Do our past positive role models affect whom we choose? Message Board

  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 22:33

    Wow, when you think about it, we are all a bunch of really good catches! LOL A whole mess of women who were raised by terrific fathers! I hope the MM men are taking note!

    My tolerance for men who are not absolutely perfect, that may have a larger forehead than they started out with, wear glasses, stand around 6', possess a bit of a spare tire but are strong and caring, no doubt comes from my upbringing and positive role models as well.

    Isn't it wonderful having a dad who didn't take off when you were little, who took you fishing and put the worm on the hook, who showed you what makes the car work, who took the family camping because he was reall just a big boy scout at heart and who held you in his arms during the Wizard of Ox scary monkey scene?

    I found my "ideal" man once, who reminded me a lot of my dad, but he was married (he told me he was seperated) and went back to his wife after breaking my heart. That's always the risk; even if they say it's over. But that was a learning experience and I'm ready to take another kick at the can.

    So any men who remind me of Ed Asner, Carroll O'Connor or ... my Dad, (bless his cuddly soul) slightly balding, bespeckled, tall, strong but slightly paunchy guys out there.... you don't have to be Mr. Universe to steal my heart.
  • 6Comments

  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 17:20

    So you tell me, why do I keep ending up, with this guy?

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  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 17:10

    My son has #1 role model position now, in this paternal family of all women, (with the exception of him). My son was the only male born in 54 years, after my dad. He has taken over Hero position also, as he is a true gentleman, and a scholar. An inspiration, and positive role model to his peers. An amazing lyricist, who will do great things with his music!

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  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 16:56

    My Dad. He was my hero. Taught me true compassion, and freedom of expression. A soft spoken wiseman, and a scholar, who mended many broken hearts, and set them free. I try not to expect tooooo much from men, how could anyone compare to this?!

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  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 11:11

    seattlesunshine write:
    Hmmm, I do like to sit on laps. Must be yet another influence!

    Exactly, forgot about that one!
  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 09:54

    Ahhhh... thats why I'm always attracted to big-bellied, grey haired, long bearded men with a deep base HO-HO-HO-like laugh who bring me great presents!
  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 04:50

    What a great topic!

    I believe our past role models affect our relationship skills whether it was positive or negative.

    I watched a program once and they claimed all of our relationship and attraction skills are learned by age 5!!! Quite shocking really!

    If you were fortunate enough to see a healthy relationship which displayed respect, courtesy, appreciation, friendship, displays of affection, etc. this is what imprints into your subconscious and kicks into gear when finding a mate. When you look back at all the male (in my case)role models in your life your father, brothers, uncles, friends of your parents, etc. and see what was shown, this is what you'll seek for yourself most often.

    However, if you were not fortunate enough to have seen a healthy relationship, this too imprints and becomes apparent unconsciously when selecting a partner.

    You can reprogram yourself if you take the time to dissect your past, but it takes a considerable awareness as well as the desire to make change before you yourself will select something other than what you've been attracting to unknowingly.
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