Ettiquette Message Board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 02, 2006 at 07:59 AM

    What were you taught when you were a child?

    When I was growing up, we were taught to chew with our mouths closed. If we were chomping our food, or chewing our gum with our mouths wide open ... smacking our lips ... we were reprimanded and told, "Chew with your mouths closed!" Sometimes it would be added, "You are not a cow chewing it's cud!"

    Now...I want you to think about do you chew your food or chew your gum? With your mouth open and smacking away so everyone can see inside your mouth...gross! Or with your mouth closed? I have to tell you the latter looks much better, whether you are male or female.

    I just returned from a trip. One night, everyone was all dressed up in their evening gowns or cocktail dresses...there was a beautiful young lady around 30 yrs old. She was dressed in a lovely evening gown. She looked so refined and elegant. And there she stood in front of me, chewing her gum...mouth opening wide and closing, just smacking those lips. They closed for a moment when she was about to speak. My 16 yr daughter commented how gross it looked. I had to agree, not to mention how it sounded.

    I was surprised, because it seemed to me tht 90% of the people we watched all chewed their food or gum with their mouths wide open, just smacking away, totally oblivious to how awful & disgusting it looks, and the fact that it is considered very rude. With everyone doing it, I'm assuming people just don't notice anymore, unless you are one who doesn't do it. Kind of like smokers vs non-smokers.

    Maybe school's should start teaching Emily Post's book on ettiquette. At least the simple basics, because that is pretty basic.

    It may sound snobbish bringing this to everyone's attention. But there are people on this site who are actually envisioning themselves meeting a millionaire. These people better know basic ettiquette if they want to be accepted into the circle of friends and business associates that millionaires travel.

    So ask yourself..."Do you chew your food or gum like a cow chewing it's cud?"
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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 08, 2006 at 12:41 PM

    Etiquette seems to vary round the world, chewing gum is a total no no for a lady, mouth open or closed. In KL spitting or dropping gum on the sidewalk brings a heavy fine or a stretch in prison. How you hold a knife and fork in Europe marks you out as to your social background.
    Walking between the road and your girl, going first down stairs but last upstairs , tipping your soup bowl away from you not towards you, are all indications of being brought up rather than dragged up
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2006 at 01:39 PM

    beautynbrains4u write:
    I couldn't agree more Sharpe and ladies. My mother was a stickler for table manners: mouth closed when chewing food, elbows off the table, no reaching across the table, proper use of utensils (but I still don't understand why we need so many different forks, spoons, glasses at a formal table

    I think we could extrapolate a bit here on proper etitquette and manners on the, but lets not!! BTW, i've always found your main pic to be one of the naturale :)).

    I agree with you ladies. I was taught to always have good manners, especially at the table. I am 54 years old and when I am home visiting my mother I still watch my manners very closely when eating with her. I think society in general has no manners. We are deteriorating rapidly into oblivion. It's a matter of pride I think. Most young people have none.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2006 at 09:17 AM

    Thanks Ecam, glad you enjoyed it, and happy to hear you have good chewing habits! lol
    Grapes I also thank you for the compliment, and back atcha! :-) Talking with a mouthful of food is so gross! LOL...I could never look at my father-in-law when he was talking & eating at the table, because he did that. He was a Major in the Cdn Airforce, so I attributed it to being around alot of guys in the mess hall who just didn't care! :-(
    Remember in Biology class...we were taught why you should never talk with your mouth full...choking potential, because you also open up your trachea (sp?). It's a wonder why more people are not choking around us! They must be mastering the art of talking with one's mouth full! lol

    Well smoking may be one of your vices, but I find most smokers to be considerate and respectful of those around them by leaving to go outdoors and smoke away from everyone. You don't see people taking their gum out of their mouths, or swallowing their food first, right?
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 03, 2006 at 07:13 AM

    Hi Grapes!

    Thank you for the lovely compliment, and right back at ya too! I also hate when people talk with food in their mouths. Who wants to look at that???

    I believe there are laws or by-laws in place with regard to spitting, but have never heard of them enforced unfortunately. I agree it is also a health hazard, and the other peeve I have is people who spit out their gum on the streets or sidewalk! Next thing you know, you've stepped in it and now it's your problem when all they had to do was dispose of it in the numerous garbage cans placed along the way. One thing I've never understood is why people stick their unwanted gum underneath a table in a restaurant, it's digusting, but I do remember being fascinated as a kid to see how many pieces of gum were under my table, much to my mother's dismay lol.

    The world would be a nicer, cleaner place if we'd all just practice a bit of common courtesy and manners.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2006 at 02:05 PM

    Hi Ready!
    I've experienced the same amongst my kid's friends...even their parents! lol

    I haven't seen too many kids here that have taken up the habit of spitting...those are usually the "tough" guys...who are generally not so tough, right? lol But like yourself, when someone spits in front of me, I usually comment loud enough to be heard, "How gross!" :-) I don't care. I want them to know.

    I can't remember which country...could be China, or possibly India, but 20+ yrs ago it was made illegal to spit on the ground. Spitting carried a severe prison sentence if caught. Why? Because everyone was spitting, and serious epidemics of deadly plagues were breaking out on a regular basis killing tens of thousands of people. Since the ban, such fatal plagues rarely occur. If they do, they do not reach epidemic proportions.
    It is really common sense with respect to health issues. Maybe it will take a few deadly epidemics before North America wisens (sp?) up!

    A month ago, one of the cruiseships returned to port with 300 sick passengers. It was the Norwalk Virus, which is spread by people wiping themselves after going to the washroom, but failing to wash their hands. They touch something, someone comes behind them and touches the same spot, then does not wash their hands before handling their they get it...etc, etc. The ships have a hand sanitizing machine at every food station, with someone standing there to ensure people wash their hands before eating. Yet there are people that will still walk around it, not wishing to wash their hands. Sad.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2006 at 08:51 AM

    Hi Sharp!

    I am in total agreement about the ettiquette thing and am always appalled when I see anyone chewing anything with their mouth open. I have always taught my son to have good table manners and also add good manners will take you far in life.

    I've been to social affairs where like you, people are dressed to the nines, yet their manners are deplorable. I've always noticed my sons friends' table manners when they eat with us, and most chew with their mouths open and nine times out of ten, once his friends leave, my son will always comment on how badly they eat.

    I think maybe it is time to start teaching ettiquette in the schools, it's definitely a lost art.

    The other thing I despise is spitting! I see so many people do it, and to me this is far worse than chewing with your mouth open. If I see someone doing it, I inevitably let an "ewwww" out almost involuntarily. Lots of kids seem to do this nowadays, but there are plenty of adults too! Don't know why they feel the need, but it's digusting!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2006 at 08:35 AM

    Hmm no..

    Hey Sharp1 never the less a good post, hope you enjoyed your cruise.
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