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Deteriorating Forums
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Posted on Mon, Apr 17, 2006 10:51

A year ago I participated on these forums with a group of people who were diverse in their personalities, and backgrounds. This group of regulars comprised of men and women of all ages, some were very successful, and some not so successful, but it didn't matter. Yes, there were obnoxious people too, who created trouble. But things always settled. Overall, we had a group of very intelligent people with incredible wit. Tallblonde and katie can relate to what I am talking about. We used to get up in the morning and couldn't wait to check out the MM forums to read what conversations transpired the night before...sometimes in one night you'd have to scroll back 10 pages to catch up! But it was worth it for we nearly fell out of our chairs with tears in our eyes we were laughing so hard! Then an incident occurred where MM allowed a troll to come onto the sight and made an extremely slanderous remark about one of the regulars. One that could have landed them in court. One of the regular posters was a lawyer and actually intervened contacting MM using legal letterhead, and advising this violated person of their legal rights. After that, about 23 members left MM within a couple of wks as their memberships expired. Only a handful of us remained, but now it seems 3 of us. That was last September/October. I thought things might pick up and return to how they used to be. But I'm of a mind now, that it will not. Sure some newbies became regular posters too, and new blood is good. But it's not the same. I just scrolled quickly through a few threads to note how many men have posted...3 regulars...Benefactor (a few), bobsthename (1), & Angy (several, but he's an antogonist, guess we need one to spice things up!), and a 4th guy posted his first under child custody. Not sure where Rob, Altruistic & Hondo went to. That's not alot of male interaction. I mean it is great to chat with other women, but when there is a greater number of male participants on the forums, it makes for alot more fun. The forums are read by numerous people who may never post, but they used to enjoy the laughs provided regularly. They are still read, and there are still some laughs, but they are few.
It was via these forums that I met someone from MM months ago, when I wasn't even looking. Not sure where it will go, I've been resistent, but he sure was persistent right under all of your noses! lol He created threads intended for me, to prove points to me, and I'd laugh, because I knew exactly his motive. lol
He was smooth! lol
So I find it really sad to watch the deterioration of the forums, and observe fewer men post on these forums, because it is that interaction that enables people to know you better, eg: your sense of humour, values, morals, maturity, integrity, compassion, how you handle yourself in negative situations, are you a loose canon? lol So long as it is mostly women posting, it will possibly be mostly women reading, and chances of an anonymous reader taking note of you will be much less.
Wow! This is the first time I've admitted this in public! lol But I'm still not saying who it is, because I'm unsure still. But I wish everyone luck here, because I know what a difficult site and demeaning to one's self-esteem & confidence this site can be to an individual...male or female.
Cheers!



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Posted on Fri, May 12, 2006 08:38

Wow! I've been away for several days and was catching up. Too many posts for me to address individually. If I did, all you would see on this thread would be my face! Then someone would come up with the idea I was narcissistic! lol

To everyone who commented about my new picture... thank you. That was taken about 3 wks ago at the Vivid Club in Vegas where I was partying with about 14 other former members from MM. You can meet some great friends here.

Seattlesunshine...excellent words of wisdom. I don't need to tell my daughter this anymore, but while she was growing up I would tell her and my son, "If you can't say it to someone's face, then you shouldn't be saying it at all!"
The thought of being your younger sister was cool, but alas, I'll have to settle as I could have been the older sister! lol

Interesting, I noticed Devoted quoted me regarding the Lotto's...his quote captures Lotto 649, lotto 647... and yet my post directly below is suddenly missing those. Strange...what are the MM Gods thinking? lol



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Posted on Thu, May 11, 2006 18:00

GrapesOfGoodHope write:
seattlesunshine write:
If I may add this, everyone's new photos and names are great.

I do love the forums and even checked while on vacation. Found that after some 26 year-old rum, the posts are so wise.

That said, remember that you are talking to another human being on the forum. If you need to be reminded of this, put a mirror by your monitor. Devo all ready has one, cute little minx that he is. Say those things on the forum that you will say to that person if he/she is in the same room.

Remember that often people are lonely and are just seeking attention. If you feed that, that is engage that person, it does nothing but frustrate you. You probably will not change that person's point of view. Now if it is a passionate topic and you are engaged in interesting dialogue and exchanging ideas, that is different. Use your good judgement to differentiate between the two.

I do practice what I preach, by the way. Some day, when I am wiser, perhaps I can introduce an interesting topic, but for now, I let everyone else do the heavy work.

Very wise words indeed! Are you perhaps related to Sharpie?


