Film Noir, Help Write a Story Using MM Characters Message Board

  • View author's info Author posted on May 10, 2006 11:18


    I was standing in the bar cleaning glasses when she slinked in. She had a trail of smoke streaming behind her and I couldn't tell if she had a cigarette or if she was so hot she was setting the floor on fire. "Hiya big boy," she said. "What's a dame gotta do to get a drink in this joint?" She pulled a cigarette out and put it in her holder and sat waiting for me to light it. Before I could a bozo at the bar pulled his zippo. I'd seen him around town, he was a dick, private that is. They called him Devo. "What's your name sweetheart, I haven't seen you in this gin mill before." he said.

    Suddenly shots rang out in the street. The dick went to check it out leaving me and the dame alone at the bar. "Gin and tonic cowboy," she said while blowing smoke in my face. "They call me Hondo" I said "and it's been a long time since I've been on a horse."



    And so the story starts. Who is the dame? Who is shooting in the street? What did Devo find? Where do we go from here?
  • 36Comments

  • View author's info posted on May 27, 2006 09:40


    katiegrlK2B write:
    slowmotion2000 write:
    Katie I thought all you girls wore them little thong's . not much to raid there.


    No way, Mo! Some of us prefer ........... commando.

    that means no road blocks,right lol
  • View author's info posted on May 27, 2006 00:33


    slowmotion2000 write:
    Katie I thought all you girls wore them little thong's . not much to raid there.


    No way, Mo! Some of us prefer ........... commando.
  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 20:34


    Katie I thought all you girls wore them little thong's . not much to raid there.
  • View author's info posted on May 25, 2006 01:57


    robtest write:
    I think she put on some of that pheromone fragrance, as all the men in the room are swaying back and forth in the same pattern.

    Rob seeing the smiling face of Hondo back again, no longer fears danger, and quickly stashes the gun away. Too many disappearing people round here has put an edge on him. To calm his nerves, he orders another shot of that good anejo tequila.

    Suddenly, in walks a presidental candidate who says "It was Friday night..."


    ..."It's Friday Night Panty Raid Time! Let's get 'em boys!"

    The guys leap from their stools but the women are confused as to what's happening. That is, until Mrs.Hunter, the town's alcoholic divorcee is lifted off Hondo's lap and turned over for a panty-abduction. But she's was wearing one of those girdle things, tighter than a librarian's knees on the midnight express bus home.

    The boys couldn't get 'em off her. By then, the element of surprise had been lost and all the women now stood in a line in their kung fu defense stances, daring anyone to raid THEIR tidy whities, or blackies or scarleties or hot magenta pinkies or...... alright! Enough!

    "But where was Katie?" Devo wonders. "I thought she had her yellow belt in kung fu?"

    And right he was! That sneaky little journalist was getting the scoop on the back of Devo's BVD's! The waistband, to be precise. Suddenly, she grabbed and yanked 'em up to the ceiling.

    Devo uttered one soprano phrase .......
  • View author's info posted on May 23, 2006 22:08


    hondo1952 write:

    seattlesunshine write:
    The redheads squawk, "who do you have to boink around here to get a drink?"

    Hondo quickly fumbles for his



    Cell phone. Where the hell is that bartender?!? Rob is getting impatient and I think he has a gun. I'll take care of the redheads and get them out of here as soon as the barkeep gets here.

    And Sunshine makes four. Hmmmm. Yep. No redhead but a keeper just the same. Those legs, that bright red lipstick all the women are wearing in here tonight.

    I think she....

    I think she put on some of that pheromone fragrance, as all the men in the room are swaying back and forth in the same pattern.

    Rob seeing the smiling face of Hondo back again, no longer fears danger, and quickly stashes the gun away. Too many disappearing people round here has put an edge on him. To calm his nerves, he orders another shot of that good anejo tequila.

    Suddenly, in walks a presidental candidate who says "It was Friday night..."
  • View author's info posted on May 23, 2006 21:52


    seattlesunshine write:
    The redheads squawk, "who do you have to boink around here to get a drink?"

