Rob, 4w's, cutie, katie, blonde, Tallblonde, SV, Grapes, Aimee, BnB, Stats, Ready & anyone I may be missing.
I will have a day or 2 spread out over the next wk to tune into these forums a bit. Then I'm gone. I'm in a grieving state right now, & my way of dealing with it is to go away, be busy. So I've booked myself solid from Aug. 27 to Oct. Then I may have a new job prospect. Hope so, or I will be looking for a new career.
I just faced doing one of the hardest things a Mother can do...let go. I did it 1 year early. I dropped my daughter off yesterday. She'll be taking her gr 12 sailing the World on a tall ship. I won't see her again until Xmas. Until last evening returning to the hotel room without her, I didn't realize how much it was going to affect me, or when I walked into our house this afternoon, to see her shoes, clothes & other things strewn everywhere from packing;the things that got left behind. All the pictures strewn across the coffee table of herself, friends & family as she made her photo album to take. It's an emotional time for me. As some of you know, my daughter & I have an exceptionally close relationship, that is very rare. They spend a week learning the rules, & how to sail the ship, cook, etc. I head back to see her Wed. when they let her off to go for dinner, & again on Fri for the day till 8 p.m. She sails Sat. & I don't know when I'll hear from her again. I miss her already. So I'm not giving myself alot of time to mope her absence at home, hence I'm camping with friends then heading off to Italy for a bit. When I come back, I'll have to redefine my purpose in life. For many years it has revolved around my kids, especially my daughter these past 3 yrs that she has lived with me. We have done so much together. I know I haven't lost her, but things will be different in the future as she goes off to University next yr. I need to deal with all these changes. So I am saying farewell. I wish U all the best, & hope U find the love U seek. S
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words. Devo you know I didn't really forget you, the list was just getting too long. I knew you & others would understand.
You are right Jim, I shall refine Sharon by maybe getting back into taking some drafting and architecture courses at University. I may not leave y'all forever, but for a little while as I plan to be away to travel.
I saw my daughter for the last time yesterday as we had lunch, hung around the pool, then attended a reception held on the ship. Had her Dad, Grandparents, Brother, & boyfriend all there. Lots of tears, even from her bf, who had to go for a long walk to clear his head and get his emotions in check.
This morning I was up bright & early to go back to the shipyard and see her off. Of all mornings, but this was the day that her group worked the Galley for breakfast duty. Everyone else was on the deck in the red fleeces and harnesses. She poked her head out to wave goodbye.
You're right cutie, she will come home soooo grown up after this experience. And we will enjoy our time together for the 2 wks she will be home, laughing at all the stories she will have to tell.
I am FedEx'g back to her the satellite phone we got, but it will be kept with the Director on board until they reach port. They don't want students calling home while at sea. So we will have some form of communication other than internet, which will not be so easily available.
I'm sure as I get used to life alone I will get to enjoy my single life more. Until now, I have get it to minimum or almost nil! lol I focused more on my kids. Always wanted to be there for them, and I was. They bloody well better be there for me when I'm old and decrepid with a bent up walker! lol I told my son I'm moving in with him, so he better have a Mother's home next door. I like my privacy! lol
Damn...you're old enough to have a daughter that old? I always thought you were like 25. *wink*
Sharon...tis not a time to weep!! It's time to rejoice! Your daughter is grown up and ready to experience everything in life that it has to offer her. You don't need to go into seclusion because of it! Sure it's hard for the first week, my parents went through it but damn 15 years later you'd swear they were dating one another again...THEY LOVE IT! You will too.
Also, this is not a time to "redefine" you but to REFINE yourself! There is no reason to change. Refine those attributes about yourself that you take pride in. Refine what it means to be SHARON.
As always, best of luck to you my friend. Keep in touch, you know how.
Ah Sharon the baby has flown the nest... They all do at some time. I know you my friend. You have instilled in her everything she needs to make it in this world. Let her spread her wings and she will always come home to nest. Now you will get to share her experiences and adventures. I always similate their leaving with the first day of school. I remember when mine did i cried with each of them. I did the same when i pushed them out of the nesting area but they have to go. You're going to have so many rewards for the person you have created...
Enjoy your trips/vacations/sabaticals and keeps us posted on the occasion....
I'm sorry you're hurting so much, but as I've said before, you've got to let her fly and she will fly back to you when finished. This is an opportunity of a lifetime for her, a chance to see the world in such a unique way, a chance to form friendships that will remain for a lifetime and a chance for her to spread her wings and grow in ways that are yet to be seen.
It's good you're keeping yourself busy, enjoy the travelling, but when you get back please remember I'm always here to listen if you need it.
It's a hard thing I imagine having your child leave home, I still have a few years before experiencing that. It's so true what you said that you've always viewed yourself as their mom and knew exactly what position you played, but now it's your time girl! Your daughter will come back home an enlightened woman, and will appreciate you all the more. A relationship like yours with your daughter will stand the test of time.
My heart goes out to you and all my best wishes too.
I know what your going thro probably better than anyone here. Last Dec. i made a choice to start a new life in the US , this meant leaving my two kids, g/son . mother who is so close, my sister and all my friends. My daughter was in a serious accident just days before i left, she begged me to go and not hang around. Photo's and the phone help, but there are times when tears roll down my face.
Have courage, it does get easier. I promise.
All the best Uncle Rob
Sharon, my sincerest sympathies go out to you and I don't mean it jokingly. My daughter and I lived for 19 years together and all of a sudden, she moved out of our house and in with friends. And to avoid the guilt of "abandoning me" so to speak, she convinced herself that I was a bad mother all her life and now she won't talk to me anymore and is rude and disrespectful when she does. It's like night and day.
It's a hollow sorrow that can't be fixed with Tylenol or even tequila. No matter what the reason, when our children leave, it's more heartbreaking than they'll ever know, because we won't tell them for fear of stiffling their right and their zeal to fly.
It's something they and others may never understand. You live years with a young person who is dependent on you being a survivor, keeping her fed, nurturing her soul and self-esteem, teaching, sacrificing, sharing and loving them unconditionally. A mother would jump in front of a train to save her child.
I share your hurt and hope yours fades eventually. It's unbearable at first, I know. I wish I could ease your pain, Sharon, but it's a loss that can't be replaced with an alternate object, dog or person.
Please call me anytime you want to talk. Many of us here know what you're going through. We all have ears and cyber-shoulders.
Come and visit me in TO if you like and we'll do something fun to take each other's minds off it. Maybe when you get back from overseas. YOU can afford it better than I can. LOL
I give you big motherly hugs Sharon. Sorry ... didn't mean to make you all soppy-faced.
Tho I am not a mother, I think I can imagine the heartship. Letting go is a hard job, but take pride in the fact you managed to raise an individual who's ready to take on the big bad world!
I wish you the very best, stay brave and enjoy all the things you've planned for yourself!