Well, she could be my younger sister, but no we are not related. Though we are from the same general area, where common sense is essential.



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Posted on Wed, May 10, 2006 11:13

great new pics sharp, love the beautiful smile love...



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Posted on Tue, May 09, 2006 14:37

seattlesunshine write:
If I may add this, everyone's new photos and names are great.

I do love the forums and even checked while on vacation. Found that after some 26 year-old rum, the posts are so wise.

That said, remember that you are talking to another human being on the forum. If you need to be reminded of this, put a mirror by your monitor. Devo all ready has one, cute little minx that he is. Say those things on the forum that you will say to that person if he/she is in the same room.

Remember that often people are lonely and are just seeking attention. If you feed that, that is engage that person, it does nothing but frustrate you. You probably will not change that person's point of view. Now if it is a passionate topic and you are engaged in interesting dialogue and exchanging ideas, that is different. Use your good judgement to differentiate between the two.

I do practice what I preach, by the way. Some day, when I am wiser, perhaps I can introduce an interesting topic, but for now, I let everyone else do the heavy work.

great ethics sunshine, it would be nice if everyone would adhere to the same policy. I found myself caught up a couple of times, but I try to stay away from trouble. Well....in here anyway. hehehe.



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Posted on Tue, May 09, 2006 09:23

If I may add this, everyone's new photos and names are great.

I do love the forums and even checked while on vacation. Found that after some 26 year-old rum, the posts are so wise.

That said, remember that you are talking to another human being on the forum. If you need to be reminded of this, put a mirror by your monitor. Devo all ready has one, cute little minx that he is. Say those things on the forum that you will say to that person if he/she is in the same room.

Remember that often people are lonely and are just seeking attention. If you feed that, that is engage that person, it does nothing but frustrate you. You probably will not change that person's point of view. Now if it is a passionate topic and you are engaged in interesting dialogue and exchanging ideas, that is different. Use your good judgement to differentiate between the two.

I do practice what I preach, by the way. Some day, when I am wiser, perhaps I can introduce an interesting topic, but for now, I let everyone else do the heavy work.



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Posted on Mon, May 08, 2006 19:26

Great pic Sharp, you are absolutely glowing. Good for you :)



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Posted on Mon, May 08, 2006 19:05

These forums was filled with thugs,losers,backstabbing idiots. It's alot cleaner now that they're gone.



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Posted on Mon, May 08, 2006 09:20

cutiebooty write:
Lovely new pic Sharp you look so smily and happy.


Oh how right you are Booty, the new pics of Sharp are absolutely gorgeous.

Sharp - Now we know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but one question? Do you dare tell us what put that smile on your face? lol.

We are such a jealous lot!

.



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Posted on Sat, May 06, 2006 17:54

cutiebooty write:
Seems the forums are yet again on a downward spiral...accusations of fakes, accusations that MM members are one and the same person etc etc...what dribble. Just an excuse to incite trouble for people who want to have fun.I am slowly learning why so many people are single and i thank my lucky stars my singledom is through choice.
I am off next week to warmer climates but rest assured i will be back...love me or hate me im here to stay and for those who object to non paying members
i will not be upgrading my membership.
Why pay for abuse when i can have it for free? Sorry to anyone who was awaiting me posting my pic on profile but i have decided now not to,if you care to email me i have no probs sending you pics.Hope all the nice people have a ball whilst im away.I hope to log in occasionally whilst in Turkey but pc access is not always easy to find and i will have other fun to be dealing with.

Have a great time Booty! Stay in touch if you can. Personally I think you should post a photo, they are really cute. But I took my time also posting a photo, its okay. Just remember, some people try to lighten things up around here and others just live for the drama. You will soon see who they are, just learn to ignore their comments, as they love a heated debate.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 19:51

sharp1 write:
Which lottery are you referring to Devo? Lotto649? Lotto647? are there others? :-))


Exactly! You made my point for me. You are just to dang smart. You know what the numbers are to all of them and wont share the answer until Sunday. lol.

I have been pretty relentless in teasing Sharp. But I truly respect her abilities and sense of humor. If more people on the threads took the time to build a rapport with others like I have with Sharp (and many others) we would have a fabulous forum! It does not stop and start in the forums. So many friendships are established and sustained offline.



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Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 18:20

Which lottery are you referring to Devo? there others? :-))



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Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 12:50

(Smiling now ok?) Yeah Sharp you'd be gone, BAAM! Left and right you dish out this good advise do this, do that. Who made you so smart anyway? Nobody can get a word in edge wise. Just think how much more fun the threads would be if we got more dumb*ss advise from some of these pumpkin heads. Just think of the fun we could have think Sharp! Jeez.