    Hondo quickly fumbles for his

    Cell phone. Where the hell is that bartender?!? Rob is getting impatient and I think he has a gun. I'll take care of the redheads and get them out of here as soon as the barkeep gets here.

    And Sunshine makes four. Hmmmm. Yep. No redhead but a keeper just the same. Those legs, that bright red lipstick all the women are wearing in here tonight.

    I think she....
  • View author's info posted on May 23, 2006 21:20


    luckysolucky write:
    I slipped quietly out the back door...They didn't call me "Lucky" for nothin'. I wasn't into the dismal bar scene. As soon as I had confirmed my hunch, I was out of there. On the way out the back, I noticed some kind of book. I discretely picked it up and shoved it into my bag. I made my way to my blazer, and carefully pulled into traffic and made my way home.
    Back home I stripped my clothes off as I ran up the stairs. I never could stand the stink of a seedy bar...They all smelled the same, of cigaretts, dispair and lost dreams.
    I was sweaty, anxious to rid myself of the sticky bra and the thong that was beginning to crawl up my *a*zz. I stripped off the offensive undies and stepped into the welcoming steam of the shower.
    Picking up the the soap I slowly lathered my body with rich suds.
    The warm misty steam surrounded me.
    I replayed the evening in my mind...
    I wondered why a class act like Darma
    would hook up with a guy like Bubba...
    And that sax player...where does he fit in...
    I turned off the shower and stepped out. After drying off I used my thick coconut body lotion carfully smoothing it everywhere...and thinking...
    The guy who hired me I knew only as "Charlie". He would not meet me in person, paid me through his lawyer, and communicated with me by a blocked number. What did he have to hide?
    I remembered the book that I had picked up outside the bar. It was still in my purse, I had forgot about it in my haste to rid myself of the bar smell. It was a dog eared notebook, and in the spiral was a well worn pencil. Inside was the name "Katie",
    as well as some other names that I recognised...and some I did not...Who was that "Hondo" that was mentioned several times?

    I was cashing out the register getting ready to turn the bar over to my assistant when I found it. Another business card with a capital "Z" On the back was one work "Lucky" Could she be a real person? I had heard about her ever since I landed in this burg. She was the stuff of myths. I never believed in myths. How did the card end up in my cash drawer? Maybe she is real and as good as I heard. All I could picture right now was a babe soaping up in a shower. Man what picture, a body to die for and the face of Helen of Troy. Rumor has it she can crack a safe and a mans skull and make it home in time to cook up a gourmet meal. What a dame she must be.

    Now if my barkeep will get here I can snag the reds and blow this joint. There is still time to find Slo and do a little trading before we head off to my place.

    The Heron released the sun and it's shining in Indianpolis again. Unless she interupts we will be racing on Sunday. She is a spiteful bird and if she doesn't get enough fish to eat things could change. I think I can handle the Heron no matter what she thinks. She puts up a hard front but underneath I think she is a marshmellow waiting to be toasted. My toaster warm and waiting for her.
  • View author's info posted on May 22, 2006 19:51


    Speaking of mysteries, What happened to the bartender, I could swear he was here just a minute ago ???
  • View author's info posted on May 22, 2006 00:23


    I slipped quietly out the back door...They didn't call me "Lucky" for nothin'. I wasn't into the dismal bar scene. As soon as I had confirmed my hunch, I was out of there. On the way out the back, I noticed some kind of book. I discretely picked it up and shoved it into my bag. I made my way to my blazer, and carefully pulled into traffic and made my way home.
    Back home I stripped my clothes off as I ran up the stairs. I never could stand the stink of a seedy bar...They all smelled the same, of cigaretts, dispair and lost dreams.
    I was sweaty, anxious to rid myself of the sticky bra and the thong that was beginning to crawl up my *a*zz. I stripped off the offensive undies and stepped into the welcoming steam of the shower.
    Picking up the the soap I slowly lathered my body with rich suds.
    The warm misty steam surrounded me.
    I replayed the evening in my mind...
    I wondered why a class act like Darma
    would hook up with a guy like Bubba...
    And that sax player...where does he fit in...
    I turned off the shower and stepped out. After drying off I used my thick coconut body lotion carfully smoothing it everywhere...and thinking...
    The guy who hired me I knew only as "Charlie". He would not meet me in person, paid me through his lawyer, and communicated with me by a blocked number. What did he have to hide?
    I remembered the book that I had picked up outside the bar. It was still in my purse, I had forgot about it in my haste to rid myself of the bar smell. It was a dog eared notebook, and in the spiral was a well worn pencil. Inside was the name "Katie",
    as well as some other names that I recognised...and some I did not...Who was that "Hondo" that was mentioned several times?
  • View author's info posted on May 21, 2006 17:06


