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WHY???
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Posted on Sun, Aug 13, 2006 00:05

Why aren't cars made out of the same material as bowling balls??? They never dent, they never break, seem to be indestructible. They can crash into hard, solid objects at high speed, over and over with never a complaint.-- Well, mine don't crash into hard objects much, but some people's do.

Why is it always dark at night??

Why do you need a roof in the desert?

Why do you need a cap at a indoor ball game?

If your car has a R for reverse, why don't it have a F for forward. Whats with the "D"... Damage?? Drunk???
If you tell me "P" is for puke you can walk.

-- and here are a few by George Carlin.

" Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?"

**********************************

I am sure you have some "whys" also. List them here and we will jointly solve the problem. This should be a great international effort, showing how we can solve all of the worlds problems with our combined brainpower. (boy I am really full of it tonight).



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Posted on Wed, Sep 26, 2007 20:58

RapturousRed write:
wwww1234 write:
RapturousRed write:
wwww1234 write:
Red, practice makes perfect. Now I can uhook you, pick your pocket, steal your pan*ties, copafeel, -- all while dealing five hands of poker -- in 10 sec.

lol

No wonder it's so easy to fall for a Texan!


You are a gal after my own heart. lol

By the way, if you want to fall horizontal, we charge extra for that. We may be easy, but not free. --- But real cheep, cheep. Have 1/2 price sale every day.

lol

No they don't.....And they wake up and make you the breakfast of your choosing.

grins

Re:





why don't we just shut up & make love????????



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Posted on Tue, Sep 25, 2007 21:40

There may be some duplicates here. Hope not.


If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?


If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



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Posted on Sat, Sep 02, 2006 23:44

Red, I don;t think you are talking about Texas men. Maybe some we threw out of the state, or road out of town on a rail. -- maybe.



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Posted on Sat, Sep 02, 2006 04:59

wwww1234 write:
RapturousRed write:
wwww1234 write:
Red, practice makes perfect. Now I can uhook you, pick your pocket, steal your pan*ties, copafeel, -- all while dealing five hands of poker -- in 10 sec.

lol

No wonder it's so easy to fall for a Texan!


You are a gal after my own heart. lol

By the way, if you want to fall horizontal, we charge extra for that. We may be easy, but not free. --- But real cheep, cheep. Have 1/2 price sale every day.

lol

No they don't.....And they wake up and make you the breakfast of your choosing.

grins



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Posted on Fri, Sep 01, 2006 07:46

RapturousRed write:
wwww1234 write:
Red, practice makes perfect. Now I can uhook you, pick your pocket, steal your pan*ties, copafeel, -- all while dealing five hands of poker -- in 10 sec.

lol

No wonder it's so easy to fall for a Texan!


You are a gal after my own heart. lol

By the way, if you want to fall horizontal, we charge extra for that. We may be easy, but not free. --- But real cheep, cheep. Have 1/2 price sale every day.

lol



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Posted on Fri, Sep 01, 2006 02:06

wwww1234 write:
Red, practice makes perfect. Now I can uhook you, pick your pocket, steal your pan*ties, copafeel, -- all while dealing five hands of poker -- in 10 sec.

lol

No wonder it's so easy to fall for a Texan!



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Posted on Thu, Aug 31, 2006 21:28

Red, practice makes perfect. Now I can uhook you, pick your pocket, steal your pan*ties, copafeel, -- all while dealing five hands of poker -- in 10 sec.

lol



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Posted on Tue, Aug 29, 2006 09:33

RapturousRed write:
wwww1234 write:
Red "And mastering unhooking the regular bra by a man is an art."

**************

Awww Red, I could do that in the 9th grade with one hand while following a girl down the aisle on the school buss. You are going to have to come up with something tougher than that as your art test.

BTW, It was fun when she went down the steps of the bus, especially if she jumped down.

lololol

lol, boys will be boys...btw, it wasn't an art test...BUT...let's remember that 1) it is far easier to do when you are behind the girl/woman than it is from the front. 2) 9th Grade was a long time ago, my friend....can you still do it today?

Is mastering unhooking of a woman's bra like the bike-riding analagy? Once mastered, you never lose the ability?! If one were always clumsy at it, are they destined to remain so?

Do tell, men!

you are correct Red, clumsy opening then is clumsy opening now. of course pants have gotten lower than the old hip huggers, so we tend to have hands working lower than before early in the play time. opening the back clasp from the front however, keeps everyone in the game and is much more fun. when we were kids, that is when you girls were burning bras and we got used to that format. then you went to those crotch snap shirts!! now a guy that could reach in the side of a pair of cutoffs or "hot pants" remember those???? and unsnap that body shirt was the real artist!!! even thick old fingers never lose that dexterity when it comes to you girls so I'm sure the guy that started this string, who is a true wordsmith, has kept his talent in good form.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 28, 2006 00:45

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is what doctors do called "practice"?

You go to the ballet and you see girls dancing on their tiptoes. Why don?t they just get taller girls?



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Posted on Mon, Aug 28, 2006 00:41

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their rear end when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a penny for your thoughts"?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why does "monosyllable" have five syllables in it?



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Posted on Mon, Aug 28, 2006 00:38

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing those two songs?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why does your Obstetrician-Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it?

Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?



