Hi there! Another newbie to MM here. I had a recent encounter about which I'd like some feedback, especially from men. After seeing a profile that seemed to speak to me, I sent a wink. In response, the user sent me an email taking me to task for my "forwardness" and for not understanding the male psychology. He said that I would do well to read the book "The Rules," because if I was serious about finding a life partner, I should know that men want to make the first move, that they want to be the pursuer, not the pursued, especially men with money, because then they can be assured that the woman is not just after their money.
I read "The Rules" and it seems a bit, well, game-like and to not be grounded in truth and honesty.
If you've read the book, please let me know your thoughts.
Rules Shhhhhzzzzzzzz, This guy probably needs rules take off his underwear lol....Guess some people cannot take a complement hey... Good luck to you......... and he is just one so don't let that bother you....
"He said that I would do well to read the book "The Rules," because if I was serious about finding a life partner, I should know that men want to make the first move, that they want to be the pursuer, not the pursued, especially men with money, because then they can be assured that the woman is not just after their money."
Oh. E., that fellow is what I call a Gold-Plated, Genuine, First Class U.S.D.A. blue-stamped wanker. How in the world can such a complex, vast and dynamic "thing" as a relationship be governed by "Rules"? Heck, Robert's doesn't even attempt that. I know. I checked.
WOW!!! I haven't read any "rules" since I left grade school you know the ones titled "classroom rules" although I think it's nice to sort of have a guideline or two I think being yoursefl if very very important. My favorite saying is "you can only pretend to be something or someone for so long before eventually you either have to be that person or get out." sorry kind of long but, I like it.
I pass over the ones who don't accept winks, no matter how great they sound. If they dont have the interest to see who is interested in them, then what are they doing here? Not everyone is going to give MM, or other personals sites, their money. It's very easy to see the list of people who winked at you, and a very non commital way of opening up communication. If they are too arrogant to accept a wink from someone who isnt a member, then i wouldn't even want to get to know them further. There are many humble and truly genuine human beings out there....who would give that dweeb the time of day?!
Growing up with the women's movement, I was taught that I was as good as a man and that it was okay to behave like a man. BUT... I am NOT a man!
The Rules are gamey and I don't agree with a lot of them, but it does have some good points on how to behave like a lady. It does suggest on how to behave like a woman, how to look after herself first, and how she will attract a man based on the complete person that she is.
I feel that sending a wink is equivalent to dropping a glove in the days past to get a man's attention and there's nothing wrong with it. Sending an e-mail or approaching a man that you're interested in is completely different. If you want to get a man's attention, lock eyes with him, flirt from across the room, send him a wink!
I have not read any Rules and not sure what Rules apply but I have never been insulted by a wink. I assume that if someone reads my profile and likes what she sees, then she will wink if so inclined. If she reads my profile and does not wink, then I assume that she is not particularly interested and that is fine too. If a person does not want any winks, then he should hide his profile. It takes all