    MM "the movie" hahahaha!!!
  • View author's info posted on May 21, 2006 01:36


    Hey Rob, your the guy that's a prof, can you blow some life into this old Mummy, Now keep you eyes open and see if hers flickers. If they do we all know you'll be in her k......s
    So huff and puff, no down in the mouth, dont go down south.
    Maybe a jolt from that generator of yours, will waken this Mummy and she could be yours,
  • View author's info posted on May 19, 2006 12:47


    Tutankhamen , the oldest mummy around, i wonder who that could be. A sozzled voice in the dark, starts to sing a tune, hark that's a lark , its The Oldest Swinger in Town, i wonder if its that bird in the gown you know What's her name? ..
  • View author's info posted on May 18, 2006 22:20


    Devoted2FindingU write:
    katiegrlK2B write:


    Just then ... the lights go out! A woman screams! Somebody lets one since it's the most opportune time to do so in the dark. Nobody will be able to tell who did it.

    Then.....


    Then... The lights flicker back on and to all's astonishment Charlie is laying face up on the floor. Katie rushes over and checks for a pulse and screams "OH THE HUMANITY, HE's gone!"

    Devo strolls over and points at the lip stick 'Smooch' on Charlie's forhead and the satisfied smile on his face. "Well it looks like he went out happy! - What's that hanging out of his fly?"

    "Katie good grief let go of that thing" Robtest scowls "Have you no respect? - For a crime scene, what is it? Oh another business card with a Z and this time it says....."


    If the Heron doesn't release it the sun will never shine in Indianapolis again.

    Available only
    to logged in members

  • View author's info posted on May 18, 2006 12:22


    All ye who enter these portals do as mortals, I'll be the judge of whose made the fudge that's not a grudge, and ?'ll not budge?. Foll de roll I'm not a troll, but them that are spooks go down in me' books and this Daring man is as big as Desperate Dan, The Beano for all you young uns, and Cow pie he'll turn you into.
    Now where's the gravy, Rob pass the 'train'
  • View author's info posted on May 18, 2006 03:04


    And then......Along came Jones! LOL~
  • View author's info posted on May 17, 2006 14:45


    katiegrlK2B write:
    hondo1952 write:
    I was standing in the bar cleaning glasses when she slinked in. She had a trail of smoke streaming behind her and I couldn't tell if she had a cigarette or if she was so hot she was setting the floor on fire. "Hiya big boy," she said. "What's a dame gotta do to get a drink in this joint?" She pulled a cigarette out and put it in her holder and sat waiting for me to light it. Before I could a bozo at the bar pulled his zippo. I'd seen him around town, he was a dick, private that is. They called him Devo. "What's your name sweetheart, I haven't seen you in this gin mill before." he said.

    Suddenly shots rang out in the street. The dick went to check it out leaving me and the dame alone at the bar. "Gin and tonic cowboy," she said while blowing smoke in my face. "They call me Hondo" I said "and it's been a long time since I've been on a horse."



    And so the story starts. Who is the dame? Who is shooting in the street? What did Devo find? Where do we go from here?


    Lee, babe, I love this thread! You wouldn't happen to be a Mickey Spillane fan would you? LOL

    I'd like to read more cheesy metaphors in this cyber-soap opera. MM writers, are you up to the challenge?