Since you are so smart let me ask you a simple question. What are the winning lottery numbers for Saturday?



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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 21:06

Devoted2FindingU write:
katiegrl write:
Devoted2FindingU write:
Katie, there you go calling people names "good-hearted, fun-loving NUTBARS"
Well if you were a candy bar I would call you a "KitKat" (one of my favorites). lol.


.


Devo,Sharp and Grapes... if we could just maintain the sort of light, informative, sometimes goofy banter we have as a group, and with any other men and women who know how to express their thoughts while respecting others', this forum could crawl back up to a level where we'd all enjoy it again.


Katie I agree. I think the forums have started to head in the correct direction. One thing we can do to improve forum etiquette is all agree privately or publicly to ignore people that repeatedly post troublesome threads. Sort of like the action taken against the last not so nice young man that has departed the forum.

Would it not be nice to let different people be the thread moderator for a week or month. Maybe have elections or something to that affect.

Oooo I want to be elected first I could delete all of Sharp's threads. lol.


Devo...I'm shocked...you smite me quick with the sword through the heart!
Sheesh...and when I'm away!

  


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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 09:30

Devoted2FindingU write:

GrapesOfGoodHope write:
Devoted2FindingU write:
devoted2findingu

Great idea Cutie so I will start with yours ok. What do you think guys? Check out the pic below.




Where did my pic of Cutiepie's breast go? Did I just get censored!

Hi Devo!

I suspect that your version was way too voluptous to fit into this very small space! But please try again: I'm sure a lot of us are waiting in antici........pation!



SEE!!! This is exactly the thing that Sharp was talking about. You ladies with a one track mind like Cutie & Grapes will just jump off topic and "Deteriorate a Forum". FOCUS ladies... lmao...

I think that FOCUS is not appropriate language in a forum. But hey we are kinda cute arent we?



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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 08:47

GrapesOfGoodHope write:
Devoted2FindingU write:
devoted2findingu

Great idea Cutie so I will start with yours ok. What do you think guys? Check out the pic below.




Where did my pic of Cutiepie's breast go? Did I just get censored!

Hi Devo!

I suspect that your version was way too voluptous to fit into this very small space! But please try again: I'm sure a lot of us are waiting in antici........pation!


SEE!!! This is exactly the thing that Sharp was talking about. You ladies with a one track mind like Cutie & Grapes will just jump off topic and "Deteriorate a Forum".



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Posted on Mon, Apr 24, 2006 15:14

Devoted2FindingU write:
devoted2findingu

Great idea Cutie so I will start with yours ok. What do you think guys? Check out the pic below.




Where did my pic of Cutiepie's breast go? Did I just get censored!

HAHA! DEVO I found it! my breast ended up on Hondo's last post! see it? in one of the quotes?



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Posted on Mon, Apr 24, 2006 12:21

devoted2findingu

Great idea Cutie so I will start with yours ok. What do you think guys? Check out the pic below.



Where did my pic of Cutiepie's breast go? Did I just get censored!



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Posted on Mon, Apr 24, 2006 10:07

i used to come here a while back and there seemed to be alot more participation. yes it was hard to keep up with the new posts. i never posted, i just read.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 23, 2006 06:51

katiegrl write:
redhead524 write:

Sorry to edit your post, Devo, but I wanted to focus on this point.

Count me in. Sometimes I choose to ignore drama, other times, as with the little frog, I was relentless in having his posts removed (as I believe a couple others were) and he's gone. Most of us have probably read the most recent cruel remark from one particular angry person. He's now on my hit list. A couple other instigators are on the radar.

I can tolerate a little drama. What I cannot not tolerate is hateful behavior and trailer trash remarks.


I don't know why I always forget this course of action. I see somebody being rude and obnoxious and my first response is to leave it for a while so my indignation is reduced, and then ... literary retaliation.

But, it won't stop if we don't tell MM about it! I'm with you now, on this new campaign, Red. This current "scourge of the forums" has started so many idiotic topics, some just for the sake of ticking people off, that he has shoved all the good, enticing topics into the twilight zone.

Jumping into the fire is a normal first response for many of us, katie. I know for me, it has taken a lot of restraint to resist but have managed fairly well (at least from my perspective!). It is the far over the edge remarks that I cannot and will not ignore.

When the one we're referring to gets "0" responses to his new threads, then it will be his topics that go into the twilight zone. Hopefully, you find as I have, that removing unusually cruel remarks brings true satisfaction.



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