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Goodbye for Now
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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 10:49

I just started with this site and I'm already spooked: I'm having nightmares (literally), flashbacks, and sick emotions. I don't think I can deal with any of this. I can't put my finger one single disturbing aspect of it either.

Some of you are really funny and make me laugh reading your posts wwww12345, sharp1, and robtest to name a few. Some are sad reminders of what I thought I needed to be (Hustler-style photos and sex-oriented posts that make me sad and mad for some reason. Is Is it really THAT bad out there? I guess they probably remind me of me about 15 years ago thinking that with the perfect 'bod' you could get whoever you want. That seems to be a setup to get used; and I did a few times. I thought those things would make me irreplaceable and it's really all I had to work with at the time).

Some women seem so amazingly beautiful, gifted, educated, smart, connected, and ambitious here that I imagine they are probably the type of person(s) who snatched up someone I met serendipitously and prayed to marry (who happened to have all the stuff that everyone on this board is looking for and then some). We used to say we could be in Paris or a basement and it wouldn't matter. We cracked each other up and he loved me (I thought) because there was just something about me. He gets compared to Brad Pitt, and I wasn't anything that was 1/10th as impressive as so many of you, but I was aware that women were taking note.

Something went wrong and that was that. Either he is a jerk or I am inadequate to him or both (or 250K other reasons). I'm angry that someone who could mean so much to me would be this hard to get over--yet, that's what we want, isn't it?

Either way I am now in the situation where I'm having to be 'available' and what are the chances that someone I'm attracted to (on all levels) will be attracted to me? Numerically, I think I've just gone pessimistic and think it's possible, just not probable. I guess joining the site opened Pandora's box for me.

  


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Posted on Fri, Jul 14, 2006 19:37

TallBlonde50 write:
Ditto with what Devo and TripleS said. We have ALL been there and had to endure what you are going thru now. You will be surprised at how short a time it will take for you to see what everyone else does. Look in the mirror and repeat after me......I am a beautiful, intelligent, desirable woman. Start your day with that every single morning and you will believe it..especially when someone else says it to you! Take each day at a time, find yourself, enjoy your freedom, and live each day as if it's your last. I have always believed there is someone out there for everyone. It's just a matter of getting thru the hard part, then finding that one person who makes you feel special and loved!


Tall gives such great advise. You will not believe what a difference she has made in me by following her advise. Every morning this week I have looked in the mirror and said "I am a beautiful, intelligent, desirable woman."

I feel like a new man/wo.

.



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Posted on Wed, Jul 12, 2006 09:12

katiegrlK2B write:
TripleS write:
Pettrainer, Perhaps you need to give yourself a break and a little time to process your grief and loss.

I can give you a thousand platitudes, but what I want you to know is that everything happens for a reason, you are blessed in a thousand ways and you will be deliriously happy again.

We are so lucky to find someone who we can love and who loves us back. If you love someone, you wish for his or her happiness and find that if it is not with you, then hopefully he or she will find that person who will melt their biscuit.

So, do what we all do: put one foot in front of the other and a smile on your beautiful face. Your heart may be breaking, but it will pass and you will be stronger for it. Any day you are sucking air is a good day and the pain just reminds us that we are alive.

Take care and be well.


This was very touching and profound, Annie-poo. Who did you get to write it for you?

OOPS! Just kidding! LOL (I stick my tongue out and run away.....)


Get over to catfight, be-witch!



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Posted on Tue, Jul 11, 2006 02:39

TripleS write:
Pettrainer, Perhaps you need to give yourself a break and a little time to process your grief and loss.

I can give you a thousand platitudes, but what I want you to know is that everything happens for a reason, you are blessed in a thousand ways and you will be deliriously happy again.

We are so lucky to find someone who we can love and who loves us back. If you love someone, you wish for his or her happiness and find that if it is not with you, then hopefully he or she will find that person who will melt their biscuit.

So, do what we all do: put one foot in front of the other and a smile on your beautiful face. Your heart may be breaking, but it will pass and you will be stronger for it. Any day you are sucking air is a good day and the pain just reminds us that we are alive.

Take care and be well.


This was very touching and profound, Annie-poo. Who did you get to write it for you?

OOPS! Just kidding! LOL (I stick my tongue out and run away.....)