    (snort)


    Keep writing Katie. It is a lot of fun. I wish more would join in. How many people have we made mad so far?

    Sunshine, Sunshine, Sunshine...The pushup thing....You weren't supposed to tell anyone I could do that.
  • View author's info posted on May 17, 2006 01:10


    hondo1952 write:
    I was standing in the bar cleaning glasses when she slinked in. She had a trail of smoke streaming behind her and I couldn't tell if she had a cigarette or if she was so hot she was setting the floor on fire. "Hiya big boy," she said. "What's a dame gotta do to get a drink in this joint?" She pulled a cigarette out and put it in her holder and sat waiting for me to light it. Before I could a bozo at the bar pulled his zippo. I'd seen him around town, he was a dick, private that is. They called him Devo. "What's your name sweetheart, I haven't seen you in this gin mill before." he said.

    Suddenly shots rang out in the street. The dick went to check it out leaving me and the dame alone at the bar. "Gin and tonic cowboy," she said while blowing smoke in my face. "They call me Hondo" I said "and it's been a long time since I've been on a horse."



    And so the story starts. Who is the dame? Who is shooting in the street? What did Devo find? Where do we go from here?


    Lee, babe, I love this thread! You wouldn't happen to be a Mickey Spillane fan would you? LOL

    I'd like to read more cheesy metaphors in this cyber-soap opera. MM writers, are you up to the challenge?

    (snort)
  • View author's info posted on May 17, 2006 01:05


    seattlesunshine writes:

    Hondo immediately drops and does 100 pushups. How he manages this with his hands still in his front pockets, is anyone's guess 50, 51, 49, 33, 24, 36 in walks ......

    (Sunshine, you kill me! ROFLMAO)


    ... in walks ... Charlie Sheen!!!!

    Some barfly, half hanging off a stool cries out, "Holy crap! Who the heck ith THAT? BURPPP!"

    "It's Charlie Harper," Katie answers. "you know! From 'Two and a Half Men.' Jeez, what a marroon!"

    "Who youth callin' a marroon?" yells the barfly. "You penny-ampi ... penty-ami ... yuh BURRRRP penny-anti, trollopy tart!"

    Suddenly a fist flattens the barfly's nose. His body stiffens and he falls backwards like the rusted old door off a busted Fridgedaire. Then SloMo comes out of the shadow blowing on his bruised knuckles with a smile on his mug that melts hearts and causes much swooning.

    Wee perks up, flips her blonde locks and points at the stranger at the door.

    "Hey, Charlie?" she croons seductively. "Let's see your little man!"

    "That is, like, so vulgar!" declares Sunshine.

    "Not THAT!" Rapture corrects her. "God! Get your mind outa the gutter, girl!"

    Sunshine protests. "But she just asked to see his little ..."

    "NO!" pipes in Tomi. "Babe, she's talkin' about his Angus."

    "Whoa!" cries Sunshine. "Like THAT'S so much better!"

    The pinky-lifting ladies and panty-waist gentlemen all gasp at the implication. Devo's eyes grow larger than Studabaker hubcaps and he picks up his tumbler and chugalugs the whole shot of 2%.

    "NO!" hollers Stats at the prudish crowd. "She's not talking about beef, for Heaven's sake! She's talking about his boy!"

    Robtest interrupts, "Don't you mean 'his boys?'"

    A lady sitting at a nearby table faints off her chair. Her husband fans her with a paper coaster.

    "Hey, cutie!" yells Beauty. "Is that why they call you Two and a Half Men?"

    Charlie Sheen takes the ribbing in stride. He saunters in, checking out the chicitas like a horny rooster that's had his pick of the henhouse his entire six years of life.

    "Any luscious Lolitas interested in spending a wild weekend with numero uno?" Sheen drawls. "My limo's right down the street ... parked over a bunch of dead bodies lying around in puddles."

    Just then ... the lights go out! A woman screams! Somebody lets one since it's the most opportune time to do so in the dark. Nobody will be able to tell who did it.

