A pigs orgasm last for 30 minutes...and other fun facts. Message Board

  • View author's info posted on Sep 27, 2006 23:48

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    What maidens? Are you talking about the pigs and those 30 min orgasms? Ok, Long Ranger and I will find you a herd of sows so you can do it until you are blue. "so let's get cracking!! big sword don't forget!! "

    Rock on Knight of the Big Blue...

    nothing like getting blue!!
  • 12Comments

  • View author's info posted on Sep 25, 2006 11:17

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    I see...I was a little slow on that one. Must be the british humor as I did not get what LR was talking about...

    (a moment of silence)

    And so I, as the queen, now bestow you the honor and the rank of knight of the MM boards and blue shorts. Kneel before me. (Knight kneels before queen with head bowed)

    (Queen takes sword)
    With this sword I bring you the glory of joining the knighthood. (Places sword on left shoulder of knight to be) This symbolizes your quest to find what you are searching for and the powers to do so. (Taps sword on the right shoulder of the knight to be) This symbolizes your strength in mind and body in the name of all that feels good.

    (Queen lifts Blues head) I hereby pronounce to those who read these words that this Knight shall hereby be called...Knight of the Big Blue.

    Rise, Sir Knight of the Big Blue. Rise and stand ready to go forth with your mighty sword and blue shorts.

    (queen hands him the sword she is holding)

    The forum cheers for the Knight of the Big Blue and the party begins in his blue shorts. (whoops-I meant with him in his blue shorts)

    (we all know what you are really thinking here)

    LR, now would be a good time for you to help with the details of this knighthood...

    you two seem to have the lingo down. in my blue shorts, whit a sword and helmet. Queenie you are something else and LR, you just keep encouraging her don't you!!!! OK, if I'm a knight now, where are the maidens?? I'm all set, everythign is blue so let's get cracking!! big sword don't forget!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 24, 2006 07:38

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    What? blue are you saying that you want the LR to smooch you in your painful areas to make you feel better. Oh my...
    and what is that appropriate pain killer...

    Poor Tonto always has to lead the way through the toughest situations. I bet he uses his feather just to trick you.

    queenie, the best thing about you is the ability to cut to the chase and be a first class smart a__s!! I dont play on that side of the street. we were requesting attention from the appropriate lady who is in control of the dipping is all. then maybe we can work this out. I'm with the Ranger though, snipped and all my little guys have given up their swim truncks, pink and blue, so I leave it to others.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 24, 2006 03:38

    Someone may be interested in the book, available at B Dalton Bookseller, called 'the One Hour Orgasm'. Not only for piggys...
  • View author's info posted on Sep 23, 2006 18:31

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    hmmmm. So guys, I have been told that I have brass balls. If you can do this, than I can do this. So LR, into the boiling water...you are first, than mr. blue...you can go. Being the strong, independent women that I am, I will not laugh at either of you as you wither in pain and roll on the ground, wondering why you did this... Than I will proudly step up the the boiling water, dip in my brass balls, and be glad that God made me a woman.

    Hey queenie, if we have all that pain, can we have someone set to apply the appropriate pain killer? and then we're going to need some smootches on the damaged areas for quick healing. LR that ok with you? and even those brass ones will heat up in that hot water and brass can transmit that feeling LR and I have gotten. this could all be interetinn
  • View author's info posted on Sep 23, 2006 13:39

    loneranger06 write:
    Ive been first Blue, except it was called the 'Snip' so i dont need to , its your turn.

    I think at my advanced age, all my swimmers are tired and not willing to stroke the waters any longer. I do understand the snip LR, been there, done that!! so you drop them in the boiling to prove you are the he man your Tonto claims!! or not--OW
  • View author's info posted on Sep 22, 2006 14:15

    loneranger06 write:
    Queenie, its all to do with temperature, if you dont let the air circulate and cool 'things' down, they start to overheat, then the little swimmers get cooked and their tails fall of and they are no good to no man nor beast, or in this case woman, so if you dont want to get a girl preggers, go dunk your testes in boiling water, then you ready for a trip to Montana

    LR--YOU first!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 22, 2006 11:14

    loneranger06 write:
    Hang on a mow, were at cross purposes here, Queenie's going to tape things shut and Bluey is going to 'let it all hang out', Maybe Bluey needs his equipment taped up so he does end up a chilly willy chappie, think all this travel ling is confusing for him. Now whose ready for a game of 'Pig in the Middle'

    Ranger, you have gotten close to crossing the line on this one. the only tape I've had in that dept was to keep on that rip cord after the stones were pulled. and I'm not into Chilly Willie either, you know what that and a cold pool does!! don't encourage Queenie, she is on the rampage of the month!! all that tape might just get her stuck on something she'd rather not !! check with Tonto next time, he has ordered his first pair of Rider boxers, so he can be the beta site for your team.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 20, 2006 16:44

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    Ok so back to the boxers or briefs for Blue. I could not find any facts on those. I think most of the women would agree here that we do not care if you are wearing boxers or shorts, or neither. (At this point I am taping my fingers shut so that I do not say what I am thinking.)

    taping your fingers?? what a world we have. you girls should be happiest if we wear boxers. it does make for air flow and much less binding!! If we're happy about how all the equpment feels, we're much more likely to use it!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 19, 2006 21:41

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    You folks are so naughty....speaking of pigs, did you know that the boars( male pig) thingy is like a cork screw? Really-it is all twisted in a spiral. No wonder the females have those 30 min. orgasms...

    Fart power; cork screw penis; 30 minute orgasms; and drunken ants. is this all you people have time for? doesn't anyone on this line ever just get together?? I'm appaled at the line, while I've been ignored on my question of which is better briefs or boxers!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 17, 2006 10:50

    You are so funny Katie! Just for that I will add more fun facts about animals. Are you ready?

    What a naughty batch of girls and boys we have here.... Here are a few more for you to have fun with.

    Did you know that bears prefer masturbation over sex? (No wonder they get so angry when hikers surprise them.)

    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Are there any bears left there?)

    Turtles can breath through their butts. (What happens if they start choking?)

    Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It is called Parthenoagenesis. (I bet turkeys wish they could be pigs.)

    Eagles mate when airborn.
    (Does this make them members of the mile high club?)

    Formicophilia is the fetish of having small insects crawl on your genitals. (Please do not contact me if you have this fetish)

    It is physically impossible for pigs to look up in the sky. (I wonder where they are looking during that 30 minute orgasm)

    The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side. (Again, who thinks of studies like this?)

    Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes. ( Now that is interesting)

    It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. (And why is someone leading their cow up the stairs?)

    In Lebanon it's legal to have animal sex, but only with female animals. Animal sex with males is a capital crime. (Only a man would come up with this kind of law)

    The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds. (I am still thinking about that cow)

    Most marine fish can survive in a tank filled with human blood. (What?????????)
  • View author's info posted on Sep 16, 2006 21:32

    Queenofyourdreams write:

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)

    What if 6 3/4 guys farted for one year? You mean the city could be destroyed by 7 frat boys at a Beans & Brewski Party?
  • View author's info posted on Sep 16, 2006 21:22

    Queenofyourdreams write:
    These were sent to me by a fellow MM member. Enjoy!

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

    Thank God for microwave ovens!
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