  


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Posted on Tue, Jul 11, 2006 02:35

Love and loss is like childbirth, Pet. After about a year, you forget how bad the pain was and only remember the best parts. It's a trick Mother Nature plays on us so we'll be stupid and go back and give it another go. LOL

I loved a man passionately up until November of last year when our relationship crashed like a 747. I was looking through some old emails the other day and came across one from him that I had not sent to my trash bin in a fit of crushing sorrow and desperate longing to set things right and get back together with him.

It was a bittersweet heart-tug I felt at that instant. I didn't open it and read it again but I smiled wisely and I said to myself, "I used to love you so much."

I can honestly say I'm still here because I really want to give my heart to a man who won't bruise it, a man who will cherish it like a rose bud. The pain is gone, regret is still there, but my love is open for business again.

(And I don't want any of you boys giving me a hard time about "soliciting" or how much I charge for certain "services!" I don't meant THAT!)

I feel for you Pet. Take as much time as you need to recover. But then, get your water-wings back on.

XO

  


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Posted on Mon, Jul 10, 2006 08:36

Whenever I receive a compliment, I always think it says so much about the person's ability to offer one as opposed to something so great about me to inspire one. I feel the same way about your support. Yesterday was a tough day, but it got better. Thank you to those of you who had something substantial and encouraging to offer--it says something very nice about you.

I decided to get up and get moving. I took on a couple of projects, went on an inspirational drive, and then went grocery shopping and played with my dog. Today there will be some exercise involved (God no! Wait, I will find a way to like it again. I sat in shame as my 51 y/o brother recounted his 130 mi. "Death Ride" in NV over the weekend on a STEEL bike, not titanium.) and I will finish my book.

Dating--I'm just going to start showing up. Where, I haven't a clue, but ok...I can do it. Friends are good and the conversations on here are fun.

You're right...one foot in front of the other. I don't know that I'm completely emotionally mature to be able to look at "him" and wish him love yet (that's asking a little too much from me right now), but I know I feel that way abot other past people, so...I'm capable of that.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 19:54

Ditto with what Devo and TripleS said. We have ALL been there and had to endure what you are going thru now. You will be surprised at how short a time it will take for you to see what everyone else does. Look in the mirror and repeat after me......I am a beautiful, intelligent, desirable woman. Start your day with that every single morning and you will believe it..especially when someone else says it to you! Take each day at a time, find yourself, enjoy your freedom, and live each day as if it's your last. I have always believed there is someone out there for everyone. It's just a matter of getting thru the hard part, then finding that one person who makes you feel special and loved!



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 19:32

PetT. so you opened Pandora's box and it has frightened you, Right? Well dear go open that box again and take another look. There is a pleasant surprise at the bottom.

It is called life! What are your chances of finding someone (I love this part - numerically?) well between 1 and 1.5 billion. Ooops you eliminated one so make that 1.4+ billion. Yep there are a billion available guys and a bunch of them are looking for you.

So go open Pandora's box again - how about daily! LIVE girl, there are no promises of tomorrow...

-d.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 17:01

Pettrainer, Perhaps you need to give yourself a break and a little time to process your grief and loss.

I can give you a thousand platitudes, but what I want you to know is that everything happens for a reason, you are blessed in a thousand ways and you will be deliriously happy again.

We are so lucky to find someone who we can love and who loves us back. If you love someone, you wish for his or her happiness and find that if it is not with you, then hopefully he or she will find that person who will melt their biscuit.

So, do what we all do: put one foot in front of the other and a smile on your beautiful face. Your heart may be breaking, but it will pass and you will be stronger for it. Any day you are sucking air is a good day and the pain just reminds us that we are alive.

Take care and be well.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 15:57

pettrainer --- Some women seem so amazingly beautiful, gifted, educated, smart, connected, and ambitious here that I imagine they are probably the type of person(s) who snatched up someone I met serendipitously and prayed to marry (who happened to have all the stuff that everyone on this board is looking for and then some).
______

wwww reply
People have three kinds of assets.
1. those that they were born with and did nothing for.
2. Things that they worked to achieve 3. Higher level traits of good human beings. -- things that make you a "good" person/human.

Many people that have the first two don't have the third, thus are not really worth anything. However if you have a lot of the third, you are worth a lot.

Work on those and you will be fine.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 12:09

Good Luck. Hope you find what youre looking for, or not looking for.



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Posted on Sun, Jul 09, 2006 10:10

****Exiting Quietly****

  


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