    Then.....
  • View author's info posted on May 15, 2006 22:19


    seattlesunshine write:
    As if on cue, the redheads' hair curl in unison and in walks Cutiepie and Cutiebooty, the burlesque show for the evening. The scent of red lipstick and torrid nights follows them in. Devo orders another milk and shakes his head, "dames and more dames, murder, and all this smoke. A guy cannot be soft and be a dick."

    The redheaded dames give the cuties the old hairy eyeball, but every male eye in the joint is riveted on the pair's considerable assets. These two speak multiple languages all right; innuendo and double entendre. Every flutter of their lashes is a promise and every turn of their lovely ankles raises a salute. Dan Daring's neck gets a little tweaked as the cuties walk by, Booty putting a little more oomph in her walk. Dan quickly mops his forehead with his silk pocket square emblazened with the intial "Z" in the corner. In shocking red.

    The cutie girls know how to flutter their lashes and their ostrich feathers. They are cash curs. "Hey cowboy," they both say to Hondo. Hondo jiggles the change in his pockets. "Did I buy plums this morning" he asks himself, then remembers. It may be ladies' night, but he's no fool. The men are there for women and women mean more greenbacks. A little more green means he may be able to stop watering down the good stuff and go legit. Hondo's going to clear more than a sawbuck tonight. Maybe even enough to buy Rap a pair of silk stockings. Hmm, but then again...

    "Hey," BnB asks the cuties, "whatever happened with that indecency charge you dames picked up in old town?" Cutie takes a deep draw from her platinum cigarette holder and winks "saw your boyfriend last night." They walk backstage past the sax player who is furiously wetting his reed.

    Enjoying the dame on dame action, Hondo is momentarily distracted by Robtest's spittake as Rob realizes that not only has he wasted good booze and that slowmo's hand is on his thigh (he's been driving a long time), but isn't that the infamous


    Sunshine from Seattle? She's a used up boozehound working her way across the country with her smokey voice in any bar that will give her a microphone. The lady can belt out the blues like Big Momma Thornton and dance like Lola Falana. With legs like Julie Newmar and the face of an angel she walked in like she owned the joint. Standing in the door with her hands on her hips and her butt thrown out of gear she eyeballed the usual suspects at the bar. She saw Devo with his glass of milk and got the kind of smile on her face that a cat gets when he's got a mouse cornered. Devo is going down for the count and doesn't even suspect a thing.

    Just another night in MMville? Hardly. Six dead in the street. A blonde with a gun. Rob and Slo getting reacquainted at the bar and Sunshine threatening to take over the world. All I wanted was to skip town with the red heads and pour a little booze down to get them loosened up a little. I'm pretty sure Slo is the cause of the entire course of events. Rumor has it he is hauling five barrels of stolen Astroglide, 100 cases of rabbits two dozen cases of batteries. That would explain why the women were coming out of the woodwork and why Rob had his hand on Slo's leg but what's the deal with Devo and the milk.

    The Astroglide alone is worth thousands and I hear Slo is looking to store his stash. Bubba and Dorma's Hash House has been closed down for months, he's probably thinking about using it. Only one problem, the joint still smells like burned grease and cigarettes. No matter what Dorma did she couldn't civilize Bubba. Best food in town and they got shut down for selling hot ice. Maybe they will get out on early release. This town needs all the good resteraunts in can get no matter how low class they are.

    As if the night couldn't get any stranger in came the nurses. Three blonde bimbos sharing a brain. Tall Blonde, Stats and Wee Lassy eyed all the women and I could feel the electricity in the air. I'm pretty sure it was Wee's night to have the brain because she came in the door yelling at the other two and said they were going to get what she'd been dishing out to all the trolls, her infamous glaswegian kiss. Too bad she's not tall enough to do any damage to them. She locked eyes with Sunshine and said "Hiya Toots, whatcha staring at?" Sunshine was ignoring her since Devo had just promised to buy her a new car to continue her travels on. Wee doesn't take kindly to being ignored. She reached in her purse and pulled out....
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