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In a book a feminist asks forgiveness to men
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Posted on Fri, May 12, 2006 07:46

Waiting to find that book (how come i could lost that referal lol)...I was striken by the thoughts, different thoughts, that popped in my mind...according to what i have witnessed around me concerning the conflictual relationship between genders, the whining that man are this and that and woman this and that...Aren't we, and myself included, sometimes staying on a surface...well stuck in prejudices...Can we see beyound them....is my first thought, can we be willing to be more genereous with one another...as a woman, trying to understand more deeper what is the logic of the Mars loving "beast" lol we are searching so vividly in a site like this...(i.e with conditions so open internationnally...and consequently i like to think, more evolved in the intimicy we are wishing to find)...Wow!...I'm so idealistic...!!! lol Ok, i'll be more straight forward...

Here are some thoughts...(and of course, if they are too deep, i do not expect many people to answer it lol...if we are willing to be light and...superficial lol...)....: this is bassically related as an example of what some say here are many married man...I have witnessed and i was digging and relentlessly wanting to know more...finnaly some man were stunningly honest to reveal often uncounsciously that many stay for many years in a marriage they are not happy anymore, and are getting depressed, sometimes (this is the point that preoccpies me) at a level that jeopardizes other levels of their lives...very depressed...that they can not get out anymore from the relationship...Maybe there are more babyboomers in this situation, they silence their deepest wishes...they have no more energy to fight to be heared...Ok, this is the worst scenario, but it's also a reality...Men used to be a provider, in this situation, obviously has his limits...The depression can be seen for example in very high weird sexual fantasizes...some act on them...they geopardize their lives...ok that's the basket and only one example of developping addictions of all sorts...

I do not believe that a man who is happily married needs to have affairs...
A man lies, like everybody else, is like a child who lies, to please the parents because when he said the truth, he has been rejected...

Ok sorry, all this is quite long...but it is also a sensitive subject...Men silence their fears and pain...this is what makes me sad...some damage has been made by the 1st feminists...we woman must recognize that...make our self critic...then i believe we can get along with each other...



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Posted on Wed, May 31, 2006 01:44

Haven, yes you are right...the feminisation of some men...quite intersting phenomenon...!!!



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Posted on Wed, May 31, 2006 01:42

Hello Red, thanks for participating..i was travelling so i respond now...How can i answer, it's difficult because in my opinion is a sensitive subject, as i observed, maybe taboo...I did not associate myself first to feminism, it's when i have red the title of that book that something striked me and helped me to go beyound the usual thoughts when i was hurt by men, i suppose i could then realize that the thing with men has, how can i say it, of their irrationality, hurting quite often others, a deep root...that, feminism being 1 reason..maybe, it's a hypothesis...I realized that all my rage, or hurt dissapeared because i had something to put in perspective...We all here whine about men, scammers, etc no? the last weeks i returned here, the fights, etc...the requests of the ideal partner are huge..as in reality, something quite different happened...oh how can i say it...Also, what i was saying, well, as i said it...men told me that, they were not complaining about the situation, they were brave in the eyes of the society...talking a lot, expressing themselves as you put it...but with a dark side that they were hiding...because they did not say everything to their wifes, girlfriends, etc...their silence was speaking to me...For example 1 of them...said ( i did not invent it) that his sexual fantasies are overwhelming him on one side and at another moment that he was getting very depressed in the last years but did not make the association that both are linked...and he did not want to work on that with his spouse...his state of mind was to be concerned of...he was accepting this situation...had also some losses in his private life...did go to counselling but without results...his sadness was too much...This example made me udnerstand, but also seeing many men having been badly hurt that sometimes we can not make choices, we can not choose...the drive to slowly self destructiveness is impossible to change...Resilience is not always possible...Another example, just few days ago, a freind revealed me that one of her male friends in his last divorce his wife denounced him as whatever (the father of her child right?), he lost his job because he could not handle this battle...everything...and uncounsciously he was still attached to her...strange no? Nowdays, men are fragile...
And i really have to research that book :)...



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Posted on Sun, May 21, 2006 00:01

Extreme feminists screwed up the natural order of what men and women are biologically supposed to be doing. I do hope these "changes" have nothing to do with it being normal for men to present themselves in public wearing lingerie, dresses, full makeup, wigs, perfectly coordinated jewelry, and heels. because that is eventually where it is going. Extreme, but i know i am right.

Everyone has their right to express themselves sexually any way they want behind closed doors with someone who can relate or is mentally strong enough for this behavior. It is not natural. Has anyone ever seen a man up close in full drag? It is scary as hell to see. To a child??? he or she would have nightmares AND it WOULD influence their development.

I am going deeper... why don't we examine WHY we women are not paying attention to this. For the children, instead of being selfish and doing what gratifies ourselves. Women are supposed to be protecting the children while men protect us. Now if things were perfect that is the way it would be.

I agree with women such as Ida Craddock who fought for our sexual equality giving her life. but women acting as men and visa versa is not what she invisioned. If we think men are animals now, we are spoiled. back in the 1800's just raped. personally "never mind" I am ready for disagreements. Things are NOT as different as it appears.

  


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Posted on Tue, May 16, 2006 16:14

Aetios write:

Ok sorry, all this is quite long...but it is also a sensitive subject...Men silence their fears and pain...this is what makes me sad...some damage has been made by the 1st feminists...we woman must recognize that...make our self critic...then i believe we can get along with each other...

Sorry for editing your post, but it was long, touched on many thoughts and I just wanted to focus on this part.

It is sad that many men silence their fears and pain but I don't understand how you (if I'm reading correctly) correlate that to the feminist movement. In fact, I would say that if you stood one man from the last four generations side-by-side, that today's men are more likely to be emotionally expressive than their predecessors. I neither credit nor blame men's inability or ability to express emotions to the feminist movement. I attribute it mostly to enlightenment or self-evolution. I frankly don't think you're giving enough credit to men with your thought process. How easy for those who are emotionally void to place the "blame" on someone or some other event for their emotional being. Virtually everyone goes through an examination or journey of self-discovery, through which the values, patterns of what was learned are questioned and either accepted or rejected. It is through that journey that the true person - be it man or woman - evolves.

There is no doubt in my mind that the feminist movement shook men's world up, caused confusion and yes even some chaos. But isn't that all common when change occurs? It did disrupt the order. It was supposed to. I'm not a bra-burning feminist either, but equality is important. Choice - to be a stay at home mother or have a career -in the field of my choice while being paid the same wage as a man who is doing the same thing - is what the movement symbolizes. Why would we ask for forgiveness for a liberty?

I do believe that we are only really in a toddler stage of the evolution of both men and women since 'feminism' started. We must have diligence and perserverance but especially perhaps, patience with men as we all continue to evolve. There could be more change to come......

  


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