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Posted on Mon, Aug 28, 2006 00:34

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



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Posted on Mon, Aug 28, 2006 00:33

I would be glad to demonstrate Red. Who knows, I might have lost my touch.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 27, 2006 05:52

wwww1234 write:
Red "And mastering unhooking the regular bra by a man is an art."

**************

Awww Red, I could do that in the 9th grade with one hand while following a girl down the aisle on the school buss. You are going to have to come up with something tougher than that as your art test.

BTW, It was fun when she went down the steps of the bus, especially if she jumped down.

lololol

lol, boys will be boys...btw, it wasn't an art test...BUT...let's remember that 1) it is far easier to do when you are behind the girl/woman than it is from the front. 2) 9th Grade was a long time ago, my friend....can you still do it today?

Is mastering unhooking of a woman's bra like the bike-riding analagy? Once mastered, you never lose the ability?! If one were always clumsy at it, are they destined to remain so?

Do tell, men!



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Posted on Fri, Aug 25, 2006 10:25

Red "And mastering unhooking the regular bra by a man is an art."

**************

Awww Red, I could do that in the 9th grade with one hand while following a girl down the aisle on the school buss. You are going to have to come up with something tougher than that as your art test.

BTW, It was fun when she went down the steps of the bus, especially if she jumped down.

lololol



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Posted on Thu, Aug 24, 2006 15:39

robtest write:
RapturousRed write:
robtest write:
RapturousRed write:
Why, oh why.....

Why do men's and women's clothes button or zip from different sides? Why instead, don't they make them for lefties or righties?


Because they are opposite, if you stand face to face with your lover, their buttons unbutton the exact same way that yours do... For both of you! :o)

First, where oh where have you been?! Good to see you back, Rob.

And dang, you are so smart! I'm mad at myself now for not knowing that fundamental, animalistic answer! It makes perfect sense. Hey, how come you're wearing a sweater?!


Hey Red! I been taking some time off lately. Just got back from taking my father to the Parkinson's Clinic up in VA. He gave us a scare a month or so back, but is doing much better now!

4W's is right. That is why velcro and front hook bras were invented!!! Sweaters are good too. There are just times when more time and anticipation is overkill on adding too the excitement of the moment! ROFLMAO...

I'm glad to hear your dad is out of the 'danger zone'. Truly, we have missed your face, wit and charm but also know that we now are becoming our parents' keepers....as is natural.

On to other matters.....to my knowledge, those 'visionaries' have yet to make a bra with velcro...OH! Except I do own one that has it! It's of camouflage coloring, so I only wear it on special occasions for hunters! roflmao.. Otherwise, probably not a good idea for routine wear. And what, are you dating 20 yo's now? Now we could survey this, but I'm guessing most women over 30 are rarely (maybe the jogging bras) wearing a front fasten bra. And mastering unhooking the regular bra by a man is an art.
xo



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Posted on Wed, Aug 23, 2006 02:04

Why do you always get a stain on a new white T shirt, WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN NEAR ANY FOOD?

Why does your dog step right on your foot the minute you take your shoe off?

Why do you always get crazy busy the day you rent a "next day return" video?

Why does your kid call and tell you they haven't eaten in two days cuz they ran out of money ... when your car is in for repairs and your toilet blows up?

Why are they all sold out of corn muffins when YOU show up? Day, afternoon or evening!

Why do they always have a "70% OFF!" sale after you already bought it?

Why does it rain on the day they said it was gonna be sunny and warm?

Answer these, you frisky little bodice-ripper!



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Posted on Wed, Aug 23, 2006 00:09

RapturousRed write:
loneranger06 write:
Hey Red , Thats why when a guy wears womens clothing he has a hellava job to do up the buttons and he becomes a CROSS dresser

lol....It could be a male conspiracy to keep us women from stealing their shirts...but does it really work?

doubluuuu's, experiment time: Put on and take off a shirt with buttons. Time how long it takes you to undo them (no ripping off as LR suggested). Then put on a t-shirt or sweater and time how long it takes to take that off...Now tell us which is faster?!

But remember, gentlemen, sometimes it is in the unwrapping of the present that builds anticipation.....


Red, who unbuttons buttons? Ripping off is the only way to go. Takes about a milisecond. I guess velcro would save a little wear and tear, but then we wouldn't be bodice rippers and then they would never write all those books about us.



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Posted on Tue, Aug 22, 2006 19:13

RapturousRed write:
robtest write:
RapturousRed write:
Why, oh why.....

Why do men's and women's clothes button or zip from different sides? Why instead, don't they make them for lefties or righties?


Because they are opposite, if you stand face to face with your lover, their buttons unbutton the exact same way that yours do... For both of you! :o)

First, where oh where have you been?! Good to see you back, Rob.

And dang, you are so smart! I'm mad at myself now for not knowing that fundamental, animalistic answer! It makes perfect sense. Hey, how come you're wearing a sweater?!


Hey Red! I been taking some time off lately. Just got back from taking my father to the Parkinson's Clinic up in VA. He gave us a scare a month or so back, but is doing much better now!

4W's is right. That is why velcro and front hook bras were invented!!! Sweaters are good too. There are just times when more time and anticipation is overkill on adding too the excitement of the moment! ROFLMAO...



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