handkerchiel in the palm of your hand to form a pad , close the hand and insert a ball point pen or pencil between your fingers, the blunt end pressing into the pad in your hand, you now have a stiletto and deadly weapon, that will kill, always try to go for throat or eye, little resistance there but punched hard this will penetrate clothing and if directed at the heart, may well be lethal. A few more less violent , two fingers jabbed in the eyes , with your hand flat and rigid chop up wards under the nose, extremely effective , finaly , with semi cupped hands , swing both arms together in a pincer movement striking the ears, can cause the ear drums to burst , is very painful and numbing. One final tip, if you are going to defend yourself and cant find or remember any of the above, try and put anything solid in your hand, o stone a bunch of loose change, the extra mass makes a huge difference.
    These are desperate measures for desperate situations and are taken from a British Royal Marines un armed combat manual for resting capture or in escaping from capture.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 27, 2006 at 09:18 PM

    loneranger...you mean like carrying your car keys between your mid and fore fingers...jab the throat or eyes, right?

    Men love stillettos...they make a great weapon too...jabbing it down the ship, and stomping down on an attackers instep.

    Any others you'd like to share?
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 27, 2006 at 07:57 PM

    Wow Katie, and hi Nancy, think i better give you girls classes into how you turn innocent objects to have in your purse or are near at hand that will main or kill in an instant, and so simple and effective, you dont need to be super woman to totally disable any attacker just using simple everyday objects.
    Then you can always feel a little easier if ever challenged again.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 26, 2006 at 09:25 PM

    Thanks for the "Heads Up" OneIB. It's not a natural instinct to be so cautious when dating but nowadays it could mean life or death not to!

    I've mentioned before how a perfectly sane-looking man can turn psycho on a date, & you don't see it coming until it's too late. I don't know if it happens to men, but at least men are bigger. Usually men who turn out to be Jekyll are bigger than us & have the advantage of knowing what they're going to do to us before WE do.

    The dangerous time I wrote about before was the guy who invited me to a restaurant & I thought I would be safe & meet him there.

    He arrived & we started talking. One thing that should have raised a red flag was he had just converted to a religion called "Ba'hai & kept talking about it through the whole meal even after I said I wasn't interested in converting.

    Eventually we finished our coffees & I thought that was the end of the date but he said we could continue our conversation at HIS place. Well, no way was I going to his house & I said so. He was shocked! I said it was late & I wanted to go home.

    He offered to drive me home & because it was dark, like an idiot, I said okay. The minute I did my seatbelt up, he drove out of the lot in the wrong direction. I told him to stop & turn around but he ignored me & kept driving faster. Once we got on the 100 mph freeway he told me I would enjoy myself at his place. I yelled at him to let me out.

    Then he went all psycho on me & threatened me, saying I should know he was getting therapy for anger management & was being treated for some serious rage issues that I might like to think about.

    Well, I was already REALLY PISSED OFF about being kidnapped & instead of crying & cowering like he wanted me to, I leaned over & told him he just met the "QUEEN OF FREAKING RAGE ISSUES" & if he didn't let me out I'D KILL him!

    I got home safe, he lived, & I realized I should have been MORE careful. I shook for hours afterwards.
Follow - email me when people comment